It’s that time again…Half term is here.
If you’re not knee deep in it now, you will be next week.
We’ve all got to do it.
I have written before about how bloody awful I am at half term but the February one is my weakest.
The weather is terrible, I’m still skint from Christmas and it’s just all very grey and bleak.
I struggle to be motivated.
I’m sure I’m not the only parent in this position so I’m going to do you a favour and share with you my suggestions for entertaining the kids this half term!
You’re most welcome.
My children are ALWAYS asking to play with their playdough, I normally think of a thousand reasons they can’t. By half term I give in and am SURE they’ll play for hours given their previous desperation.
They get out the ten tubs of doughy delight and get creative. Within minutes all colours are swiftly mixed together and firmly trodden into the carpet.
There are utterances of dismay because you can’t seperate the blue from the white and then they are bored.
You will suggest the new DVD purchased for just this very situation. Your vote will be vetoed and after 20 minutes of bickering they will agree on that film that they watch EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
You’ll grab the popcorn, make sure everyone has a drink, close the curtains and turn out the light.
The kids will eat the popcorn in a fashion that suggests they’ve not eaten in a week and are unsure as to where their next meal is coming from.
The popcorn is gone and so are they. You realise you’re watching the film, in the dark.
Leaving the house
Don’t get ahead of yourself here, nothing exciting, just a trip to the shop. If you’re lucky, you’ll have Pets At Home around the corner for a ‘cheap zoo’ trip. You then pop to the supermarket for the necessities. The children will come over all demanding. They will pick up anything remotely breakable and will swing from you like you’re some human Maypole. They will loudly proclaim their annoyance that you won’t buy them the thing they want and one will refuse to walk.
You pay for your wine and head back home.
Clever you, putting the left over rolls of wallpaper to good use!
Not only creating a fun activity they can do together but being resourceful. Big pat on the back for you parent!
The eldest will create an immaculate masterpiece at one end, the youngest will grab the black pen and create something that makes you wonder if you should keep hold of it for future therapy sessions.
He will then make his way along to the other end where he will proceed to use his black pen to ‘amend’ the eldests masterpiece.
Tears in abundance.
A real fun half term activity! They will put on their aprons and be really eager to help you. They will completely disregard the fact that baking is a precise science and all measurements will be slightly out. There will be egg shell in the mixture and you all know they’re only in it so they can lick the beaters clean at the end.
You will turn the beaters off.
You will inevitably have a wobble, you’ll doubt your ability as a good parent and so you’ll bring out the big guns.
You’ll choose an age appropriate project and meticulously sort tiny pompoms and googly eyes into piles. After cutting out shapes and prepare paints you’ll sit down and show them EXACTLY what to do. They will ignore all instruction and advice. They’ll glue pompoms to their hands and glitter to your table, declare themselves bored and leave you to tidy up.
A bit of education in the school holidays is always good for that parenting ego. I find learning to tell the time is the easiest lesson to teach.
“What time is it?” “Is it lunchtime yet?” “How long until lunchtime?” “What time is it now?” “When is dinner?” “Has it been an hour yet?”
All of these questions can be used to encourage your child to look at the bloody numbers on the clock and realise that if the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 9 it really is far too early for lunch. It will also help you with your mental agility in working out that it’s only 10 hours until wine o’clock.
If done correctly, you should find that these activities will keep your child busy until approximately 11.30am, Monday.
You’re on your own after that I’m afraid.
Pass the wine.