blogging Archives : Me, Annie Bee. https://meanniebee.com/tag/blogging/ A not so serious blog about family, life & wine. Fri, 17 Jan 2020 12:01:26 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3 https://meanniebee.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/cropped-MABFav-32x32.png blogging Archives : Me, Annie Bee. https://meanniebee.com/tag/blogging/ 32 32 125685776 If you can’t be kind, be offline. https://meanniebee.com/2018/01/17/if-you-cant-be-kind-be-offline/ https://meanniebee.com/2018/01/17/if-you-cant-be-kind-be-offline/#respond Wed, 17 Jan 2018 18:21:09 +0000 http://meanniebee.com/?p=5717 As a blogger I spend a lot of time in the internet, most specifically social media. A lot of time is spent moving in the same virtual circles as other bloggers. I’m aware that it’s a very curious world I frequent. One where I’ve debated with strangers in 140 characters or less. Where opportunities have been found. A strange world where I’ve made ‘friends’ with people I’ve never met. These are people I have happened across for a variety of reasons. Some because we have a similar sense of humour. Others because we have similar interests but most because we share a love of writing and put a lot of time and effort into getting our stuff out there. The thing with the internet is that, in order to not go crazy, you must take someone at face value. You must assume they are as decent as they would lead you to believe. I’ve actually been really lucky in that some of the ‘friends’ I’ve met online, I’ve met in the real world and they are still that great people who I am pleased to call friends. Alas, I’ve also encountered a fair few twats along the way. There are those who are snide, they will tweet you and tell you how great you are whilst simultaneously messaging someone else to point out what an idiot you are. Then there are those who thrive on calling people out, belittling and humiliating people. They attempt to be constantly controversial and getting swept up in stuff (that frankly is none of their business) for clicks, likes and popularity. “But Anna” I hear you cry “this goes on in all walks of life. It is not blogger specific”. You are indeed right dear reader. It does go on all over life BUT when you consider that my blog ‘niche’ is parenting and most of those loitering in my virtual circles are parents. Well, it makes me a bit sad. Some of us blog as a hobby, others of us blog as our job. We live in a hope that we can work from home and make enough money to look after our families. At a time when we should be supporting one another as parents, patting each other on the back and celebrating each others achievements there seems to be more interest in dragging one another down and putting people in their place. Trying, essentially, to ruin the joy someone takes in writing or, indeed, their income. When did this become OK?  If we as ‘professional’ adults, with heads full of knowledge and common sense are hiding behind keyboards ‘telling it as it is’, ‘putting it out there’ and ‘setting people straight’, seemingly out of jealousy, what hope is there for our children? WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN! We are bringing up our children in a very different world to the one we grew up in. A world where the internet rules. It’s a world were people don’t bother letting facts get in the way of the chance to wield their virtual pitchforks and start baying at strangers because, well, everyone else is. The internet is an astounding invention, a world of information is now at our fingertips yet it has resulted in a backward step for people socially. People give in to peer pressure more than they would in real life, people congregate in mobs because they don’t want to feel the wrath of the next rant. It’s very much like school, be friends with the bully so you’re not the bullied. At least, when we were younger we were largely untouchable if we were within our own four walls. Home was a safe place. Generally speaking, no matter how awful things were at school or even work, it couldn’t get to you at home. Now, the internet ensures that even in a safe home environment, kids can still be subject to other kids ‘telling it how it is’. Last week I discovered, via the child of a friend, that there are even websites to “help you in discovering your strengths and areas for improvement by receiving honest feedback from your employees and your friends in a private manner” Or in that particular situation… Enable children to tell other children that everybody hates them and they should kill themselves. Seriously. We have all read about how things like this are going on more and more amongst children via social media. We shake our heads in despair and ask why children think they have the right to be so cruel online. Why do they think they can get away with hiding behind a keyboard saying mean things about others. Bullying is bullying after all! Then we quickly compose a tweet announcing how ridiculous that woman from that show is for calling her baby Zeus. Obviously we tag her in the tweet so she knows our unwanted opinion, heck maybe we’ll start a hashtag too. Whilst we might not be online issuing death threats to others, we are online #justsaying and making snide remarks. We are back stabbing and belittling others. We are occasionally being bloody awful. Then we question why children are treating one another in exactly that same way online. If we display this behaviour online, we can’t be surprised when our Little Angel starts rallying the masses to pick on Jonas because he doesn’t like football or something. We need to teach our children that just because we can’t see someone, it doesn’t mean our words won’t hurt them. They need to know that creating a mob, spreading gossip and name calling can have an effect not only on the stranger you’ve decided you don’t like, but at times their family and friends too. Ultimately we can’t expect our children to be decent online citizens if we don’t lead by example.      

