humour Archives : Me, Annie Bee.

Being Forty is Fabulous – Comparatively Speaking

Anna — Fri, 15 Mar 2019 17:34:05 +0000

I must admit, that turning 40 did lead to a certain amount of maudlin and feeling sorry for myself at times (seriously, not one night of birthday drinks? Totally bitter). A mourning, if you will, for my long-lost youth. Recently though I’ve had a turn around. I’ve given my head a wobble and had a moment of clarity. It’s not actually that bad being 40 – I KNOW RIGHT?! Being forty is fabulous. Yes my chances of travelling the world, having an amazing career and being famous are probably long gone, but I am so thankful that I’m not young these days. But Anna I hear you cry Why wouldn’t you want to be twenty years younger today? Well, take a seat and I’ll tell you why… Dating Dating generally followed a simple step by step procedure. Step 1 – See someone you like, flirt shamelessly. They either roll their eyes and walk away or stick around to chat. Step 2 – Numbers are exchanged. Wonder if they gave you number to shut you up, that’s CLEARLY why they haven’t text after 12 hours. Step 3 – Text arrives and is responded to. Make judgement based on how quickly a reply is received. Too quick, they are desperate, too slow and they maybe aren’t as interested as you think. Step 4 – A few dates are had and either a relationship is formed or the decision to go no further is made and you head back to step one. These days it’s all done online – Tinder, PoF, Bumble, Grindr…they all sound like inappropriate Teletubbies to me. You scroll through, choose a jet-setting model, swipe right, message (aubergines don’t mean you’re having ratatouille for dinner) and meet up. There is an 80% chance they look nothing like their heavily filtered picture (did you really think they had puppy eyes?) and can’t hold a spoken word conversation. This is all too gritty for me. I much prefer the oblivion of being disregarded in public rather than someone looking at my picture and physically rejecting me with a swipe. The idea of chatting in a public are suits me more than messages where I can’t detect tone of voice or whether someone is genuine. Also, a bloke is less likely to wang his dick out in a crowded bar than in your DMs. Technology Specifically music (though my life feels like an abundance of mis-sent messenger messages at times). After our car was written off we had to get a new one. The one thing we were sure to check was whether it had a DAB radio – after all, we’re cool like that. It was only once we’d purchased the car we realised it didn’t have a CD player. WHAT?!? Being the modern sort, I knew I could hook my phone up to the car via Bluetooth – Excellent. I just need to pop some CDs onto my laptop and transfer them to my phone, it couldn’t be easier. What’s that you say? My new laptop doesn’t have a disk drive? SERIOUSLY? How do you get music onto devices these days? What was wrong with the drag and drop system? I don’t understand what Spotify, Deezer or Soundcloud are, I just know I don’t want to pay a subscription for new music. I want to listen to the CDs I own from the olden days (2010). Luckily I have an old laptop so I can rip a CD, put it onto a flash drive, transfer that to my new laptop then drop it on my phone. I THOUGHT TECHNOLOGY WAS MEANT TO MAKE LIFE EASIER!? Invisibility Now this one is both a blessing and curse. Most women of a certain age will agree that we become invisible once we become post 40. Literally no one is paying attention to us, it’s like we cease to exist. We could be saving puppies and old ladies left, right and centre and no one would bat an eyelid. This may sound a little woe but bear with. The plus side of the post 40 invisibility is that we can go to a bar knowing that no one is going to letch over us. I’m not suggesting for a minute I was all that in my younger days but virtually all younger women receive attention from those looking for a mate. Much of the time it is awkward, uncomfortable and unwanted. These days, if someone started chatting to me in a bar there would be no chance of confusion or miscommunication. I would assume he was missing his mum or on a bet. This nicely leads me into… Expectations People see a post 40 woman and assume she has made it to the point they want to be at. They assume that this is you on your chosen path, there will be no upheavals – no great career change. There is also no previous you who existed before this time now. You are just there being a 40 year old woman. The expectations are pretty low. When you’re in your twenties people have so many expectations. Will you go to university? What career path will you take? You can’t bum around forever! What do you want to do with your LIFE? Do you think you’ll get married soon? Will you have babies now or later? So much pressure is put upon you to make a decision, ideally one that determines your life path for the next 50 years. Once you ‘re post forty, people assume you’ve made all those decisions and are midway to your destination. Truth is, if the destination is death then yes, I probably am midway there, but in all honesty? I’m still just winging it. Self-confidence I throw this in there as a woman of a certain age who still lacks self-confidence BUT I have it in abundance compared to in my younger days. When you’re younger there is so much pressure put upon you about how you should look, what you should wear and what size you should be. When I was in my late twenties I was a size 12/14. I thought I was SO fat… but what I would give to be that size again now! Nowadays the only person putting pressure on me to look or be a certain way is me. With age and maturity comes a realisation that you don’t have to please everyone else. You don’t have to conform to the ideals others impose upon you and you can be happy being who you want to be. Though I would happily hand back a few creases that are appearing I wouldn’t hand back the things I’ve learnt over the last twenty years and I certainly wouldn’t want to be young today. Why not head over to The Incidental Parent to check out her thoughts on being young again. In the meantime, if you like it stick a pin in it!

