children Archives : Me, Annie Bee.

Fairytale Corner: The Princess and the Mum who thought too much.

Anna — Mon, 12 Nov 2018 19:45:51 +0000

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, lived a princess. Strictly speaking, she wasn’t ACTUALLY a princess. Her parents were not royalty, but she was a clever, sassy little girl who decided she was a princess. Who was anyone else to argue? One day, not long ago, the princess was giddy with excitement. She was going to attend a ball with all of her friends. A lot of planning and thought had gone into the evening and the princess had carefully selected her outfit and decided how she would wear her hair. It was going to be a joyous event. Now, the princess’ mother was not a wicked woman though she did, on occasion, make mistakes. She sometimes struggled in her attempt to help her daughter grow to be the strong, independent, free thinking woman she knew she would be. Having once been a young girl herself, she knew how hard it could be growing up and how mean other children could be. The mother was often conflicted, both wanting to protect her daughter whilst encouraging the princess to be whatever she wanted to be (even when she did play football in her brand new school shoes). Though she was a modest woman, she was quite proud to generally have the balance spot on. However, as she watched the princess excitedly plan the most beautiful princess dress for the occasion, the mother found herself getting a little anxious. The princess had been told before, how silly it was to be a princess – friends believed it was now time to be ‘girls’. The mother had visions of the princess arriving at the ball, full of excitement and delight only to have the girls laugh at her. The very thought broke the mother’s heart and so, she subtly went about changing the princess’s mind. The mother was not proud of her actions but her desire to protect her daughter from potentially feeling bad about herself was strong. The princess duly changed her mind and wore a lovely, but considerably less wonderful dress than she originally intended. The princess attended the ball dressed as a girl like many others. From the moment the princess left the house, the mother was riddled with guilt. She had always prided herself on encouraging the princess to be and do whatever she chose. She had always tried to teach her that it really didn’t matter what anyone else thought, the princess’ happiness came first and foremost. The mother firmly believed that her daughter could be anything she wanted to be and any other person trying to stop that had their own battles to fight. Yet there went the princess, going to the ball dressed as a normal girl, and her mother was solely to blame. Some of the other girls had decided that they were, in fact, princesses too and had dressed accordingly. The mother had failed the princess and was attacked by a vicious bout of Mumguilt. The princess thoroughly enjoyed the ball and didn’t think twice about what she was wearing – after all an outfit does not determine how wonderful an event will be or how genuine friends will treat you. The mother made a vow to never question the princess’ choices again. She would continue to encourage her to be the independent and sassy little girl she had always admired and endeavoured to support her no matter what until the end of time. They all lived happily ever after…until the princess was about 10 and hormones and stuff kicked in then they butted heads for the next 10 years. The End

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Reception class starter: A users guide.