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]]> https://meanniebee.com/2018/01/17/if-you-cant-be-kind-be-offline/feed/ 0 5717 What kind of Mum are you? https://meanniebee.com/2017/01/09/what-kind-of-mum-are-you-parenting-quiz/ https://meanniebee.com/2017/01/09/what-kind-of-mum-are-you-parenting-quiz/#comments Mon, 09 Jan 2017 07:00:16 +0000 http://meanniebee.com/?p=1931 As a blogging sort I spend a lot of time procrastinating writing. With deadlines looming there’s absolutely only one thing to do – a quick ‘Which DC character are you?’ quiz (Batman of course). Obviously, in the spirit of equality I must then do a ‘Which Marvel character are you?’ quiz (Thor – URGH, No one wants to be Thor) and then a ‘Which female superhero/villain are you?’ (Harley Quinn). As you can tell, I love a good quiz, I always have. It started with the Just Seventeen ‘What kind of friend are you?’ and spiralled from there. In homage to my love of quizzes, I decided to create my very own. So *drum roll* here it is, the one, the only, totally legit… WHAT KIND OF MUMMY ARE YOU? You hear your child shout “Mummy” for the 73rd time that morning, you: A) Reply “Yes darling?” B) Mutter “FFS” under your breath then “yes?” C) Shout “I’m changing my name and not telling you what it is” and stick a beer in the fridge to chill. It’s a rainy, Saturday afternoon, the kids are climbing the walls, you: A) Do some crafting? You always have glitter, glue and pompoms in case of emergency. B) Go to the park? It may be raining but there’ll be no queue for the swings and no OPC. C) Put them in front of the TV? They can enjoy Cbeebies while you drink gin in the kitchen and remember when Saturdays were about shopping for clothes. You finally get a babysitter so you can enjoy date night, you: A) Stay at home? You’re a family, you only do things as a unit now. B) Go for a meal? You spend the whole evening talking about the kids and call the babysitter to check they settled. C) Hammer the shots?  You’re free! You’ll deal with the fall out tomorrow when the kids are climbing all over you. Your child wants a friend round for a play date, you: A) Spend time planning a themed play date? Creating games, outfits and even themed food, all homemade of course. B) Make a floor picnic? Maybe play some sedate party games too. C) Buy a couple of pizzas? Drink wine downstairs whilst trying to ignore the banging and crashing upstairs as they clearly trash your house. Your child’s school PTA needs helpers, you: A) Sign up for a variety of stalls? You’ll sell all your raffle tickets AND make enough cakes to single-handedly stock the cake stall. B) Start with the best of intentions? You’ll plan to be parent A but in reality you’ll reluctantly sign up to help at the 11th hour after the third, desperate, email has been sent from the PTA. C) Employ avoidance tactics? You spend a fortnight dropping your child off with the stealth of a ninja – avoiding all eye contact with PTA members and hiding behind trees. You’ll spend the school fayre having a pub lunch. Answers: If you answered mostly A – Congratulations, you’re a fantastic mum, you have your child’s best interests at heart. You love them with every breathe you take and they know that. If you answered mostly B – Congratulations, you’re a fantastic mum, you have your child’s best interests at heart. You love them with every breathe you take and they know that. If you answered mostly C – Congratulations, you’re a fantastic mum, you have your child’s best interests at heart. You love them with every breathe you take and they know that. You maybe drink a little too much though… We should meet up sometime! Cheers.    

