Today I happened across this article and have got myself surprisingly cross with it! (Hence a second blog in two days which is being typed very aggressively)
To generally outline the article, ‘research’ (not actual scientific) has revealed a ‘definitive guide’ on how to achieve ‘perfect mother status’ (or 2000 women were asked what they thought made a perfect mum).
Apparently 57% of us mums know someone who has the downright cheek of attempting to portray themselves as a ‘perfect’ mum.
60% of the women asked find these women ‘irritating’ and almost 75% ‘dislike’ it when these mums ‘show off’ their achievements on social media.
So much for the sisterhood…..
This article has really pissed me off and not just because I don’t tick all 40 boxes. (PTA? Pffft. If I have a spare evening I’d rather spend it in the pub NOT talking about my babies thankyouverymuch)
The list has the super power of being able to shame working mums who simply don’t have the time to undertake all 40 tasks of ‘perfectness’ whilst simultaneously shaming non working mums who do have the time to do these things but are apparently only doing so in an ‘attempt’ to be perfect mums.
God forbid some of us actually think manners are an essential for everyone or enjoy baking from scratch and maybe even did it BEFORE we had children
With ‘research’ like this on the loose maybe we’re all (working or non working) busy trying to portray ourselves as ‘perfect’ mums because some idiot is going to come along and ask us to judge one another on our parenting skills.
I can’t help but think that those who are ‘irritated’ by it are so because they’re judging themselves against these ‘perfect’ mums.
If your child is being well looked after then YOU ARE a perfect mum. You don’t need a list to tell you how to do it and if your way is different to someone else then that’s OK.
As Yo Gabba Gabba tells us, it’s good to be different.
My personal check list on being a perfect mum is:
They’ve had food
If I have achieved these by the end of each day I consider myself a winner.
And those women who ‘dislike’ the (not actually) perfect mums ‘showing off’ on social media? Well, they’d do well to consider that maybe the mums aren’t ‘showing off’.
Maybe they’re trying to convince everyone that they’re coping.
Maybe they’re proud of doing something they didn’t think they could do.
Maybe they’re trying to find a positive in a day full of tantrums and shitty nappies.
Maybe it’s the closest thing to talking to another adult that day.
Maybe they’re actually equally as irritated of seeing pictures of your food/cat/vodka.
It works both ways.
I don’t know what the article hoped to achieve other than to strike up bitterness and self doubt in mums who already worry if they’re ‘doing it right’.
Well mums you ARE doing it right. Have confidence that your way is the right way and don’t let anyone else tell you any different.
If you bake a cake or make a costume from scratch be proud and show the world.
If you buy a cake and a costume from a shop, be proud and show the world.
Neither is right and neither is wrong.
We all have different skill sets and that’s OK.
Let’s stop judging each other on how we ‘Mum’ and just focus on our own parenting. After all, we’re all our own harshest judges and no one needs that added pressure!
Anyway, that’s my rant over.
Can I just say how thoroughly infuriating it is to try and type a pissed off blog on a knackered old laptop? I’d almost forgotten I was cross by the time I finished, it’s that slow!