The post Being Forty is Fabulous – Comparatively Speaking appeared first on Me, Annie Bee..

Reception class starter: A users guide.

Anna — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 18:10:49 +0000

Dear Teaching Staff, First of all, I would like to take this moment to congratulate you on your decision to become a co-carer of the Seth Version 1.0. I am sure you will be delighted with your new acquisition. Although the creators consider the Seth v.1.0 to be practically perfect, I am enclosing a users guide for this particular version. The Seth v.1.0 will be sent to you, fully charged, every morning. Unfortunately this particular version does run out of fuel quite quickly and by lunchtime may show signs of possible malfunction due to hunger. These signs can include a CBA attitude and a bit of a grump. This will be resolved instantly with food. Whilst we will send the Seth v.1.0 to you shiny and clean every day, we do not expect it returned in similar fashion. This device is adept at seeking out muck in the cleanest of places and so will become tarnished at the first given opportunity. This version of the Seth is fitted with a fully functioning language chip. We have set this to ‘English’ as a primary language and it generally works well. We have noticed, however, that at times of excitement/annoyance this chip can default to ‘gibberish’. If this happens, a soft reset* should fix it straight away. The Seth v.1.0 was also designed with a ‘mimic’ function (though neither creator is taking credit for this). After four and a half years of study, even our experts aren’t entirely sure how it works, it seems to be activated when the Seth v.1.0 is being corrected or is in ‘humour’ mode. Unfortunately, surrounding devices may not be in ‘humour’ mode at the same time and it can trigger annoyance in other devices. The vast knowledge of our experts has determined that staying silent is the only way to disable the mimic function – any research you undertake regarding this would be received with interest. Like many similar models, the Seth comes complete with opposable thumbs and is capable of the ‘tripod’ grip required for writing, however it will default from ‘write’ to ‘scribble’. If a moment of letter forming does happen to occur, the unit will rectify this by putting itself into ‘scribble’ mode and remove the perfectly formed letter. This model of the Seth has been designed to interact and be compatible with other similar devices, and is largely successful when in this mode. There are rare occasions where this feature will falter and ‘warning’ noises will be emitted from the device, usually if a similar device doesn’t want to pair. Again, a soft reset* will usually rectify this immediately. The unit comes with three physical speeds – ‘Snail pace’, ‘normal’ and ‘train’. For reasons unknown, the unit is often stuck in ‘train’, unless of course you need to manoeuvre it at speed when it will quickly put itself into ‘snail pace‘ mode. ‘Normal’ is rarely used. On the plus side, this version of the Seth will never be able to sneak up on you. At times the Seth v.1.0 can become quite tactile offering hugs and words of encouragement. Unfortunately, as speed is often set to ‘train’ a hug can often be mistaken for a rugby tackle. As primary creator and receiver of such hugs, I can assure you it is meant in the kindest possible way. The words of encouragement often include “You’re the best….ever”, “Just be brave” and “You can do it”. The Seth v.1.0 comes with two volume settings – ‘asleep’ and ‘loud’. As the recharging of the unit will be done at home, you will mostly experience use in the ‘loud’ setting. For reasons unknown, a volume control was not included with this version. I can only apologise for that and assure you that the designer for that function was duly reprimanded. Despite the possible glitches outlined that may occur with the Seth v.1.0 we have decided that this version will remain the only one. We are sure that you will enjoy your daily interactions with him as much as we do. You can do it! *A soft reset is performed by removing the Seth v.1.0 from the situation causing the malfunction and bringing a train/vehicle/other exciting object into view.