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]]> https://meanniebee.com/2017/01/09/what-kind-of-mum-are-you-parenting-quiz/feed/ 17 1931 The hardest thing about being a parent..IMO https://meanniebee.com/2017/01/03/the-hardest-thing-about-being-a-parent-imo/ https://meanniebee.com/2017/01/03/the-hardest-thing-about-being-a-parent-imo/#comments Tue, 03 Jan 2017 21:29:49 +0000 http://meanniebee.com/?p=1680 Order is restored! Or at least something resembling order is restored. Aoife is back at school, Rory is back at work and Seth is watching Toy Story 2 back to back whilst dressed as Buzz Lightyear. Standard. Having been a lazy bum and taking a couple of weeks away from blogging and shameless self promotion I’m a bit tired so I decided to ease myself back into it gently and go for a Top Ten. Here’s the Top Ten things I found hardest about becoming a parent, or more specifically a Mummy for that’s what I am. Child Birth Yes, I know this is obvious but I didn’t read past week 33 in my ‘How to be pregnant’ book. It wasn’t all “oh my gosh, I peed myself…no wait my waters broke”…*scream like a banshee*….baby after 30 mins. It took days, neither child was in a hurry. It was painful, I sparkled, I cried, I was rude to the midwife, it was undignified, it was exhausting! Shitty Nappies Again yes, I’d HEARD about them but nothing. NOTHING can prepare you for an explosive, up the back, out the sides shitty nappy. The one where you have to hold legs in the air, cut baby out of the vest and wipe all at the same time.It’s on their hands, it’s on their feet, at least it’s not on….no way, how did it get there? IT’S ON THEIR HEAD.  IT’S IMPOSSIBLE. Not laughing at ‘not good’ behaviour Obviously the biting and wall drawing isn’t a laughing matter, but the sass. Well, as much as I don’t admit it to Aoife, it’s HILARIOUS. Like the time Rory asked her to pick something up, she replied “Give me a minute woman”. Or the time I put her on the naughty step and took away her treats. “Will I still have food & water?” “Yes” “Oh I’ll be fine then”.  Sometimes you just have to walk away and laugh. Without them knowing of course. Sneezing Coughing, laughing, crying, sparkling, running, dancing, jumping. All not just hard, almost impossible! Appreciating the things that are important to them Instead of being a destroyer of dreams and imagination, you have to appreciate every leaf/pine cone/stone/receipt placed into your bag because it’s “really beautiful” or “magic” or “stone”. It’s so hard to not point out your dismay at your handbag or pocket being full of snotty tissues and detritus. Being a parent ALL THE TIME. It’s nonstop! Even if you get some time away you think about them and talk about them. If you don’t think about them then you think how you should take it easy as you’re going to have to go home and be up with them in the night. If you have the kind of children that sleep through then you’re still thinking about looking after them with a hangover. The parenting just doesn’t stop! Finding a babysitter. When you announce you’re pregnant with your first child all your friends will tell you how excited they are and how they’ll babysit. LIES. As soon as baby arrives it becomes “I’ll babysit when they sleep through” then “I’ll take them to the pub at 18”. It’s not like the Babysitter Club books I read as a child!! Guilt Mummy Guilt/Daddy Guilt, call it what you want. It’s intense! Before children I didn’t do guilt but childbirth brings this whole new emotion. Every decision you make leads to a feeling of guilt. Everything you say leads to a feeling of guilt. Every time you leave them, every time you don’t. Every time you tell them off, every time you don’t. “I am too hard on them, I’m too soft on them, I’m abandoning them , I mollycoddle them” OH MY GOSH. I will also put crying in here. I have cried so much more in the last 6 years than I ever did in my previous 32! I have even cried at Four Weddings and CSI. Dealing with your body and mind It changes so much, at first it feels like it’s not your own. It gets big, it starts to behave differently. If you’re breast feeding it can feel like it’s completely someone else’s. It gets fatter due to ‘baby weight’, loneliness, sadness, boredom, habit. Your mind can be vicious, making you question everything. Making you paranoid. Making you feel bad about you and your parenting. Mix the two together and it’s a pretty rough time. I’d love to say you deal with it like this….but I still don’t have an answer. Baby