joy Archives : Me, Annie Bee.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

Anna — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 15:04:26 +0000

Christmas is my favourite time of year, definitely my hap-happiest season of all. I watch too many made for TV Christmas films and aspire to romance that doesn’t exist that way, to live in a lovely lodge type home in Perfectville USA where everyone knows everyone and it snows at Christmas. To have garlands round the open fire, a Christmas tree in every room and throw amazing Christmas parties. Oh a girl can dream. We may not have parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting or caroling out in the snow. Aside from our dying tree (it looks OK from afar, like outside) we are Christmas ready. Our bakes have been baked and our makes made. Gifts have been sent to the big man to see if we’re good enough to get them back. Aoife has broken up from school and both children are getting suitably giddy. Trev the turkey will arrive tomorrow, as will my parents, Rory will be off work and we will start a fun few festive days with lovely events, friends, family and good cheer. Hearts will be glowing as loved ones will be near. As I will be busy with all these holiday greetings and gay happy meetings when friends come to call, and wine, my little blog will be taking a break until New Year. But before I smother myself in eggnog and dive into a vat of rum (let the festivities begin!!) I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you. This year has been one of parenting ups and downs, mountains – ups and downs, running – ups and downs. It’s been an up and down kind of year and yet you’re still here. Although I’ve been at this for 11 months my blog still feels pretty new and I feel like a total noob, despite that, folk have still been reading and, for the most part, enjoying so thank you for taking the time out of your life and bothering to read what I write. My family and I wish you the most Merry Christmas and prosperous New Year. I hope yours is a time filled with good company, peace, joy, love and wine (or whatever it is that makes you truly happy). See you in 2017!

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Lessons I have learned. Well, some of them.

Anna — Mon, 05 Dec 2016 09:00:00 +0000

Six years ago I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of our first-born (she was late already) and the start of a new and exciting chapter to my life. The chapter where I become a stay at home mummy (or SAHM as we call it in the business). I’ve mentioned before I didn’t have a career and had I gone back to work I would have literally just been paying for childcare so it made sense to stay home. I couldn’t wait, it was going to be a piece of cake after all. Six years down the line I still love that I am home with my babies but I’ll admit being a SAHM is like finally getting invited to that party you really wanted to go to only to discover previous attendees embellished the truth and it wasn’t always as cool as suggested. Here is what I have learned. It’s not all lattes, croissants and lunch dates. All your friends work so you’ve no one to meet up with besides, with not working comes not earning. You accept yourself as a SAHM and deal with it but you consider yourself the exception, other SAHMs are terribly boring and talk about their children and dull stuff like that. People don’t really like to ask too many questions about how you are as you actually are a SAHM and your answers will be about your children and other terribly boring things like that. You feel you have to justify yourself a lot. “I’m lucky enough to be able to stay home with my children” or “I don’t work but I’m not claiming benefits paid for by you”. Firstly It’s not luck that I don’t have to work, Rory has worked bloody hard over the years to be able to make this happen and secondly there’s nothing wrong with claiming benefits anyway, I contributed for years before I stopped working. It’s not all baking cakes. It can be but that just leads to huge weight gain, type 2 diabetes and your taxes covering my healthcare. People forget you have other interests than children and so forget to talk to you like an educated individual with opinions outside of poo and Cbeebies. You forget yourself that your brain once did other stuff and forget that you’re an educated individual with opinions that some might consider valid or at the very least interesting. If someone asks what you’ve done with your day you struggle to come up with important sounding tasks. Somehow watching Masha and the Bear and keeping a small human alive doesn’t seem like a good enough answer. It’s really hard to exercise with a small person around, they hang off your leg and get in the way. It’s pretty lonely, your friends have jobs, their work wardrobe isn’t covered in snot or food and knowing they’re being treated as actual people makes you positively green with envy. People think that because you don’t work you’ve got nothing to do and so can help out at everything. You don’t get a day off, life is like a portable office. ‘Crafting’ is so much messier than you ever imagined it could be. You stop caring that the floor needs hoovering. Your five-year old is probably your best friend and you start to act like them. The idea of going back to work when littlest is at school is both exciting and really bloody scary. You realise you have absolutely no transferable skills, the knowledge you do have is well out of date and you probably SHOULD have got a career rather than a job before children. Even the shittest days are actually pretty fabulous when you have a glass of wine and think about it. You are one of the luckiest people you know because a lot of people would love to be in your position. The Tale of Mummyhood

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Out of the mouths of babes.