The post Reception class starter: A users guide. appeared first on Me, Annie Bee..

Annie Bee’s Colouring Sheets for Parents – Bedtime

Anna — Thu, 12 Jul 2018 18:52:17 +0000

Welcome to Annie Bee’s Colouring Sheets for Batshit Crazy Parents! Here I create wonderful little pictures that you can download, print off, colour in and stick on your fridge. They will probably resonate with you more than flowers, a car or a rabbit. I’m off on holiday next week and man am I ready. You know when you get to that point where being a parent is literally suffocating you? Yeah you do, don’t lie. No one is judging you here. Anyway, I’m at that point – I need a break. Obviously my children are coming with me so we will be parenting but in a warmer, more beautiful place. Before you have children there’s this…ideal. This scene you create with your wonderfully, clean all the time children who do as they ask. If for some reason you find yourself raising your voice you quickly apologise and talk it out. They eat what you cook, you have meaningful conversations and they say things that would put the greatest philosophers to shame. You’re #blessed. You #cherisheverymoment. You would NEVER say that sometimes, it’s just not for you. Once you have kids you swiftly realise that someone, somewhere is creating these lies just to make people procreate. Yes there ARE some wonderful moments but by God there are some trying ones. I honestly believe some days, that my time would be better spent standing in front of a mirror and talking to myself. It’s my own fault for creating such independent, strong minded children. So, yes, we have some special times. More often than not, my favourite time is bedtime. THAT’S why mama loves gin. Why don’t you pour yourself a large one, follow this link to print off ‘Bedtime’ and steal your kids felt tips to colour it in? You’ll feel better, I promise… You can find the previous two colouring sheets here and here. Enjoy!

The post Annie Bee’s Colouring Sheets for Parents – Bedtime appeared first on Me, Annie Bee..

