Parenting Archives : Me, Annie Bee.

Help Your Kids Get to Sleep with these Top Tips

Anna — Wed, 02 Sep 2020 14:28:21 +0000

This is a collaboration. Many kids struggle to get to sleep. Kids can be anxious about all kinds of things. They might be afraid of the dark, worried about wetting the bed or dreading a reoccurring nightmare. As a parent, it can be stressful trying to get your kids to go to sleep. Every evening feels like an ordeal even though you know how tired they are. While there is no easy answer, here are a few tips that will help. Atmosphere We all need the right atmosphere to get to sleep at night. Even us adults might struggle to sleep in a messy or cluttered bedroom, so make sure that your child’s room is tidy before they go to bed. If your child is afraid of the dark, it can help to give them a night light, or to keep the room slightly lit (check out different options on the LED Hut website). You could also try using a lavender diffuser or room spray, as the scent is known to promote sleep. Turn off electronic devices In our modern world, kids use electronic devices regularly. You might have a family tablet that they use to play games, or they might watch Netflix before bed. While there’s nothing wrong with this, it’s important to encourage your kids to switch off devices at least two hours before bedtime. Research has shown that electronic devices can supress the release of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin, making it more difficult to fall asleep. A regular routine Kids need stability, and that means a regular bedtime routine. They won’t get to sleep quickly if they’re going to bed at different times every night. So, give them a bedtime and stick to it. If they’re arguing about going to bed too early, reward them for good behaviour and push their bedtime back if they can prove they respect the time you give them. This will encourage them to be more positive about going to bed at a certain time every night. Food and drink We all know how difficult it can be to drift off to sleep after a large, calorific meal. This is no different for kids. So, make sure they don’t eat anything too close to bedtime. Their stomach digesting could disrupt their sleep and stop them from drifting off. However, many parents do believe in a soothing drink before bedtime, like milk. This is because dairy products have plenty of tryptophan in them, which can induce drowsiness. Help alleviate fears If anxiety is stopping your child from drifting off, it’s important to try to help them process their feelings and alleviate any fears. Talk to them about what they’re worried about and help them to feel safe. This might mean checking the wardrobes and under the bed for any “monsters” and showing them that they aren’t real. It’s also important to try to keep bedtime upbeat and fun, instead of making it feel like a daunting chore.

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How to survive Lockdown – or not.