groups/School playgrounds URGH. All these other Mummy’s just being amazing, looking fantastic and coping. They breastfeed so well, they look amazing, their children behave, some of them have actual jobs as well as being a mum. Their children love Baby Einstein and only listen to Beethoven, in fact, give Sebastian a toy piano and he can compose a tune, HE’S ONLY 8 MONTHS OLD! They never look harassed and have never dropped the F-Bomb in front of their children. When you’re tired, feeling fat and lonely THIS is one of the hardest things, this leads me to Pretending OK, I know I said Top Ten but I don’t like to conform. Being a parent is pretending all the time. We pretend we’re coping, we pretend we know what we’re doing, we pretend we’re happy with our smock dress, we pretend we’re not comparing ourselves to every other parent we see, we pretend every single minute of parenting is a breeze. It’s a tough act to keep up.  We should all probably drop the pretending and then my Top Ten would be a legit Top Ten.   Aside from all that, this parenting lark is a piece of cake.

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]]> https://meanniebee.com/2017/01/03/the-hardest-thing-about-being-a-parent-imo/feed/ 2 1680 Happy New Year! https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/31/happy-new-year/ https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/31/happy-new-year/#respond Sat, 31 Dec 2016 14:50:22 +0000 http://meanniebee.com/?p=1596 So here we are, ready to enter a brand spanking new year. The year two thousand and seventeen. It wil be my 39th year on this here planet. BLOODY HELL. I am a New Years Grinch. If you take the passion with which I love Christmas I loathe New Year with that very same passion. I hate the big deal made about a New Years Eve night out, buying a new outfit, over priced entry into crowded pubs and twice the price taxis home. I don’t think so. Then there’s the anticipation. At the stroke of midnight we will suddenly become non smoking/drinking/binge eating individuals….Well maybe not at the STROKE of midnight, when we wake up….well maybe not when we wake up as there is that work thing on Wednesday so maybe on the 10th….or March… We actually just wake up being our very same selves as we went to bed. It’s all terribly disappointing. Our New Years Eve will be spent drinking wine, eating food and playing games with the besties. Parfait! I’m not one really for making resolutions per se, I am more of a ‘make a change it when it needs changing’ kind of a girl. If I feel I need to drink less or exercise more I don’t make a resolution on the 1st of January, I just make it right there and then, even if it’s June. Please don’t think me all self righteous though, I still break these non resolutions as soon as I make them. I spend my life needing to drink less, eat less and exercise more. It would take more than a resolution to fix me – therapy would probably be the better answer! Anyway, setting aside my general mardy arseness I decided to take a little look back on 2016 to see how I fared in auld lang syne… I started my blog. This one right here that you’re reading. It’s nearly a year old. I climbed a mountain. I did a 5k run. I kept 2 children alive. I lost a lot of arguments with my children. I watched EVERY episode of Pretty Little Liars AND Real Housewives of New York. I know, right!? I had some fantastic holidays and days out with my family. I gained a LOT of weight. The last one isn’t something I am pleased about but it definitely happened! Wow, 2016 looks terribly lame! Still, 2017 is currently a book of blank pages so I can make some changes… I may not make resolutions but I do have a 2017 to do list. Keep the children alive some more and maybe ‘grow’ them into good people. Take more time to enjoy Rory & the children. Not sweat the small stuff. Be kinder to myself and try to like myself more. Be more confident. Laugh more. Grab life by the balls and try to make our dreams a reality. Do something that challenges me, I was going to do Total Warrior but I’ve not been able to get any training done so it won’t happen this year. Take over the WHOLE world with my blog. THE WHOLE WORLD. If I achieve just one thing on my list I’ll be pleased with myself! What’s on your 2017 to do list? Whether you’re looking forward to fireworks, first footing and midnight kisses or board games, sedate conversation and a early night I wish you a very happy and prosperous new year. Make 2017 be the year you want it to be.