Anna — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 18:10:49 +0000

Dear Teaching Staff, First of all, I would like to take this moment to congratulate you on your decision to become a co-carer of the Seth Version 1.0. I am sure you will be delighted with your new acquisition. Although the creators consider the Seth v.1.0 to be practically perfect, I am enclosing a users guide for this particular version. The Seth v.1.0 will be sent to you, fully charged, every morning. Unfortunately this particular version does run out of fuel quite quickly and by lunchtime may show signs of possible malfunction due to hunger. These signs can include a CBA attitude and a bit of a grump. This will be resolved instantly with food. Whilst we will send the Seth v.1.0 to you shiny and clean every day, we do not expect it returned in similar fashion. This device is adept at seeking out muck in the cleanest of places and so will become tarnished at the first given opportunity. This version of the Seth is fitted with a fully functioning language chip. We have set this to ‘English’ as a primary language and it generally works well. We have noticed, however, that at times of excitement/annoyance this chip can default to ‘gibberish’. If this happens, a soft reset* should fix it straight away. The Seth v.1.0 was also designed with a ‘mimic’ function (though neither creator is taking credit for this). After four and a half years of study, even our experts aren’t entirely sure how it works, it seems to be activated when the Seth v.1.0 is being corrected or is in ‘humour’ mode. Unfortunately, surrounding devices may not be in ‘humour’ mode at the same time and it can trigger annoyance in other devices. The vast knowledge of our experts has determined that staying silent is the only way to disable the mimic function – any research you undertake regarding this would be received with interest. Like many similar models, the Seth comes complete with opposable thumbs and is capable of the ‘tripod’ grip required for writing, however it will default from ‘write’ to ‘scribble’. If a moment of letter forming does happen to occur, the unit will rectify this by putting itself into ‘scribble’ mode and remove the perfectly formed letter. This model of the Seth has been designed to interact and be compatible with other similar devices, and is largely successful when in this mode. There are rare occasions where this feature will falter and ‘warning’ noises will be emitted from the device, usually if a similar device doesn’t want to pair. Again, a soft reset* will usually rectify this immediately. The unit comes with three physical speeds – ‘Snail pace’, ‘normal’ and ‘train’. For reasons unknown, the unit is often stuck in ‘train’, unless of course you need to manoeuvre it at speed when it will quickly put itself into ‘snail pace‘ mode. ‘Normal’ is rarely used. On the plus side, this version of the Seth will never be able to sneak up on you. At times the Seth v.1.0 can become quite tactile offering hugs and words of encouragement. Unfortunately, as speed is often set to ‘train’ a hug can often be mistaken for a rugby tackle. As primary creator and receiver of such hugs, I can assure you it is meant in the kindest possible way. The words of encouragement often include “You’re the best….ever”, “Just be brave” and “You can do it”. The Seth v.1.0 comes with two volume settings – ‘asleep’ and ‘loud’. As the recharging of the unit will be done at home, you will mostly experience use in the ‘loud’ setting. For reasons unknown, a volume control was not included with this version. I can only apologise for that and assure you that the designer for that function was duly reprimanded. Despite the possible glitches outlined that may occur with the Seth v.1.0 we have decided that this version will remain the only one. We are sure that you will enjoy your daily interactions with him as much as we do. You can do it! *A soft reset is performed by removing the Seth v.1.0 from the situation causing the malfunction and bringing a train/vehicle/other exciting object into view.

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Mums Go Wild aka Mums Night Out!