Anna — Tue, 04 Oct 2016 10:26:55 +0000

I have never hidden the fact that I’m not fond of children that aren’t mine. Heck, I’ve even written a post about OPC. I will admit though, over the last few months I’ve become well practised at playdates and I’m becoming more tolerant (or I’m choosing Aoife’s friends for her more wisely…) and I actually find them entertaining now. Watching the interaction between Aoife and her friends I was surprised to notice that even at 5 girls are more into one upmanship than boys. A conversation with a girl will go “I have Toy Story 1, 2 & 3 on DVD” “Well I have 1,2,3,4,5 AND 6” A conversation with a boy will go “I have Toy Story 1,2 & 3 on DVD” “Meh” Saying that, I recently discovered that the one upmanship between 5 year old boys is VERY different. A friend told me that her son Buddy* came home and declared “Juan said his daddy had a bigger willy than my daddy.” *WTF FACE* Lord only knows what conversation Juan and his daddy were having! Generally though, the conversation I hear amongst them have me smiling to myself a lot. “Pretend it’s my birthday” “Pretend I’m a Princess” “Pretend this is my kingdom” “Pretend I’m dead!” “I don’t like pepperoni pizza” “Me either” “I don’t too” “ALL THE PEPPERONI PIZZA IS GONE, I WANTED THAT!” “This is the best ball I’ve EVER been to!” “She called me a poopoo head” “She TOLD me to call her a poopoo head” “I want to sit next to her” “So you two swap seats” *Sigh* “At least we can hold hands here” “Who’s been squirting stuff?” “No one, we’ve just been putting your lipstick on”. “We’re twins” “We’re twins too, except we have different trainers & different clothes” “And your hair is different too” “Yes, my hair is different” “And we’re not sisters” “Yes” “Can we have the Snow White dress?” “No, it causes too many arguments” “No it doesn’t” “Yes it does” “No it doesn’t” “My point is proven” “We brushed our teeth upstairs” “Did everyone bring a toothbrush?” “No” *baulk* “What’s a cigarette?” “It’s a long thing you put in your mouth and you get this thing made of fire and set fire to it then it makes your teeth go yellow then brown then black” “Let’s play football, I’ll be the black team (she has a red top on) and you be the red team (you guessed it).” “Let’s play football, I’ll be the guard of the goal” (The Guard of the Goal sounds SO much more impressive that goalie) *Names have been changed to protect identities….Of the daddies.

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“I love you with all my heart, well, most of it”

Anna — Tue, 09 Aug 2016 09:21:00 +0000

We’re into week three of the summer holidays (though someone clearly forgot to inform the sun) We’ve had a couple of fall outs, a LOT of chattering, a close escape, a fair bit of foot stamping and declarations of inhumanity, a LOT more chattering and not enough wine. That’s just in the five days since the children returned from my parents. I’m working on this whole ‘being positive’ thing still. Trying to focus on the good things in life and not get dragged down by all the horrible crap going on in the world. Being thankful and grateful for all that I have. I will confess that this morning was a struggle. I woke up to Aoife lying in bed next to me arguing. With me. I hadn’t even opened my eyes and I was wrong! So this morning, the first ‘thoughts of thankfulness and gratefulness’ were “Thank you that I am blessed with a daughter who’s imagination is so great it can create an argument with a sleeping person. Thank you that my daughter knows her mind enough and is confident enough to speak it, loudly, even when she might not be correct. Thank you for blessing her with a voice so loud that if she were ever to get lost we would totally hear her shouting. Or telling someone how wrong they are.” I hope the universe is as satisfied as I was with myself for finding some positives there! The school holidays get more challenging every time they come around. Mostly because Seth is getting older and so he and Aoife not only interact more, but they wind each other up more too. She takes his box and sits in it. He takes her brioche right out of her hand and crams it in his mouth so she can’t retrieve it. She takes his trains. He takes her cake. When we decided to have a second child, I had this lovely, romantic notion that Aoife would be like a mother hen at first and as time went on they would play wonderfully together and maybe I’d be able to leave them to play together whilst I enjoyed a quiet cup of coffee or had a wee in peace. We’d do lots of wonderful activities together like crafting and baking and we’d look like one of those perfect families that you see on other peoples social media/blogs. I was deluded. They have had their funny moments though. Thankfully. “Your dress is bigger because you have quite a big tummy” “I’m NOT chasing him, I’m walking slowly where he’s running. In fact HE is chasing me really.” “We’re not running, it’s called speed walking” “I was what?” “8lb 2” “And Seth was?” “8lb 10” “So, I was, like, 8p cheaper?” “I love you and Daddy with all of my heart. Well actually, I love you, Daddy and Seth with most of my heart. I love Grandma and Grandad and all the other people I love with the rest”. “When you read the bits where people are talking I want you to do it in a French voice” “Can we have pizza for tea tomorrow please?” “I don’t have one in, Ohh I could make you one though” “No, don’t worry, just buy one” “But I make nice pizza!” “You really don’t, it’s terrible pizza” “Right, go up to your room now!” “Umm EXCUSE ME! That was RUDE!” “Upstairs, NOW.” “NO” “Oh” Although it’s kind of funny (or would be if it were someone elses child) this last one is a killer. What do you do in that situation? You’ve got to the point where you’re sending them to their room or the naughty step and they point blank refuse? It’s like the last resort of telling off and they completely ignore it rendering you a huge fail! Hog tying is frowned upon, I’m at a loss! Still, only 28 days more to go!