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]]> https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/31/happy-new-year/feed/ 0 1596 It’s the most wonderful time of the year… https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/22/its-the-most-wonderful-time-of-the-year-2/ https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/22/its-the-most-wonderful-time-of-the-year-2/#respond Thu, 22 Dec 2016 15:04:26 +0000 http://meanniebee.com/?p=1537 Christmas is my favourite time of year, definitely my hap-happiest season of all. I watch too many made for TV Christmas films and aspire to romance that doesn’t exist that way, to live in a lovely lodge type home in Perfectville USA where everyone knows everyone and it snows at Christmas. To have garlands round the open fire, a Christmas tree in every room and throw amazing Christmas parties. Oh a girl can dream.  We may not have parties for hosting,  marshmallows for toasting or caroling out in the snow. Aside from our dying tree (it looks OK from afar, like outside) we are Christmas ready. Our bakes have been baked and our makes made. Gifts have been sent to the big man to see if we’re good enough to get them back. Aoife has broken up from school and both children are getting suitably giddy. Trev the turkey will arrive tomorrow, as will my parents, Rory will be off work and we will start a fun few festive days with lovely events, friends, family and good cheer. Hearts will be glowing as loved ones will be near. As I will be busy with all these holiday greetings and gay happy meetings when friends come to call, and wine, my little blog will be taking a break until New Year. But before I smother myself in eggnog and dive into a vat of rum (let the festivities begin!!) I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you. This year has been one of parenting ups and downs, mountains – ups and downs, running – ups and downs. It’s been an up and down kind of year and yet you’re still here. Although I’ve been at this for 11 months my blog still feels pretty new and I feel like a total noob, despite that, folk have still been reading and, for the most part, enjoying so thank you for taking the time out of your life and bothering to read what I write. My family and I wish you the most Merry Christmas and prosperous New Year. I hope yours is a time filled with good company, peace, joy, love and wine (or whatever it is that makes you truly happy). See you in 2017!

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]]> https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/22/its-the-most-wonderful-time-of-the-year-2/feed/ 0 1537 Sweet child o’ mine. https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/12/sweet-child-o-mine/ https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/12/sweet-child-o-mine/#respond Mon, 12 Dec 2016 13:41:18 +0000 http://meanniebee.com/?p=1225 In 2010 I was pregnant, I would have told you that if my child were a girl she wouldn’t always wear pink, if it were a boy he wouldn’t always wear blue. I would have told you that my child would always show good manners. My child wouldn’t have a snot encrusted face. My child wouldn’t have massive public meltdowns. My child and I would have an amazing, love fuelled relationship. My child and I would do many different activities every day. My child wouldn’t watch TV. My child would never be mean. My child would never act spoilt. My child would be a kind child who recognised that they were blessed with a loving family and a lovely life. Here I am six years down the line. Mine is the child who likes to lay down in the middle of the street, maybe even eating stones. Mine is the child who scooched along the floor on his back and got stuck under a clothes rail in Primark. Mine is the child trying to hold the hands of strangers to take them home. Mine is the child constantly looking for a means of escape. Mine is the child telling me how unfair I am because her pillows are all wrong. Mine is the child kicking the bath because we had the audacity to ask her to have a shower. Mine is the child who threw the biscuit across the playground because I bought the wrong one. Mine is the child who looks like their wardrobe exploded at them. Mine is the child eating yogurt covered raisins from the wet floor. Mine is the child who speaks to me in a way I would never dream of speaking to my parents even at this age. Mine is the child walking away from me  when I ask for a hand. Mine is the child wearing clothes inappropriate for the season. Mine is the with pasta sauce in their hair at least I hope it’s pasta