Anna — Mon, 14 May 2018 13:12:57 +0000

One of the biggest events in any Mum’s diary is Mums Night Out (just mine? Oh OK). You know the one, it used to be called Girls Night Out and then you had children and it took on a slightly different dimension. Mums Night Out provides the opportunity for you and your mum friends to let your hair down, try to grab back a bit of the person you once were. A nod back to your young and more debauched days. It’s doesn’t happen as often as you’d like but when it does it’s an absolute BLAST. It also follows a very similar timetable up and down the land… Mums Night Out 7pm Mums Night Out always starts on time. The Mums arrive eyes shining with delight and slightly flushed. Part caused by excitement and part caused by shoving the kids towards an appropriate adult while sprinting out of the door. There will be a LOT of navy and white stripes. I’ve no idea why Mums veer toward that nautical look but it happens to us all. 7.05pm Time for a second drink, The first has been necked as if they expect it to be whisked from their hand or, worse still, SHARED. Underneath their chosen table will resemble the hold of a plane. Oversized handbags full of wet wipes, snacks, toys and spare socks. 7.30pm After a frantic texting session, one Mum realises she’s fighting a lost cause. Her face will be etched with despair as she realises it’s all going down at home and this wasn’t to be her night. She downs the rest of her Merlot and bids a sad farewell. 7.45pm By now, the empties on the table suggest a group twice the size – more ‘Rugby Lads on Tour’ than Mums night out. Conversation has moved on to inappropriate letching and the objectification of men, namely Mr Bloom, Mister Maker, Dr Ranj and whomever may have read the Cbeebies bedtime story recently. There will be at least one declaration of ‘he can read me a bedtime story any time‘. Josh Homme, I’m looking at you… *sultry wink that looks more like I’ve got something in my eye* 8.00pm The fast flowing beverages and previous conversation lead to absolute hysterics and actuLOLing. This in turn leads to a look of panic and 75% of the group rushing to the toilet and cursing their weak pelvic floors. 8.15pm The group has naturally divided into two. Those who can’t stop talking about their children/school/being a mum and those who have started to forget they even have children. Then the inevitable happens, shots are suggested. Hold onto your hats, things are going to get lairy. 8.30pm A Sambucca or two leads to animated conversations about nights out in the BC years. Reminiscing about pubs and clubs that are probably closed now. Upon realising that they all attended the same club nights in town back in the day they talk about the chances that paths could have crossed ten years ago and yet it was birthing humans that bought this group together rather than shared interests and being cool. Then it happens, those words are uttered… “Let’s head into town tonight, make a night of it! It’ll be absolutely immense” “Yes! Let’s make a night of it!” 9.15pm After a fair amount of Googling to see where the cool kids go these days and a bit of discussion, going into town is put on the back burner. After all, it is Wednesday and the kids still need taking to school in the morning. The youngest won’t nap whilst you’re hanging and Lord KNOWS life as a parent is tough enough without throwing an old school hangover into the mix. In fact it’s getting quite late already so we should probably be heading home now. Next time though. Without a doubt. 9.30pm Drinks are finished off, oversized bags are retrieved and Ubers are summoned. Everyone has had the best night and decide Mums Night Out really must be a regular thing, just not the last Wednesday of the month or the one when the PTA happens. And maybe not Friday or Saturday because, that’s the weekend. And Tuesdays and Thursdays are no good but YES! A plan will be made. 10pm Pizza has been consumed, leftovers are in the kitchen ready to announce your crime to your family and remind you of your midweek drunken shame. Make up is removed and it is bedtime. You give yourself a congratulatory high-five for being able to have a top night out AND be in bed for your usual time. For once you’re winning at adulting. Now for a good 8 hours before the smalls wake up, if only the bed would stop spinning….

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Sorry seems to be the hardest word – or not.

Anna — Fri, 23 Feb 2018 11:45:48 +0000

Sorry – Feeling regret or penitence. Sorry. It’s a funny word isn’t it? Five little letters that some folk find harder to say than Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Others say it far to often, so much so that it quickly loses all meaning. Seth falls into the latter category. He must say sorry about 100 times a day. I have no problem with him apologising but he just doesn’t have a clue what it means. He will bump his head. “Sorry” “No, you don’t need to apologise for bumping your head”. Someone will get hurt accidentally or growled at. “Sorry” “That’s OK, it was an accident. Thank you for apologising” He’ll enter a room looking sheepish after drawing on the floor. “Sorry” “What have you done?” “But sorry” “Why are you sorry though?” “I SAID I’M SORRY” “OK, please tell me what you did!” Standing in front of the TV about to hit it with his hammer “Sorry” *Hammers the screen* “No, that’s not an acceptable sorry. A preemptive apology doesn’t give you permission to go ahead and hammer the TV” He will be screaming/having a tantrum/throwing things. “Sorry” “So stop doing that” *Continues with generally crappy behaviour* “But I said sorry” “I know but you’re still doing it so you’re not sorry” We try to explain what sorry means but he just doesn’t get it and if we don’t accept his apology then, well, things get ‘tense’. “BUT I SAID SORRY!” “IF. YOU. WERE. SORRY. YOU. WOULDN’T. STILL. BE. DOING. IT!” “SORRY THOUGH, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY” “Oh ffs. OK, you’re sorry!” I know that’s not the ideal way to deal with it but it really isn’t worth having a three year old right up in my face screaming sorry until I forgive him. So, how do we deal with this? How do you get a small human to say sorry, understand what it means and actually mean it? Am I raising a sociopath? Should I just abandon all hope? An interesting note here As I was typing this post Seth stood in front of me, looked me dead in the eye and stood on my foot. “Sorry, that was an accident” He said at exactly the moment his foot pressed down on mine. Ummm no son, I don’t believe it was!