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“Happy talk, keep talkin’ happy talk, Talk about things you’d like to do…”

Anna — Tue, 14 Jun 2016 09:36:00 +0000

This morning as I caught up with the news I read an article about a trial in York regarding four grown men bullying a teenage colleague because he was Catholic (the trial is today. In the 21st century. Not 100 years ago surprisingly). As I read I felt my face start to scowl and I realised that I’ve spent a lot of time recently reading articles and watching news with my eyebrows all angry and my WTF face on. I was beginning to worry it would stay like that. With football hooliganism, homophobic attacks, terrorism & the EU referendum on top of the refugee crisis, human trafficking and all the other bad going on I found myself worrying, once again, about the kind of world I’d bought my children into and how I could protect them from it. (I’m one of those people who gets REALLY wound up and cross about these things that I have no control over). Now, as I’m fast approaching middle age I can’t afford to keep my face in such a negative position, I’ve heard it speeds the ageing process and I’m not in a position to be risking that! Also, as a believer the negativity breeds negativity, I realised it’s just not wise to obsess over these things. Yes they’re terrible, terrible events and situations and they make me really angry but I’ve got to try and make my immediate environment a pleasant one. This is is partly how I can keep my children safe. And so I decided to counteract the negative in my head with positive (positivity breeds positivity, you see my thinking yeah?) and think of all the things that make me happy and luckily for you this is my outlet. You’re welcome *winky face* 1 – Aoife climbing into bed with me on a morning, giving me a kiss a hug and saying ‘Good Morning’ rather than shouting at me for something I did wrong between bedtime and her waking me up. 2 – When I’m washing up in the kitchen and Seth runs to the door shouting “Mama, mama, mama” and I say “yes darling?” And he goes “Hello” in a sing song voice. 3 – Getting a fantastic line with an eyeliner pen. ON BOTH EYES. 4 – The sound and smell of the coffee machine making coffee. I had invested in a fancy pod machine but sold it as it wasn’t the same. It didn’t have the sound or fill the house will the smell of coffee like a filter machine does. Also, coffee with friends can go here. 5 – When you smile at a stranger and say ‘hello’ and they smile back and say ‘hello’ without looking at you like you’re a weirdo. 6 – The sound of wine pouring from a bottle. 7 – Rory giving me three kisses on the cheek every single day before he gets up. No death breath with a cheek kiss. WINNER! 8 – When folk do nice things for others but not for personal gain, just because it’s nice to be nice. 9 – Visiting my parents and feeling like I’ve gone home even though I’ve never lived in their current house. 10 – Picking up Aoife from school and having that ten minute chat with the other mums that cheers me up and sometimes is my only actual conversation that day. 11 – The first five minutes when the children have gone to bed quietly and the silence is big. Then Xabi comes along shouting at me and breaks the peace. 12 – Binge watching Pretty Little Liars, I KNOW I’m too old to watch it but it’s just fabulous, I defy anyone not to get hooked. 13 – Watching the Mummy bird in the garden take seeds from the bird feeder to her children as, although they’re growing up and can fly, they can’t quite figure out how to work the bird feeder yet (though Rory is getting pissed off with the birds for eating all the seeds so quickly – but they’re CUTE). 14 – The voicemails from my friend that make me laugh aloud and the subsequent catch up phone call (even though it reminds me she’s too far away). 15 – When good things happen to good people. 16 – The taste of a good red wine. Or a mediocre one, I’m really not that fussy. 17 – A day when news and social media isn’t full of humans being vile/snarky/mean to other humans. 18 – The smell of the air after a summer downpour. Like there’s been a big clean. 19 – Getting a new delivery of scented candles (I know, I know, it’s a bit Grandma but a good scented candle is hard to find) 20 – The smell of an empty Tictac box (don’t knock it until you’ve tried it). 21 – When I look in the mirror and don’t look 45, this doesn’t happen often so this is a good one. 22 – Being at an airport – I like the anticipation and excitement in the air from all the passengers. 23 – Noticing Aoife quietly copying my gestures or stance, but not the swears. 24 – When the children eat something I cook without complaining, I actually happy dance in this scenario. 25 – Pictures of baby polar bears. 26 – The peaceful breathing sounds the children make while they sleep, and not just because they’re asleep. 27 – When Aoife dresses herself, she likes to embrace all the colours and all the patterns at the same time. Girl got style. 28 – When I turn to look at Seth in the car and wink at him and he ‘winks’ back. 29 – Those times when we’re not shouting or rushing or faffing or fretting and I can just take a minute to look at my perfect little family and remember how lucky I am. 30 – Wine. Just listing it down has already made me feel lighter and I can feel my brow is less furrowed. What would be on your list of happy? Write one and see. Happy day to you all! 31 – Wine.

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