40 things to do before I’m 40 – maybe

Anna — Tue, 24 Apr 2018 13:57:08 +0000

Welcome to the Year of Anna! Yes, I’m aware we’ve done a quarter of the year already but back in January I didn’t know this would be my year. Not only did I get married (did I mention that?) but I also turn 40! To ‘celebrate’ this decline into middleage, I decided that I, like many before me, would list ’40 things to do before I’m 40′. 40 always seemed so OLD. Then I got to 35 and it seemed so…inevitable. Now, here I am in my 39th year feeling no different to how I felt 20 years ago, except maybe a little creakier and with most of my dreams shattered at my feet. Given that I turn 40 in a mere three months, have two young children and no income, this list is less excting than others and entirely unacheivable. Go on a river cruise I’m starting big, I like the idea of a cruise but I don’t like the sea so much, at least on a river cruise I can see the shore! Learn to speak Russian For no other reason than wanting to sound like an evil genius when I talk! Write a will Who will I leave all my nothing to? Not very exciting but practical, I’m just hoping that by putting it on this list I’ll actually do it if only to be able to tick one thing off! Learn to drive I really should despite knowing that all other drivers will piss me right off. It’d be nice to be able to take the kids to different places so they could whinge at me in a variety of locations. Lose six stone(ish) To be fair six stone is entirely unrealistic in three months, heck I probably couldn’t do it in three years but this is MY list so it’s staying in. Lose 10 years This goes hand in hand with number 5, I have an image in my head, once I lose weight I fully intend to be younger. I’m sure I can turn back the clock somehow…. Grow six inches taller I know, I know – it’s impossible. I’m just really hung up on this image I have of how I’d like to look. I think I actually just want to be someone else! Learn to walk in heels I love a good Irregular Choice mid heel but I walk like a donkey in them. This would help number 7 though. Move to France Unlikey within the time frame, throw in a sensible, accountant husband it’s probably unlikely ever! Be heard Nothing profound here, I’d just like to make a request of my children and them respond. Just once. Be brave Again, not being all warrior. I’d like to tell the people on my shit list that they are on my shit list, how they made it on the list and what they can do to get off it. *Spoiler Alert* there’s no getting off of the list… Meet up with good friends I need to meet friends to eat, drink and chat more. The problem is some live too far away, if I could crack number 4 it might not be such an issue. Public transport is expensive and other people are on it. Eat Sushi This has made the cut because it’s the kind of thing I feel people like to see on lists like this. I don’t like fish. I should imagine I won’t like uncooked fish. It ain’t happening. Get a better skincare regime My name is Anna and I am lazy. In the run up to the wedding I was lotioning and potioning every day, I’ve slacked off now and am swiftly turning back into a lizard person. Become Make-up savvy Not contouring – who even has time for that? Just learn more about what does what. I’ve discovered that primer isn’t just for newly plastered walls, you can use it on your face too. I have no clue what BB cream is though. This could possibly help with number 6. Go to the Doctor I’ve been ‘making an appointment’ for my dodgy hip for two years now. I should probably actually go before I’m 40. Again, like number 3 this is here as something I might actually tick off my list. Learn to cook I’m already a pretty decent cook but my repertoire is a bit repetitive. I’d like to try new, exciting cuisine! Maybe traditional French cooking. Without the duck or veal. Drink less wine And replace it with meths…I jest. I want to drink less wine in order to help with number 5. If I drink less wine then I could reward myself by drinking better quality wine….Ooooo idea! Be more social Not just with people I know but generally. I’m not good at people in real life, I also need to work on my resting bitch face. I think I always look grumpy and unapproachable. I can’t help it, it’s just my face and I’m no good at smiling. Be in more photos Not in a heavily filtered selfie kind of way. I need to appear in more family photos so if I drop dead the kids have something to remind them I actually existed. Find a hobby And stick to it. Something exciting and interesting, that will make me a more interesting person. Ideally without me having to leave the house and talk to actual people. Gah, that’s not very number 19 is it? Make her smile What? Well, there’s this woman I pass on the school run every day, twice a day. Every day I smile, every day she scowls at me, granted Seth growled at her son once but I said sorry and kids do weird shit. Her refusal to smile is awkward but I’m determine to make her crack. Improve my wardrobe I’m sick of looking like one of Mr Maker’s ‘shapes’. I spend so much time looking like a short box. My wedding dress reminded me that, despite being a fatty, I have a waist and a decent rack on me. I need to be showing that off. I used to wear nice clothes all the time before kids. Not assigning blame, just saying. Go to the hairdresser I keep cutting my own hair, it looks OK but it needs a ‘proper’ cut. I just can’t be doing with staring at myself for an hour and small talk isn’t my forte. No I’m not going on holiday, I won’t be out at the weekend and I don’t want curls putting in because it’s 9.30 on a Tuesday morning! If I could sort numbers 5,6 & 19 this one would be a piece of cake. Be Spontaneous I love the idea of just going away last minute. Book it, pack it, fuck off rather than book it, pack it, make a list, repack it, make another list… Write a CV “But Anna- that one is both boring and simple” You’d think! Believe it or not I’m not very good at blowing my own trumpet. I’ve been out of work for seven years now and that’s a pretty large void to fill. “Watching six seasons of Pretty Little Liars and the entire back catalogue of Criminal Minds (and spin offs) in a short space of time” doesn’t feel like a viable, transferable skill. Also I’m so OLD now. Hug a bear Specifically a polar bear. The chances of encountering a polar bear before July are slim. The chances of survival – slimmer still. Makes the list though. Have an idea And the confidence to see it through. Ideally an amazing business idea that will make me loads of money. Can’t be that hard can it? Be more ‘me’ Not as ‘grounding’ as it sounds. I tend to be less ‘me’ in the actual world for fear of offending. I’m hilarious, it’s their problem if they don’t like me. Losers. This attitude could have an adverse effect on number 19 though…. Have a spa Do you have a spa or do a spa? I have no idea! I love the idea of spa-ing(?) but wouldn’t want anyone to have to massage this lardy body. Drink more prosecco I know this counteracts number 18 but that’s starting to look like a bad idea and I really fancy some fizz now. Not cava though, cava has a special place in hell. Draw more Once upon a time there was an artist within me, she is still there loitering and with more to offer than pictures of Hey Duggee and the squirrels! Make fewer excuses It’s so much easier to make excuses than DO stuff. If I could crack this many of 1-34 could actually happen! I’ll get on it. On Monday. Stick at things Are you still reading? 40 is rather a lot. I CBA to think of anymore. Let’s consider 34 a definite fail.