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How to entertain kids at half term

Anna — Thu, 15 Feb 2018 12:57:51 +0000

It’s that time again…Half term is here. If you’re not knee deep in it now, you will be next week. Sorry. We’ve all got to do it. I have written before about how bloody awful I am at half term but the February one is my weakest. The weather is terrible, I’m still skint from Christmas and it’s just all very grey and bleak. I struggle to be motivated. I’m sure I’m not the only parent in this position so I’m going to do you a favour and share with you my suggestions for entertaining the kids this half term! You’re most welcome. Playdough My children are ALWAYS asking to play with their playdough, I normally think of a thousand reasons they can’t. By half term I give in and am SURE they’ll play for hours given their previous desperation. They get out the ten tubs of doughy delight and get creative. Within minutes all colours are swiftly mixed together and firmly trodden into the carpet. There are utterances of dismay because you can’t seperate the blue from the white and then they are bored. Home Cinema You will suggest the new DVD purchased for just this very situation. Your vote will be vetoed and after 20 minutes of bickering they will agree on that film that they watch EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. You’ll grab the popcorn, make sure everyone has a drink, close the curtains and turn out the light. The kids will eat the popcorn in a fashion that suggests they’ve not eaten in a week and are unsure as to where their next meal is coming from. The popcorn is gone and so are they. You realise you’re watching the film, in the dark. Alone. Leaving the house Don’t get ahead of yourself here, nothing exciting, just a trip to the shop. If you’re lucky, you’ll have Pets At Home around the corner for a ‘cheap zoo’ trip. You then pop to the supermarket for the necessities. The children will come over all demanding. They will pick up anything remotely breakable and will swing from you like you’re some human Maypole. They will loudly proclaim their annoyance that you won’t buy them the thing they want and one will refuse to walk. You pay for your wine and head back home. Big Colouring Clever you, putting the left over rolls of wallpaper to good use! Not only creating a fun activity they can do together but being resourceful. Big pat on the back for you parent! The eldest will create an immaculate masterpiece at one end, the youngest will grab the black pen and create something that makes you wonder if you should keep hold of it for future therapy sessions. He will then make his way along to the other end where he will proceed to use his black pen to ‘amend’ the eldests masterpiece. Tears in abundance. Baking A real fun half term activity! They will put on their aprons and be really eager to help you. They will completely disregard the fact that baking is a precise science and all measurements will be slightly out. There will be egg shell in the mixture and you all know they’re only in it so they can lick the beaters clean at the end. You will turn the beaters off. YOU WILL. Crafting You will inevitably have a wobble, you’ll doubt your ability as a good parent and so you’ll bring out the big guns. Crafting. You’ll choose an age appropriate project and meticulously sort tiny pompoms and googly eyes into piles. After cutting out shapes and prepare paints you’ll sit down and show them EXACTLY what to do. They will ignore all instruction and advice. They’ll glue pompoms to their hands and glitter to your table, declare themselves bored and leave you to tidy up. Funducation A bit of education in the school holidays is always good for that parenting ego. I find learning to tell the time is the easiest lesson to teach. “What time is it?” “Is it lunchtime yet?” “How long until lunchtime?” “What time is it now?” “When is dinner?” “Has it been an hour yet?” All of these questions can be used to encourage your child to look at the bloody numbers on the clock and realise that if the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 9 it really is far too early for lunch. It will also help you with your mental agility in working out that it’s only 10 hours until wine o’clock. If done correctly, you should find that these activities will keep your child busy until approximately 11.30am, Monday. You’re on your own after that I’m afraid. Pass the wine.