Anna — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 14:09:30 +0000

This lockdown is a bag of mixed bag isn’t it? For the most part I quite enjoy it. I love that we have no unexpected visitors, no one trying to sign me up to one charity or another. I can keep in touch with the people I like from afar without expectation and I get to avoid all the daily playground politics. We mostly get on wonderfully and I love this little pocket of ‘us’ in the universe. Every now and then though I find myself so completely overwhelmed by the whole situation, I’m just not coping with this change. It’s not so much the kids and Rory being around, I love that. It’s that I can’t get a minute to myself -not one – and I’m sure I’m not alone in this. I imagine in households up and down the land there is one or other person feeling the exact same way as me but I can only speak from my experience. Rory has the luxury of working upstairs, obviously the working aspect is no fun but he gets to do it upstairs. Alone. I stay downstairs with the kids who decide they prefer life with structure and a bit of learning. I’ll be honest, I went into this with the aim of them staying on top of their work, having a routine and using their brains. This aim has now been paired back to ‘surviving the day’. Initially I found myself envying those social media mums who were bossing it – undertaking a different daily art project while building a fully functioning lab in their living room where their kids would use any downtime to find a cure for Coronavirus. If that works for them then GREAT, however I realise I am not in a position to teach my kids anything. Instead I try to keep them busy enough that: They feel mentally stimulated. I feel less guilt. They don’t start arguing about who stared at who. Doing any work isn’t even an option for me, if my laptop isn’t being used for ‘educational reasons’ it’s being used to stream Disney+ (yes, we caved) I sometimes I find myself starting to get jealous when I hear Rory on work phone calls. Talking to other ‘not in this house’ people who don’t demand food at regular intervals. Normally I am so very OK with not talking to people, I can happily avoid people for days but now I’m jealous. Don’t get me wrong, I am spoken at a lot during the day. A LOT. I am told to listen and to watch. I have to endure jokes and fact and tales told about one another. If I appear to be paying less than 100% attention I am tapped until my full and focused attention is there. I find myself completely overwhelmed, it’s like I can’t breathe and I can’t get away. We’re currently still allowed to exercise once a day. Rory will go for a nice long run whereas my daily exercise is a walk – with the kids. There’s no scope for a daydream or chance to let my thoughts just run away for a while. There’s no pausing to listen to birdsong, my exercise time is spent doing laps of the green hearing my kids yell at me to watch which lap they’re on now. When Rory comes down for lunch he sends me upstairs for half hour which is lovely and much appreciated but I’m constantly aware the longer he is downstairs the later he will have to work into the evening and the longer I’ll be alone with the kids. It really doesn’t help that all this is occurring while I’m officially still recovering from my hip replacement. I feel like I’ve been in lock down for 8 weeks already. I am still dependent on people, I can’t do face to face post op meetings which is a little weird. I have one chair I’m allowed to sit on, I still rely on people to pick things up for me. I can’t even curl up on the couch and get comfy when I’m feeling overwhelmed, instead I have to do it in a high backed chair generally with the kids around. I try to set up all the activities they ask for – painting/internet/a film in a hope for half an hour’s peace but no. There’s always an element of Anna participation required whether it’s cleaning spilled paint, needing to be an extra player in a game or just refereeing round four of the classic ‘He’s too close but she’s in my spot’. I absolutely love and adore my kids and before you say it ‘Barbara’, I know I’m lucky to have them. I know these times are short lived and that they’re only young for a small amount of time. No doubt I WILL be yearning for these days in years to come but that doesn’t make my NOW easier. That doesn’t give me the space to breathe now. That little gem of wisdom doesn’t give me the opportunity to take five minutes to clear my head and be the best mum I can be for them now. The funny thing is, I do have more fantastic days then I do overwhelmed days but it’s the latter that feel most prominent and I’m sure that many of you can relate – unless you’re the one with the lab in front of your couch. We just need to remind ourselves it WILL be over soon, we WILL get through it and our kids will still love us at the end of it all. Most importantly we must remember it’s OK to feel overwhelmed, it’s important to talk about it and it’s vital that you just do what works for you. We’ve totally got this.

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Are You OK? The simplest question we forget to ask.