sauce. Mine is the child who doesn’t stop all day, every day. Until we need to be somewhere then he barely starts. Mine is the child who bites in anger. Mine is the child who walks under my feet so I trip up in public, usually in front of people. Mine is the child who ignores what I say in public leading me to talk in that low, whisper type voice that means business but is still dutifully ignored. Mine is the child having a tantrum because I have no snacks left. Mine is the child who makes other people look up from what they’re doing to see what the commotion is about. I am the mum often looking harassed. I am the mum, sometimes exhausted even though her children should be sleeping through. I am the mum who often wants the earth to open up and swallow her. I am the mum who tries hard to placate her children and make sure they don’t spoil your day. I am the mum who constantly reminds her children not to be mean. I am the mum who tries to encourage her children to have manners and be respectful to others. I am the mum who can feel your judgemental glare. I am the mum who sometimes feels like she isn’t coping at all. I am the mum who sometimes looks like she is letting her children run wild but is actually carefully selecting her battles. I am the mum who sometimes hurries home so she doesn’t cry in public. I am the mum who sometimes feels alone. Mine is the child who smothers me with kisses and cuddles. Mine is the child who tells me I’m the best mummy ever. Mine is the child who tells me they’re sorry they were naughty. Mine is the child who declares family time is the best time. Mine is the child who is still learning how life works. Mine is the child who makes my heart swell with pride simply by existing. I am the mum who forgets childhood is short and lets what others think bother her too much. I am the mum blessed with two beautiful, funny, clever, fiercely independent children. I am the mum lucky enough to snuggle up with her children and watch Mickey Mouse for the 50th time in a day. I am the mum who cries laughing at the funny things her children do. I am the mum who, probably, wouldn’t change a thing. Mine may be the  child who often behaves in ways I swore they never would but I am the mum who now realises that childhood isn’t for practising to be a grown up. Mine are also the children who can’t stand still long enough to have a photo taken together.

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]]> https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/12/sweet-child-o-mine/feed/ 0 1225 Lessons I have learned. Well, some of them. https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/05/lessons-sahm/ https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/05/lessons-sahm/#comments Mon, 05 Dec 2016 09:00:00 +0000 http://meanniebee.com/?p=1178 Six years ago I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of our first-born (she was late already) and the start of a new and exciting chapter to my life. The chapter where I become a stay at home mummy (or SAHM as we call it in the business). I’ve mentioned before I didn’t have a career and had I gone back to work I would have literally just been paying for childcare so it made sense to stay home. I couldn’t wait, it was going to be a piece of cake after all. Six years down the line I still love that I am home with my babies but I’ll admit being a SAHM is like finally getting invited to that party you really wanted to go to only to discover previous attendees embellished the truth and it wasn’t always as cool as suggested. Here is what I have learned.  It’s not all lattes, croissants and lunch dates. All your friends work so you’ve no one to meet up with besides, with not working comes not earning.  You accept yourself as a SAHM and deal with it but you consider yourself the exception, other SAHMs are terribly boring and talk about their children and dull stuff like that. People don’t really like to ask too many questions about how you are as you actually are a SAHM and your answers will be about your children and other terribly boring things like that. You feel you have to justify yourself a lot. “I’m lucky enough to be able to stay home with my children” or “I don’t work but I’m not claiming benefits paid for by you”. Firstly It’s not luck that I don’t have to work, Rory has worked bloody hard over the years to be able to make this happen and secondly there’s nothing wrong with claiming benefits anyway, I contributed for years before I stopped working.  