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If you can’t be kind, be offline.

Anna — Wed, 17 Jan 2018 18:21:09 +0000

As a blogger I spend a lot of time in the internet, most specifically social media. A lot of time is spent moving in the same virtual circles as other bloggers. I’m aware that it’s a very curious world I frequent. One where I’ve debated with strangers in 140 characters or less. Where opportunities have been found. A strange world where I’ve made ‘friends’ with people I’ve never met. These are people I have happened across for a variety of reasons. Some because we have a similar sense of humour. Others because we have similar interests but most because we share a love of writing and put a lot of time and effort into getting our stuff out there. The thing with the internet is that, in order to not go crazy, you must take someone at face value. You must assume they are as decent as they would lead you to believe. I’ve actually been really lucky in that some of the ‘friends’ I’ve met online, I’ve met in the real world and they are still that great people who I am pleased to call friends. Alas, I’ve also encountered a fair few twats along the way. There are those who are snide, they will tweet you and tell you how great you are whilst simultaneously messaging someone else to point out what an idiot you are. Then there are those who thrive on calling people out, belittling and humiliating people. They attempt to be constantly controversial and getting swept up in stuff (that frankly is none of their business) for clicks, likes and popularity. “But Anna” I hear you cry “this goes on in all walks of life. It is not blogger specific”. You are indeed right dear reader. It does go on all over life BUT when you consider that my blog ‘niche’ is parenting and most of those loitering in my virtual circles are parents. Well, it makes me a bit sad. Some of us blog as a hobby, others of us blog as our job. We live in a hope that we can work from home and make enough money to look after our families. At a time when we should be supporting one another as parents, patting each other on the back and celebrating each others achievements there seems to be more interest in dragging one another down and putting people in their place. Trying, essentially, to ruin the joy someone takes in writing or, indeed, their income. When did this become OK? If we as ‘professional’ adults, with heads full of knowledge and common sense are hiding behind keyboards ‘telling it as it is’, ‘putting it out there’ and ‘setting people straight’, seemingly out of jealousy, what hope is there for our children? WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN! We are bringing up our children in a very different world to the one we grew up in. A world where the internet rules. It’s a world were people don’t bother letting facts get in the way of the chance to wield their virtual pitchforks and start baying at strangers because, well, everyone else is. The internet is an astounding invention, a world of information is now at our fingertips yet it has resulted in a backward step for people socially. People give in to peer pressure more than they would in real life, people congregate in mobs because they don’t want to feel the wrath of the next rant. It’s very much like school, be friends with the bully so you’re not the bullied. At least, when we were younger we were largely untouchable if we were within our own four walls. Home was a safe place. Generally speaking, no matter how awful things were at school or even work, it couldn’t get to you at home. Now, the internet ensures that even in a safe home environment, kids can still be subject to other kids ‘telling it how it is’. Last week I discovered, via the child of a friend, that there are even websites to “help you in discovering your strengths and areas for improvement by receiving honest feedback from your employees and your friends in a private manner” Or in that particular situation… Enable children to tell other children that everybody hates them and they should kill themselves. Seriously. We have all read about how things like this are going on more and more amongst children via social media. We shake our heads in despair and ask why children think they have the right to be so cruel online. Why do they think they can get away with hiding behind a keyboard saying mean things about others. Bullying is bullying after all! Then we quickly compose a tweet announcing how ridiculous that woman from that show is for calling her baby Zeus. Obviously we tag her in the tweet so she knows our unwanted opinion, heck maybe we’ll start a hashtag too. Whilst we might not be online issuing death threats to others, we are online #justsaying and making snide remarks. We are back stabbing and belittling others. We are occasionally being bloody awful. Then we question why children are treating one another in exactly that same way online. If we display this behaviour online, we can’t be surprised when our Little Angel starts rallying the masses to pick on Jonas because he doesn’t like football or something. We need to teach our children that just because we can’t see someone, it doesn’t mean our words won’t hurt them. They need to know that creating a mob, spreading gossip and name calling can have an effect not only on the stranger you’ve decided you don’t like, but at times their family and friends too. Ultimately we can’t expect our children to be decent online citizens if we don’t lead by example.