Anna — Wed, 23 Oct 2019 13:55:59 +0000

There is rarely a week on the internet when I don’t see a post telling me what I can’t say to pregnant people or new mums – it’s a minefield. One thing I firmly believe we should always say to new mums is Are you OK? Royalist or not, you probably have an opinion on Harry and Meghan (note – “I don’t even care about Harry and Meghan” is actually an opinion). I personally take no issue with the Royal family, as a country we like to do pomp and parade and for as long as that’s ‘our thing’, the Royals will likely exist. But that is neither here nor there. As you are probably aware, Harry and Meghan have recently been the subject of a documentary and just last week, a small excerpt from that was shared on Twitter: “Not many people have asked if I’m ok … it’s a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes.” Meghan reveals to ITV’s @tombradby the intense media spotlight has left her struggling to cope while becoming a mum #HarryAndMeghan https://t.co/Uy21iE6ozJ pic.twitter.com/kZqhZV66OL — ITV News (@itvnews) October 18, 2019 I watched this short clip and I really felt for Meghan as, actress or not, she was clearly upset and no decent person would wish that upon anyone right? I went to investigate what Twitter had to say – turns out I was wrong… These are just a handful of the comments in response, none of us will be surprised to see that Britain’s favourite Gammon, Piers Morgan had an opinion – he always does when Meghan is concerned. What did surprise me was that most of these comments came from women. What about the sisterhood ladies? I was also very surprised to see that one of the comments was from a “Top 10 UK Daddy Blogger” who I assumed would understand the complexities of becoming a new parent. Apparently not. Here we are presented with a video of a woman looking visibly upset, admitting she is struggling and appreciating that someone has remembered that she exists as a human outside the role of mum, wife and Royal. Rather than be empathetic, it would seem that many folk out there prefer to believe the difficulties of becoming a new mother are determined by wealth and privilege. You’re simply not allowed to struggle if you have money, an extensive wardrobe and are over 30 years of age. If, God forbid, you DO find yourself ‘living a life of privilege’ and struggling as a new mother you must by no means admit this. The struggle is for the real world, not for you. While I appreciate that Meghan is under a lot more scrutiny than the majority of us are when we become parents, it really is a shocker that that simplest act of asking someone if they are OK should have such an impact. At a time when we are encouraging people to talk about mental health to break taboo we have discovered that there’s actually small print. Becoming a new mum is hard, whether it’s your first or your third. It takes it’s toll on you, and not just physically. Mentally, becoming a new mum is tough, often overwhelming. Many of us struggle yet it’s not something we readily talk about for fear of being judged for failing. We will happily tell tales of perineal tears, the number of stitches we had, the horrors of the first post baby poo and the lack of control when sneezing yet we never really talk about what goes on mentally. We don’t talk about the exhaustion, the loneliness, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence in ourselves that many of us have. It is hardly surprising really. Seeing someone speaking openly about such things yet being met with such vitriol and suggestion that we’re only allowed to feel these things if we conform to certain ideals isn’t going to encourage us to put ourselves in that judgemental firing line. Especially when we’re already feeling pretty vulnerable. Funnily enough, it could be argued that those suggesting ‘privileged’ people can’t struggle are actually the privileged because they have never felt that struggle – that’s a wormhole I’ll avoid for today. The problem is, these struggles that can come with being a new mum really don’t give a shit whether you’re rich or poor; whether your partner helps out in the night; what your job title is or what car you drive. The wave of conflicting emotions also make us feel like we can’t talk about it, we have a lovely baby – we really shouldn’t complain. After all there are people out there who can’t have children, who have terminal illness, who are going through a lot worse than me. Yes there are but that doesn’t make your struggle any less important to you, it is most unhelpful to head down the path of competitive sadness. How many times have we seen a new mum and asked “Are you OK?” Only to be told how baby is sleeping well, or baby has a touch of colic, or baby is coming along so well. We need to persist with this line of questioning “Yes, I’m glad baby is fine but are YOU OK?” Whether we are in the public eye, rich or poor. We should never be almost reduced to tears because someone bothered to as us the simplest question – Are you OK? Although I have written this inspired by the struggle of a new mum, I really think as a rule we should be asking everyone whether they’re OK a lot more than we do. More importantly, we should mean it when we ask, really listen to what someone has to say, and be willing to be open and honest with others when sincerely asked the same. We shouldn’t disregard anyone’s struggle because they have more money than us or because we’ve survived tougher situations than them. Life isn’t a competition and it takes very little to be a decent person.

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Things to Consider as a New Mum

Anna — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 11:08:46 +0000

When we discover that there will be an addition of tiny feet to our family we tend to go into planning overdrive. Many of us have made the decision to grow our family, and have already started making plans as to how it will all pan out. We will prepare for the changes our body will undertake – understand why lavender baths are a Godsend and trampolining is a thing of the past. We will believe we are prepared for sleepless nights, milk spots on our shoulders, the vague aroma of vomit and up the back mucky nappies. We will read books, speak to friends and consider ourselves prepared. *Spoiler Alert* You’re never truly prepared. The truth of the matter is, until that little bundle of joy arrives into your household you can’t ever be REALLY ready for the changes that will occur within your life and home. With this in mind, I’m sharing with you the things with you that surprised me most as a new mum. Things to Consider as a New Mum Expectation Once we’ve had children, most of us find that the expectations we have of ourselves and others changes. Before baby you may have had a pristine house, got up at 6am to hit the gym, cooked freshly prepared meals daily and met friends for weekend brunch. After baby, you may find that some days you don’t vacuum, you’re still in your pyjamas at lunch, and ready meals are on the menu more often than they once were. This is all OK. I’m not saying that you’ll suddenly be living in squalor; but you’ll realise that a clean carpet isn’t quite as important as you getting enough rest and spending time with your new small – after all, these years fly by. Unfortunately, one thing I wasn’t prepared for was having to lower my expectations of others. Being the first friend to have a baby, I quickly realised that invites to brunch became a lot less frequent once you have to take a plus one. This can be a real shame as, although you’ll be proud of bubs, adult conversation of the non-baby variety is a necessity to keep you grounded in the ‘real’ world. Mortality Before children we live life on the edge – even if we don’t realise. Once we become parents we are suddenly very aware of our own mortality – we have this small human entirely depending on us for survival. The big ride at Lightwater Valley doesn’t seem quite as exciting, we wait for the green man whether we have the kids with us or not, we start giving up (or at the very least cut back) on those things that aren’t so good for us. As a parent I have found myself doing a whole host of ‘grown up’ things like taking out life insurance. As morbid as it sounds, if my kids suddenly find themselves a parent down, the least I can have done is have a plan in place on their behalf. It’s easy to put it off (and understandable) as you have a small child to look after and a million equally as important things to do just to survive a day. Luckily the internet makes it so much easier to compare all options that are available quickly and easily. Sites like Reassured mean that you can compare life insurance quotes completely free of charge at a time that suits you…3 am anyone?? Reality Gentle Parents, Earth Mothers, Helicopter Parents or Yummy Mummies. Whether we admit it or not, we all have an idea of the kinds of parent we will be. Maybe we will follow our parents’ footsteps, maybe we will deviate from that path. Before baby we may insist on breast feeding only, a water birth, no co-sleeping, no dummies and cloth nappies. Some of us will succeed, some of us won’t. Either way, all of us will quickly realise that the only truly important thing is everyone getting through the day in one piece. The most important thing to consider as a new mum is that parenthood doesn’t follow an idealised path – the goalposts are constantly moving. No matter what goes on, the most important thing is looking after you and baby and while nothing can truly prepare you for it, it is certainly a huge adventure.