It’s not all baking cakes. It can be but  that just leads to huge weight gain, type 2 diabetes and your taxes covering my healthcare. People forget you have other interests than children and so forget to talk to you like an educated individual with opinions outside of poo and Cbeebies. You forget yourself that your brain once did other stuff and forget that you’re an educated individual with opinions that some might consider valid or at the very least interesting. If someone asks what you’ve done with your day you struggle to come up with important sounding tasks. Somehow watching Masha and the Bear and keeping a small human alive doesn’t seem like a good enough answer. It’s really hard to exercise with a small person around, they hang off your leg and get in the way. It’s pretty lonely, your friends have jobs, their work wardrobe isn’t covered in snot or food and knowing they’re being treated as actual people makes you positively green with envy.  People think that because you don’t work you’ve got nothing to do and so can help out at everything. You don’t get a day off, life is like a portable office. ‘Crafting’ is so much messier than you ever imagined it could be. You stop caring that the floor needs hoovering.  Your five-year old is probably your best friend and you start to act like them. The idea of going back to work when littlest is at school is both exciting and really bloody scary. You realise you have absolutely no transferable skills, the knowledge you do have is well out of date and you probably SHOULD have got a career rather than a job before children. Even the shittest days are actually pretty fabulous when you have a glass of wine and think about it. You are one of the luckiest people you know because a lot of people would love to be in your position. The Tale of Mummyhood  

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]]> https://meanniebee.com/2016/12/05/lessons-sahm/feed/ 8 1178 Perfect Mother? https://meanniebee.com/2016/11/28/keep-it-real/ https://meanniebee.com/2016/11/28/keep-it-real/#respond Mon, 28 Nov 2016 01:45:09 +0000 http://meanniebee.com/?p=741 Recently I had the (mis)fortune to read a blog post about the Perfect Mother. I’m not going to link it but to loosely paraphrase, us ‘honest’ mummy bloggers need to pull ourselves together, make a from scratch Annabel Karmel meal for our perfectly scrubbed and dressed children and never complain. EVER. I didn’t agree with this post at all, in fact I found it a little irresponsible, but it did get me to thinking. What is our role as a parenting/mummy blogger? I am only just starting to feel comfortable labelling myself as a blogger. Until very recently I simply considered myself to be a woman with an opinion, wine and WiFi. I’m just not happy with labels  (I spent my whole time at art school denying I was a feminist artist when I clearly ticked the boxes) But, here I am, a blogger and more specifically a parenting/mummy blogger and, whether I like it or not I feel I may have some slight responsibility. I was never one for reading blogs, it was only once I became a parent they actually became a bit of a life line for me. I’d find myself in the middle of the night with an unsettled baby, an empty bank account thanks to Ebay ‘bargains’ and a lot of questions or self doubt as a new mum. So where did I turn? Why, your friend and mine Google of course. And, inevitably a click would link to a blog. If I was exhausted and feeling useless did I want to read ‘get dressed and stop being actively crap at your job’? NO! To my poor tired brain that read as ‘you’re a failure, you are letting your child down and probably everyone else around you including the cat….ESPECIALLY the cat’ What I wanted to read was the experiences of parents in similar situations. Parents telling me that they had really hard times but got over it. Telling about that one day the whole family had a pyjama day and no one suffered one little bit or that giving their child smiley faces for tea with a Fruit Shoot did not instantly result in type 2 diabetes. None of us went into parenting thinking it would be a piece of cake, we were all well prepared for the massive changes in our lives but maybe some of us weren’t entirely prepared for the mental and physical effect it would have on us, the stuff that people didn’t seem to talk about and so we look to the internet for answers. To see a post saying ‘you chose to be a parent, suck it up’ just isn’t helpful. And so I say to all the ‘honest’ mummy bloggers out there, keep being honest. Keep telling your tales of tantrums in Sainsburys (yours and theirs), play dates from hell and cake for tea (or a refined sugar free flapjack made in a moment of ‘supermum’ madness). Celebrate their survival and yours with a glass of wine once they’re in bed. If you’re like me you’ll assume no one is reading what you have to say but something you share just might make one very exhausted and overwhelmed new parent feel better about themselves and how they’re doing. CHEERS! This post first appeared on www.meetothermums.com