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Weekly Winedown #28 Beefsteak Club Malbec

Anna — Fri, 15 Dec 2017 19:18:41 +0000

Welcome to the Weekly Winedown. Each week I selflessly drink wine for you and offer a review. Please don’t expect anything professional, I consume a lot of wine but I’m no pro. The only real ‘rule’ I’m putting in place is that the wine is to be under £8 a bottle. #keepitclassy. Dear reader, I need a break. A break from everything. Not death – nothing that permanent. Just a day or so to breathe. A day where I don’t have to be at a certain place by a certain time. Where I don’t have to remember to feed a small person regularly (three times a day – what’s that about?). Just 24 hours without someone trying to pull up my dress, get in my pockets or honk my boob. Time without children sitting as on top of me as anyone could possibly sit. I’d like a day with pockets of silence, to be able to walk without being dragged in two different directions. To be able to start and finish a task without constant interruptions and forgetting what I was doing in the first place. I imagine sitting without being kicked in the face or shouted at for TV scheduling. A whole night of sleep. To dream the impossible dream! Instead I have Beefsteak Club Malbec, an Argentinian red on offer at £6.49. The Label Red, white and black. We all know I love that. The text looks like it’s been stamped on with wooden blocks and there is a picture of a bull. There’s also a little tale about the beginnings of the Beefsteak Club. It was established in 1705 don’t you know? Well you do now. As labels go, this is unoffensive. The Blurb “A bright, fresh Malbec made from high altitude grapes of Mendoza. Vibrant aromas of crunchy red fruits and plum with a lightly spice finished. Well balanced and smooth with soft tannins to perfectly complement a juicy steak.” WTF is a crunchy red fruit? I have wracked my brain (granted there’s not a lot to wrack) and I’ll be damned if I can think of a crunchy fruit. Do you know of any? I can’t get away from the idea of that weird freeze dried fruit you get in cereal. Interesting. The nose (oh yes) is nice, like rich dark chocolate. The really dark stuff that you can only have one piece of. It was a fruitier palate, than I expected but a decent depth of flavour too. The finish was kind of licorice/oaky/woody. Lightly spiced and quite pleasant. This Malbec is a good all rounder and I can imagine is DOES go well with steak. I have no steak. Tonight Rory is out so I am having my Christmas ‘Do’. As a SAHM, my Christmas do is me drinking wine at home, alone, watching Elf. Actually not entirely alone. It’s a synchronised Elf watch. I am so hardcore. At least my wine is good. Name – Beefsteak Club Malbec. Price – £6.49 Colour – Rich red Smell – Subtle chocolatey Taste – Fruity with a woody finish Goes well with – Steak, apparently Overall score – 3.5/5

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You can’t win them all. Reasoning with a six year old.