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Mum Guilt: Balancing Outdoor Play and Screen Time

Anna — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 10:17:08 +0000

This post is written in collaboration with ESP whilst eating a Ferrero Rocher. I always find the summer holidays a bit tricky, being self employed and working from home means that inevitably there are days when I have to work. Although I try and make these days as few and far between as possible, I still feel that nagging twinge of Mum Guilt when I do. I am clearly failing my children because they’re sitting in front of the TV or playing on their tablets rather than being out and about, living their best lives and channelling their inner Bear Grylls. We do have an hour a day limit on the tablets, that our two understand and (generally) adhere to, but if I’m working it is sometimes a little easy for them to move from the little screens to adding a multitude of things to their List on Netflix. As a mum, I am fully aware and concerned by the rise of childhood obesity and the increase in sedentary lifestyle amongst kids. As a slightly larger woman, I don’t want my children to end up like me – I want them to consider being active a fun thing to do rather than a chore. The past week has been one of two halves. The hot weather of midweek led to days spent in and out of the house and into the paddling pool and running round the garden getting oodles of good old vitamin D. The news then came out this weekend of the 15 year old from Britain who has won the best part of £1m in the Fortnite World Cup (yes, that is a thing now apparently) in New York which is likely to have the unfortunate consequence of making idols of Pro-Gamers rather than, say, the heroes of the recent women’s football and netball (i.e. actual) World Cups. According to our Fortnite boy’s mother she has thrown out at least one xbox and snapped one headset due to them clashing over him spending “8 hours a day in his room” gaming. 8 hours a day! I’m not being a Debbie Downer but surely it isn’t just me who thinks getting kids out there and running round and interacting, be it within a team sport or clambering over the playground equipment in the local park (the default choice of Aoife and Seth when they are asked for weekend ideas) is better for mind, body and soul than sitting in a darkened room til the early hours snacking on whatever is within reach with a controller in the other hand…? A balance is needed. When we were growing up we’d just be waved out the front door in the morning, we would head off to the school fields or woods to play football or make secret dens. We didn’t know what time it was but we’d always be home in time for tea as exhausted, ravenous and as mucky as every child should be at the end of a summer’s day! I appreciate it’s just not quite as easy as that anymore for various reasons – not everyone has a garden; playing fields have either been fenced or sold off; and we are acutely more aware of the dangers ‘out there’. We don’t let our kids just wander off to play with their friends – though we are increasingly OK with allowing them to play with their online ‘friends’ with a lot less fear… Some parents will rely (not necessarily correctly) on school to provide the ‘active’ element of life for their kids. I was really surprised when I read recent research commissioned by ESP and undertaken by Liverpool John Moores University that stated 68% of a child’s PE lesson is spent stationary, especially as our school is constantly striving to keep our children active. At our school the children do cross country once a week, indoor PE and outdoor PE as well as after school activities and external agencies that come in to do sports with them. Even the playground markings encourage them to be active within their play. We do though appreciate that the tone from the top in ‘our’ school is healthy body, healthy mind and not every school has the luxury of wide open spaces on their doorstep to enable this. As a family, and as is healthy, we have different interests and ‘hobbies’. Theirs are running, leaping and kicking, mine are wining and box-setting, but between us I feel we manage to accommodate a healthy balance of outdoor activity and indoor screen (and snack) based fun. Although there are a number of free outdoor activities available such as Parkrun and playgrounds, it can feel a task at times to make the time around work and other life commitments. It is though vital that we all make the effort (without making it feel as such for the children) to address a potential epidemic that shouldn’t even be a theoretical proposition. Here’s hoping the summer isn’t yet quite over and the biggest concerns for the next few weeks are keeping the fridge full enough and on top of the piles of washing from all the outdoor fun!