The post 40 things to do before I’m 40 – maybe appeared first on Me, Annie Bee..

Weekly Winedown #34 – Anciano Tempranillo

Anna — Fri, 16 Mar 2018 19:35:04 +0000

Welcome to the Weekly Winedown. Each week I selflessly drink wine for you and offer a review. Please don’t expect anything professional, I consume a lot of wine but I’m no pro. The only real ‘rule’ I’m putting in place is that the wine is to be under £8 a bottle. #keepitclassy You may have noticed there’s been no Winedown for a couple of weeks. You probably didn’t notice. There were probably had more important things on your mind like Eastenders or something. But yes, I’ve slacked off. Initially I blame the beast from the East. Snow really throws me off my game. It’s like I suddenly find myself unable to think. I start to flap. “What do they mean ‘Don’t leave the house unless it’s absolutely necessary’?” Do they mean here or other places? What IS absolutely necessary? Is school absolutely necessary? What if the Ocado van can’t get here? I’ll have no wine, that would be an absolutely necessary. The I get a bit twitchy. “We should stock up” “Aldi and Waitrose are right round the corner” “But just in case” “Just in case what?” “I don’t know, I just have the urge to stockpile” It turns out you can take the girl out of the south but you can’t take the south out of the girl. As you can see, we survived that round of bad weather only for me to spit my dummy about something or other last week and going on strike. That’s how I roll… I’m in dire need of sunshine and wonderful things to look forward to. Hurry up summer. This week I’m drinking a Spanish Tempranillo, I’m going to hold my hands up and confess to have consuming four bottles of this already over the last few weeks. It’s one sexy Spanish red – say Hola to Anciano Gran Reserva Tempranillo. The Label Before we even get to the label, we need ao acknowledge that this is one of those bottles of wine that comes with like gold net on. I’m not entirely sure of the purpose of that but it certainly works in getting me to buy it! Well done the marketing team! The label is made to look old, torn edges and that browned colour like someone wiped cold teabags on it. Seven, yes SEVEN different fonts have been used on the label. It’s most certainly trying to be something it’s not and yet…I appear to be OK with that. The Blurb “In the timeless Spanish winemaking tradition, Anciano Gran Reserva is matured in oak barrels for at least 18 months and in our cellars, to achieve its fine complexity and mellow oak character. It has smooth vanilla notes, rich black cherry fruit and subtle hints of leather, blasamic and spice. Drinking well now.” OK. WHAT? It makes little sense to me. I don’t know if something has been lost in translation or they just had to make something up quickly as the labels were going to print. I’m also not entirely sure whether blasamic is being used in terms of the vinegar or of the tree but neither, combined with leather, make me think ‘get in my glass’. As you can tell, I’m pretty unimpressed with the exterior of this wine BUT this is bottle number five so what’s going on inside? The smell nose is actually quite delicate. Soft fruit and a touch peppery. The taste starts strong with cherries and dark fruits. It’s rich, smooth offering a full mouthful(oi oi) with a subtle oaked, vanilla-y undertone with maybe a hint of dark chocolate. Beautiful and full bodied, certainly NOT vinegary or tree like! Currently on offer at £5.99, I don’t think the usual price of £8.99 is out of order. I am smitten with this kitten. Name – Anciano Gran Reserva Tempranillo Price – £5.99 Colour – Deep red. Smell – Soft fruit and spice Taste – Full, buttery, cherries and vanilla. Goes well with – Life, all of it. Overall score – 4.5/5

The post Weekly Winedown #34 – Anciano Tempranillo appeared first on Me, Annie Bee..