Anna — Tue, 17 Oct 2017 13:06:53 +0000

I love Aoife. It goes without saying. She is the apple of my eye. She is beautiful, clever, funny and caring. Although she has her wobbles, she knows her mind and isn’t afraid to do what she wants to do. She makes me proud every day but bloody hell she can be difficult. When she was three, she’d been particularly naughty. I told her that there would be no Peppa, no Cbeebies, no films and no treats Nothing. We were on lock down. “Will I have breakfast? “Yes” “Will I have lunch?” “Yes, you’ll have your meals” “Will I have fruit shoot?” “No, that’s a treat” “Will I have water?” “Yes” “So. I’ll have my food and water?” “Yes” Pause “OK, that’s fine” “WELL NO, IT ISN’T FINE ACTUALLY!!” Once she realised that I couldn’t take away her basic human rights, she decided she could do pretty much what she wanted. There have been times in the past when I have been able to successfully use bribery a reward system to encourage good behaviour but those times have long gone. Last year, after weeks of her playing up at bedtime and waking everyone during the night repeatedly, I went for the big one. “Your behaviour is quite selfish, everyone is exhausted because you keep yelling through the night. You’re misbehaving because your tired. If we can’t get X ticks by this date then I’m afraid we will have to cancel your birthday party”. Yeah, I went there. I was exhausted and stressed. It was really taking it’s toll on me, I even cried to her teacher. I had to bring out the big guns or start daytime drinking. It was Aoife or me. To be honest, in my exhaustion I really, REALLY thought the threat would work. I thought she cared enough that she would try to behave. I was entirely wrong. The birthday party was cancelled. Judge away. I felt terrible, like the worst mum ever BUT I had to do it. I had to show that I meant what I said. She had to learn that if we are frickin’ horrible all the time, we don’t get nice things. “You BEAST! How did she react?” I hear you cry. Well, I showed her the chart and I broke the news that no party would be happening… “That’s OK, I’ll have a nice family birthday with just us four. It’ll be great”. I was flummoxed! It was like a smack in the face. Where do I go from there? I don’t know if it’s her personality or if it’s because she is a clever little girl and her reason makes sense to her. Maybe it’s just a six year old thing and your six year old is exactly the same – I hope your six year old is the same. Whatever it is, it makes me despair. While I absolutely want her to know her mind, to say what she feels, to be strong and independent. I also want her to give a damn and be a decent, compassionate and nice person. This morning she went from ray of sunlight to satan incarnate in 30 seconds. She decided she wasn’t going to get ready for school. We tried reasoning, asking, telling and shouting. All was met with the eye rolling of a pro and backchat a teenager would be proud of “You can’t tell me what to do, it’s MY choice not yours”. “If you carry on like this, you’re not going to be able to go to Grandma’s” “I don’t care, I don’t even want to go to Grandma’s, I’ll stay here and play” (Yes she does want to come Grandma) “Err, if you stay here there’ll be no playing” “I’ll watch TV then” “There will certainly be no TV!” “Well what will I do then?” “Just really boring stuff” (not my best response but it was early and I was unprepared) “I think playing games is REALLY boring” WTactualF? One thing you hear many parents say is ‘Pick your battles – you can’t win them all’. What the hell do you do when your opponent is a clever 6 year old full of sass and reason? I don’t think I’ve won any of my battles and I can’t see it happening any time soon!

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Technology at the dinner table.

Anna — Mon, 02 Oct 2017 12:49:32 +0000

“My child is not going to have electrical devices at the dinner table” We’ve all been there right? Sitting in a pub or restaurant with our small bundle of delight who is more than happy with cuddles and maybe a rattle. Across the way we see a four year old, head firmly in a phone or tablet and we put our judgey pants on. Fast forward three years and it’s your child sat there with the technology in his little mitts whilst someone over there puts their judgey pants on. Aoife was always happy with a book or some colouring so tech at the table wasn’t an issue with her. If we are having an impromptu meal out she is happy to sit and chat or play eye-spy. Seth on the other hand. Well. If we’re prepared he will play with his vehicles or whatever but if we have forgotten his trucks he will not sit still. He doesn’t do conversation or games, he will climb all over the place, try to get away and refuse to sit nicely. Unless a phone comes out. It used to be that looking at photos was enough to placate him but not any more. Now it has to be YouTube or Cbeebies. I am torn because on the one hand if it keeps the child from getting bored so they don’t disturb others then fine. Should it be the automatic go to? If the child is old enough to reason with then shouldn’t we be aiming for conversation? I still hold the romantic notion that meal time is sacred family time. A time to sit down with no distractions and catch up, talk about what’s going on in our lives and for us, a meal at home is just that. A meal out holds slightly different rules though. It’s still a lovely time to catch up but other people are sharing your space and deserve to have a meal in peace too. If letting your child play on a phone until the meal arrives ensures that they aren’t running around causing mayhem then that’s OK. Isn’t it? What about when they child is old enough to know better? Old enough to sit and have conversation without kicking off because they are bored? Should technology at the table be OK then? When Rory and I were in London a few weeks ago, we were in a restaurant and a family walked in. Mum, Dad and daughters who were maybe 12-14. They all sat at their table. The dad then went to sit at a different table. He was face timing or something and ate his meal away from his family. At the table the Mum was on her phone with her headphones in and checking out Facebook and the two girls were on their phones. Their meal arrived. They didn’t put their phones down to eat. They ate with one hand and held their phones with the other. Watching one of them trying to eat a BBQ chicken wing propped on a fork was a delight. I was mildly impressed at the skills. The only speaking was one daughter showing the other something on her phone. It seemed really sad that having gone out to enjoy a meal as a family they may as well have all gone out separately. *Grandma alert* We didn’t have this issue when I was a child. Is that because the mobile phone hadn’t been invented or because we weren’t taken out to eat as much? Did we just behave better in the olden days? I can’t decide if my issue is more with technology at the dinner table or the lost art of communication at meal time. Has one led directly to the other? Obviously taking photos to Instagram our meals isn’t included in this debate…