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Surviving the Holidays with the Kids at Home

Anna — Tue, 28 May 2019 08:09:00 +0000

Summer is approaching and all of us as parents are getting ready to bear the constant intensity that will come with the kids being at home. We all love our kids. We want them to be healthy and happy and we want to live a good life in addition to that. My tricks for surviving holidays with kids at home are a comfortable sportswear item, a good book, and a great glass of wine. The complexity of emotions we all feel when a school break is impending and our kids are going to be home with us can make some of us feel guilty and some of us feel like we’re not doing enough to entertain them. Here’s the real truth about being a mum at home with your kids during summer break: You have done enough as their mother by keeping them alive and providing love so don’t feel guilty that you are not being a great parent. You don’t need to haul them from activity to activity all summer long. Here are a few things you can do to take a load off of yourself during the summer vacation: Lunch Plan a special lunch out at a restaurant and meet a mum friend there. Choose a kid-friendly location and chat with her while your kids enjoy the company of friends as well. Plus, you don’t have to cook, which is a win! Play Dates Plan a play date swap with a mum friend. One afternoon, have her kids over to play with yours. Yes, it means you’ll need to endure OPC for an afternoon but the next week, she’ll have your kids over to play with hers and that way, you’ll both have an afternoon to yourselves. Get Away Plan a fun, quick trip away somewhere close to your home. Get the kids excited by making a countdown to the holiday and make the trip somewhere fun for the family. It’s nice to get away from the grind of everyday life and a little trip is the perfect way to do it! Tell me – what are YOUR go-to tricks for surviving school holidays with your kids at home?

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Looking forward: Parenting Teens

Anna — Tue, 07 May 2019 06:00:33 +0000

This is a collaborative post If you’re about to become the parent of a teenager for the first time, you’re probably thinking about the changes that are going to come your way in the years ahead. As ever, there will be wonderful things about this kind of parenting as well as aspects that will challenge you in ways you’ve never been challenged before as a parent. It’s important to be aware of what’s in store for you and the means the bad as well as the good. Only then will you feel properly prepared as a parent, so read on now if you want to find out more about the challenges and joys of parenting a teen. The Challenges You’ll Face Dealing With the Years of Rebellion Teenagers are known for rebelling against any and all authority figures that they see around them in their lives. As their parent, you will need to find out how you’re going to deal with that and there are no easy answers waiting to be found. Every teenager is different but you’ll need to allow them to rebel and find their own way because that’s all part of the teenage experience. It’s also necessary to curb the worst of these rebellious indiscretions though. Learning When They’re Lying Lies will be used like never before by your son or daughter once they reach their teenage years and that’s something that you’re going to need to be properly prepared for. Learning to know when they’re lying and what you can do to catch them out will turn out to be a vital skill for you going forward. Of course, it’s not always easy to work out when they’re lying and when they’re telling the truth but that’s where the challenge lies. Keeping Them Focused on Their Education These years are essential in many ways but most of all because it’s when they’ll get (or fail to get) their most important qualifications which could shape their career for years to come. They’re mind is not always going to be focused on school and education though. No child finds those things particularly exciting compared to the other things that might be going on in their life at that time. It’s your job to keep their mind focused on important matters like this. Helping Them Understand Their Changing Bodies Puberty can hit your child like a train and you need to be there to help them understand the changes that they’re going through because it can be confusing and perplexing for them. Striking that balance is not easy as you also need to give them the right amount of space. Be there to reassure them about changes to their body. Don’t be afraid to initiate conversations and see how they respond; it’s a better strategy that remaining silent and leaving them stranded. Do be prepared for your utility bills to go up now they’re hitting the shower a lot more, it might be worth shopping around for a less expensive home fuel – consider somewhere like emo.ie. The Moments to Enjoy Watching Them Become Their Own Person When a child morphs into an adult, that’s when they become their own person and that can be a really pleasant thing to see and be a part of for parents. They will leave behind their childhood and you will slowly see glimpses of the adult they’re about to become. For many people, it’s the best part of being a parent because it’s like seeing all your hard parenting work eventually pay off. Eventually Developing a Stronger Bond Part of what’s great about seeing your son or daughter develop into their own person is that they will become adults that you can relate to better than ever before. Parents often find that once they reach the latter end of their teenage years, they become closer and more like a friend. That’s something you should be aiming for as well and it at least gives you something to look forward to after the most difficult teenage years. Enjoying the Free Time That Comes With Their Increasing Independence Any parent will know that you have to give up a lot of your spare time when you have children. They take up most of the spare time you have and that remains the case right the way through until they become teenagers. At that point however they can start to branch out by themselves, spend more time with friends and generally be more independent, allowing you to enjoy some of the free time you’ve missed out on for so long. Parenting is both difficult and enjoyable no matter how old your child is but those challenges and enjoyable moments do change as your child ages. Embrace their teenage years because they’ll be all grown up before long.