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]]> https://meanniebee.com/2016/11/28/keep-it-real/feed/ 0 741 All good things must come to an end https://meanniebee.com/2016/11/25/all-good-things-must-come-to-an-end/ https://meanniebee.com/2016/11/25/all-good-things-must-come-to-an-end/#comments Fri, 25 Nov 2016 17:06:13 +0000 http://meanniebee.com/?p=1069 And so, it is with a heavy heart that I have to announce the end of my 10 year relationship. It had it’s ups and downs. We had good times and bad. We’ve made dates, we’ve broken dates. We’ve shared good news with others and bad news too. We’ve been through so much together. We’d stopped making an effort. I wasn’t offered the same wonderful promises newer, younger, people were offered. It was my longest relationship and now it’s over…. I have broken up with my mobile phone company. So that’s it. Done. I know I instigated it but that doesn’t make it any less sad. Tonight I will drink the wine of sadness…. Tomorrow my newer, younger model will arrive 🙂

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]]> https://meanniebee.com/2016/11/25/all-good-things-must-come-to-an-end/feed/ 4 1069 Hey Wills, you’re not alone. https://meanniebee.com/2016/11/21/hey-wills-youre-not-alone/ https://meanniebee.com/2016/11/21/hey-wills-youre-not-alone/#respond Mon, 21 Nov 2016 12:21:28 +0000 http://meanniebee.com/?p=1015 Last week, during a visit to Vietnam,  Prince William admitted he struggled with parenthood. The internet was vicious! HOW VERY DARE HE? cried Twitter. “U don’t know meaning of struggle”* “This man has no idea what it means to struggle in life” *SLOW HAND CLAP* Well done the internet. You completely missed the point. I don’t for one minute believe that when William said he struggled he meant that he was strapped for cash or he was weighed down with laundry. He wasn’t admitting he found it a struggle because they need a new boiler but the kids need new shoes. He isn’t talking about a materialistic struggle. He is talking about a mental struggle. The one many of us go through when we question every little decision we make and action we take. When we second guess the impact the words we say will have on our children in years to come. The struggle of feeling like your wading through treacle rather than frolicking in leaves. The struggle of making decisions based on the impact it will have on a whole family unit rather than the impact it will have on yourself. The struggle of trying to encourage your children to be thankful, thoughtful, caring and kind little humans. It’s bloody hard work. The struggle of parenthood isn’t a working class/upper-class argument. It doesn’t matter how much money we have. It doesn’t matter how big or small a support network we have surrounding us. We can all find ourselves struggling for one reason or another. I’ve said it before, none of us go into parenthood thinking it will be a breeze but we can’t truly prepare for the impact on our lives whether it be our first, second or third (I assume). To sit behind a keyboard telling someone they aren’t allowed to declare parenting a struggle is a cop out. None of us have the right to decide that someone else can’t find things difficult because they have more money than us or a bigger house. It’s not for us to decide who is allowed to struggle and who isn’t. It’s also not for us to decide whose struggles are worse than others. It’s for us to support others who are struggling, if we can. Parenting levels the field. No matter how rich or poor  we are we’ve all been sicked on. We’ve all discovered that questionable mark on our top once we enter polite company. We’ve all had pasta thrown at us. We’ve all questioned whether it’s a freckle or a speck of shit on our arm Give the man a break. He may be heir to the throne but he’s still a parent like the rest of us and I applaud him for admitting this. Wills, if you’re reading this, if you ever need a chat about this whole family/parenting malarky just drop me a line. You, Catherine and the children can pop round for tea and a chat. *No one is actually going to take offence at something written by someone who can’t even be bothered to write the whole word ‘you’.

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