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Starting preschool.

Anna — Mon, 18 Sep 2017 10:40:36 +0000

Back in March we attended the open day at Seth’s preschool to be. At the time it made me sad thinking about my little boy growing up. Now here we are, six months on. Seth started preschool today. When Aoife was at preschool I was pregnant with Seth, walking up and down that sodding mountain to drop her off and pick her up whilst lugging my great, big bump along with me. Now, three and a bit years on I’ll be walking that very human I was growing, up and down that hill. Seth still doesn’t feel old enough to be starting preschool. He can’t quite do his shoes yet. His words are still a little jumbled when he’s excited. He can’t be bothered/gets to engrossed to take himself to the toilet. Listening hasn’t made it quite onto his ‘skills’ list yet. And sometimes shoving seems more persuasive than asking… Before taking Seth, we had to drop Aoife at school. When the bell went I called her over to give her a kiss before she stood in line…! I got her forehead! My goodbye kiss was denied. I can’t handle this level of rejection today. We then pootled of to preschool. We swapped shoes for pumps. Put the money in the piggy and the water on the shelf. Seth took his name card to his teacher and wandered into the classroom. I called him back to kiss him goodbye. He offered his forehead! Why do you cast me aside today? OF ALL THE DAYS WHY TODAY? Today is the beginning of the end. The start of my smallest not needing me quite so much. The start of him turning to other grown ups in a moment of need or upset. Today is the start of me feeling not quite so important anymore. Not just as a mum but as a person. See for six years I’ve been a stay at home mum, it’s been tough but I’ve loved it. I’ve felt I’ve had to justify myself a LOT over that time but it was OK because I could. I was looking after my children. Now, for two and a half days a week I’m not a stay at home mum. I’m just, well, nothing. I am redundant. I’m just a woman with outdated skills waiting for 3pm so I can start being a mum again. I do intend to use this time to work on my blog (yet another area I feel I have to justify a lot) so I can free up evenings. I hope to be able to better my skills so I can earn some money. But right now, sitting here in the silence with no one demanding brioche. I just feel useless. Entirely useless, with no purpose and contributing nothing to, well, anything. I’ve been dreading this day for a while now, selfishly hoping it wouldn’t come. I’m sad my babies are gone, I have children now. They’ve entered the education system where other adults, who’s every word they will hang on, will see them more than me. I’m no longer the most important person in their life, the font of all knowledge (whether fact or otherwise). I’m also sad because at this very moment I feel I have no purpose. It’s the start of a new chapter. Not just for them but for me and it scares the shit out of me. I’ll be totally over it once they’re both home.

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