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Annie Bee’s Colouring Sheets for Parents – Instasham

Anna — Tue, 30 Apr 2019 16:47:06 +0000

Welcome to Annie Bee’s Colouring Sheets for Parents! Here I create wonderful little pictures that you can download, print off, colour in and stick on your fridge. It’ll make a refreshing change to the weird abstract that came home from pre-school last week! Colouring Printables I’ve not done a colouring sheet for you for AGES because, y’know, life. I should imagine that every single one of us is guilty of using a filter or two on social media at times. I mean, a touch of Clarendon makes EVERYONE look better amiright? It makes sense, no one really wants to display the worst of life. We all want to look like we’ve got our shit together and are coping like bosses. It’s how we function out in the real world so it makes sense it’s how we treat our online life. Many of us would readily admit what we choose to share is a snapshot, a brief moment in a day and maybe with a little filter added. But we all have that one friend on our timeline. The one who tries to pass off every single ‘candid’ picture as #nofilter or #wokeuplikethis. In reality their beauty filter is set so high you can’t see where their face ends and their neck begins or whether they actually have a nose. They’re starting to look a little like Voldemort. There’s nothing wrong with using a filter at all, if a filter makes you feel happier about that picture then knock yourself out but please, don’t think we believe it’s au naturel. We believe that about as much as we believe you actually have puppy ears and hearts flying around your face. And on that note, I present to you Instasham – your latest colouring sheet. Print it off, colour it in and stick it on Instagram, or the kitchen cupboard – whichever. Instasham – Printable Colouring Sheet Don’t forget to check out my other colouring sheets beaches, Oranges and Bedtime – hours of fun!

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5 Ways My Children Take After Me (and I wish they didn’t)

Anna — Wed, 03 Apr 2019 19:17:04 +0000

I don’t know how it goes in your world but here I’m always hearing how my children are ‘Just Like Daddy’ They’re good at maths ‘Just Like Daddy’ If they look at a calculator they’ll be accountants ‘Just Like Daddy’ If they do a Parkrun they’re ‘Just Like Daddy’ Though to be fair, if you see me running you KNOW something is going horribly wrong with life. I’m not annoyed by the comparison, though I’d like them to believe they are individuals not clones. However I am slightly miffed that no one EVER makes the mum comparisons. No one ever says You tell a great story, just like mummy. You draw a wonderful pictures, just like mummy. You have a big imagination, just like mummy. Maybe it’s because these qualities are seen as less ‘important’ than scientific or physical things. Maybe it is considered that Daddy has such a fragile ego it needs massaging at every opportunity (he doesn’t) All of that is a whole other blog post waiting to happen. So, while I let that post manifest in my brain, let’s take a look at the ways my children are just like me! Sportspersonship Firstly, I may have just invented a word. Secondly, both of my children are bad losers. I like to say it’s a Rory thing but it isn’t, it’s all me (do NOT tell him). I hate to lose. Team sports infuriate me, NO YOU’RE NOT TAKING MY BALL Yes – I KNOW they’re the rules but I don’t have to like them. We are at the age where EVERYTHING in our house is a competition from who gets to our bed first in the morning to who reaches the front door first after school. The ‘winner’ of the ‘competition’ will put their smug face on and do a little brag. The loser invariably whinges until I can bear it no more and declare that everyone is actually a winner which is NOT really what I want to teach them. I want my children to learn that both winning and losing are OK – I just want them to learn it in a less whingey way and maybe on someone else’s watch. Sarcasm Some people say Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, I say Mrs Brown’s Boys is the lowest form of wit. I am sarcastic because it makes me laugh and one of my top five goals in life is to keep amusing myself. I used to complain that my quips were wasted on the children but now they’re of an age and astute enough to retort with sarcasm. Whilst part of me is super proud that I’m bringing up children with an amazing knack for witty retort – I must confess sometimes they deal me a solid burn and I feel defeated. Just to note, we may be sarcastic but we’re never mean. Sense of Humour I am funny, like REALLY funny. Though I will confess to not being particularly funny of late because I’ve had a real life job and it turns out that hanging out in the real life scuppers all humour and creativity. But Anna I hear you cry You were never funny! HUSH. My children seem to believe that because I am hilarious, they too are funny. And they are. Mostly. The only problem is, once they raise a laugh they don’t let it evolve. They just smash out the same joke repeatedly and, well, everyone gets bored of that VERY quickly. Saying that, I’m glad we’ve moved past Aoife’s ‘literal comedy’ phase. Mummy, what do you call a fish with teeth? A shark. Do you get it Mummy? It’s funny because a shark has teeth… Sense of Justice My children, like me, have a very strong idea of what is fair and what is not. Unfortunately whereas my sense of justice extends to people outside of my immediate eye line and considers the thoughts and feelings of others. Theirs lies firmly at home. They consider any decision that doesn’t go in their favour, conform to their ideas of what should be occurring or result in them getting something tasty, as grossly unfair. Being told off for being naughty is unfair, one not being invited to a party the other is invited to is unfair. One having a blue cup while the other has a green cup is unfair. In fact, now I think about it they actually have a very strong idea of what is unfair – apparently nothing is fair. Oh the woe. Impatience Is apparently not a virtue! I completely and utterly blame the age of instant gratification for my impatience. I used to be OK but now, if I’ve ordered my shopping to come between 10-11 am, I start getting tetchy if the van hasn’t pulled on to the street by 9.58 am. Lateness is probably the worst human trait in my opinion. I like to know what I’m doing and when. As a former Girl Scout, I like to be prepared. Luckily as an adult, I can reign my impatience in. My children, on the other hand, can’t. When something is happening at 1:30 Seth will ask the time at regular intervals from the minute his eyes open, alas he has no concept of time. If we decide to take a day trip they just HAVE to know where we are going, they can’t wait and see and they hurl a barrage of questions – God forbid they wait a whole 30 minutes until we get there. When they ask me to do something and I say “wait a minute”, they tut and moan like I asked them to hand over a kidney! Now I put it out there in black and white, I wonder if maybe the ways the kids take after me aren’t quite the pleasant characteristics I was hoping to dig out after all… They both have huge hearts though, and as we all know Rory is a Tin Man, they must definitely get that from me right? Check out these cool cats for their take on this subject… Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee Me, Them and the Others Unmindful Mama The Mulberry Bush The Incidental Parent

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How Can You Prepare Your Toddler for School?

Anna — Fri, 22 Mar 2019 13:25:46 +0000

This is a collaboration Watching our children progress can be a little bittersweet- it’s always going to be emotional seeing that your little one is no longer the tiny baby you brought home from the hospital. But as parents, it’s our job to provide our children with the tools they need to succeed in life, and attending school is the first step on the ladder. If your toddler is approaching school age, or you’re just thinking to the future for your baby, here are a few things that are worth bearing in mind that will make the transition into school life much easier and more pleasant. Get social To succeed in school and in life in general, it’s important to know how to get along with others. This involves being kind and considerate to others, sharing and taking turns and being able to control emotions. Of course, this is something that comes with time and isn’t something that children will have mastered by the time they start school. However, making a start on these things is important. You can do this by allowing your child to socialise with others; get them used to meeting, talking to and playing with other children, and gently encourage the correct behaviours. There’s nothing wrong with children that are naturally a little shy and reserved, this could just be their personality. But extreme shyness and not being able to interact with other children properly can really hold them back, so getting them used to being around others from a young age is something worthwhile you can do. Go on playdates with others who have children of a similar age. Attend classes where your child can meet others, look into pre-school, play school or even childminding services where they’ll be spending time with other kids. Parents often feel bad about leaving their little ones with childminders when they’re working or busy, but it can actually be a really positive thing for them. Generally encourage social behaviour where possible, as it will come in useful when they start school. Work on quiet time Children are full of energy and need to burn off steam, they need plenty of exercise to keep fit and healthy. But quiet time is important too, and something that’s worth working on before they reach school age. They need to be able to sit still for longer periods in school while they’re learning new things and listening to the teachers. Work in quiet time into your day so your child can get used to sitting still, using their ‘indoor voice’ and concentrating. You could read stories, colour in, play a game or do some other kind of quiet activity. Start small and then build your way up, until your child can comfortably sit and pay attention for longer amounts of time. Running around the classroom and being restless isn’t going to be helpful for themselves or the other kids, and might make settling in and getting adjusted difficult if they’re not used to doing this. Introduce them to a wide range of foods As a parent, your child’s health and nutrition will have always been a top priority from the start. It can be difficult once they’re eating real food to ensure they’re getting enough nutrition from their diet, which is why toddler milk like Bubbahood can be useful. But by the time they reach school age, they’ll ideally be getting everything they need from their diet, be open to trying different things and be able to feed themselves. Being prepared to try new things helps to keep your child adaptable and can reduce stress and anxiety around mealtimes. Kids are notoriously fussy, but try not to get stressed as their tastes change regularly. Keep trying them with new foods, and try not to fall into the habit of providing the same meals over and over. It might make things easier, but can cause unhealthy eating habits and mean that they’re missing out on certain things from their diet. Build on their interests from a young age Every child is unique, and each will tend to gravitate to things they’re interested in. While they’re still very young, some will love picking up a pen and scribbling on paper, others will like to kick a football or play a certain game. Whatever it is your child tends to enjoy, try and build on this and use it as a catalyst for them to gain new skills in a fun way. Scribbling is the foundation to drawing and then a little later, writing. Listening to stories helps to develop concentration and imagination. Sporty activities can improve hand eye coordination and muscle strength. You could even go to a class or activity centre to explore this further, for example you can find baby sports gyms, swimming lessons, art classes, cooking classes- just about everything these days. Their interests will more than likely change over time, but when they show a fascination in one area, use this to your advantage as they’ll be responsive to learning new skills relating to it. When it comes to toddlers, it’s best to go with the flow- wait for them to show an interest in something and then roll with it- rather than trying to force them to build skills or develop an area that’s not fun to them. Start working on skills for school As your toddler starts getting a little older and the time to start school is approaching, it makes sense to work on skills that will come in useful for them. Their concentration will be better and you can begin practising some of the things that they’ll need to be able to do. This can involve learning how to use a knife and fork to eat their dinner, and being able to sit with others while they eat. They should be used to patiently waiting for others to finish, these skills can be mastered by dining together as a family. Knowing how to tie their own shoelaces, and dress themselves well enough so that they can use the toilet without assistance is worth mastering before reaching school age. Knowing how to properly hold a pencil is another worthy skill, according to The School Run, poor pencil grip is something that can take a long time to unlearn. We’re lucky to live in a place in the world where the school system is excellent, however it can’t teach our kids everything. Providing them with the basics that school can them help them to finesse is crucial and will stop them from falling behind their peers. Give them support Support is one of the things our children need most from us. Starting school is a huge, scary step for them and while it teaches independence, it’s also important for them to know that they have us. If they’re struggling, have had a bad day or are feeling unsure, knowing that they can come to us makes all the difference. Encourage them to do their best, offering lots of praise for the things they do right. Any behavioural issues or mistakes, try and get to the bottom of things instead of simply telling them off. Promoting school to them in a positive way and encouraging them to enjoy it can help to spur them on to do their best. Is your child starting school this year? What kinds of things will you be doing to prepare them for this big step in their lives?

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