Weekly Winedown #33 The Whale Caller

Anna — Fri, 23 Feb 2018 20:13:15 +0000

Welcome to the Weekly Winedown. Each week I selflessly drink wine for you and offer a review. Please don’t expect anything professional, I consume a lot of wine but I’m no pro. The only real ‘rule’ I’m putting in place is that the wine is to be under £8 a bottle. #keepitclassy Hello Friday you sexy thing you! We have been waiting, what took you so long? I always look forward to the weekend. Someone once asked me why when I don’t work and every day is like a weekend. OH HOW I LAUGHED. Take my children and come tell me how weekend like it is! I like the weekend because there are more grown ups around to talk to and I get to share the daytime parenting. However, I don’t recall the last time I had weekend plans though, unlike Rory who is off at some fancy ball as we speak. I know right?! He’s off larging it at some event in his tux leaving poor old me here, all alone to fend for myself. Meh, I’ll get over it. I’ve been a bit poorly this week which must be the ONLY explanation for my wine selection. Let us say Goeienaand to The Whale Caller, a shiraz cabernet sauvignon from South African. Interesting fact, the guy who delivered my shiraz today was called Shiraz! This particular wine comes in at £4.99 a bottle. Not on sale, just always £4.99… I’m no wine snob, OK just a bit, but I tend to rule out a bottle of wine if it doesn’t have a punt (indentation) in the bottom of the bottle. It doesn’t REALLY make a difference, it’s pretty much pomp but this bottle doesn’t have one and I found myself coming out in a cold sweat when I realised. I’m such a punt. The Label All the right colours – red, white and black. The font is unoffensive which is always a bonus. There is a picture of a whale and a man with a horn, who I assume is the Whale Caller. I don’t know why the Whale Caller is important enough to have wine named after him. Maybe he’s a pretty big deal in South Africa? The Blurb “As you savour this rich red wine, with dark berry fruits and hints of chocolate and spice, you may just catch the strains of the Whale Caller’s horn, blowing on the southern wind.” Well, if this wine makes me start hearing horns I’m going to question whether it is wine. I like a drink, I’m not adverse to getting a little tipsy on occassion. Heck I’m all for getting mortalled if the situation requires BUT I don’t want to start hearing things, nevermins whale horns on the breeze. That aside, I’m quite liking the ‘hints of chocolate and spice’. This wine could be amazing. It could also not. It’s not. The aroma is a bit plasticine like. It smells synthetic and not the most pleasant. The blurb offers promise but promises can be broken. There is a distinct lack of spice. It’s a very flat taste, almost watered down. As a wine lover, I’m not a fan. As a Yorkshire woman, I’ll drink it as not to waste the money. Name – The Whale Caller Price – £4.99 Colour – A nice dark red Smell – A little plastic/synthetic Taste – NOT spicey. Kind of flat and watered down. Goes well with – Nothing, absolutely nothing. Overall score – 1/5

The post Weekly Winedown #33 The Whale Caller appeared first on Me, Annie Bee..

Sorry seems to be the hardest word – or not.

Anna — Fri, 23 Feb 2018 11:45:48 +0000

Sorry – Feeling regret or penitence. Sorry. It’s a funny word isn’t it? Five little letters that some folk find harder to say than Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Others say it far to often, so much so that it quickly loses all meaning. Seth falls into the latter category. He must say sorry about 100 times a day. I have no problem with him apologising but he just doesn’t have a clue what it means. He will bump his head. “Sorry” “No, you don’t need to apologise for bumping your head”. Someone will get hurt accidentally or growled at. “Sorry” “That’s OK, it was an accident. Thank you for apologising” He’ll enter a room looking sheepish after drawing on the floor. “Sorry” “What have you done?” “But sorry” “Why are you sorry though?” “I SAID I’M SORRY” “OK, please tell me what you did!” Standing in front of the TV about to hit it with his hammer “Sorry” *Hammers the screen* “No, that’s not an acceptable sorry. A preemptive apology doesn’t give you permission to go ahead and hammer the TV” He will be screaming/having a tantrum/throwing things. “Sorry” “So stop doing that” *Continues with generally crappy behaviour* “But I said sorry” “I know but you’re still doing it so you’re not sorry” We try to explain what sorry means but he just doesn’t get it and if we don’t accept his apology then, well, things get ‘tense’. “BUT I SAID SORRY!” “IF. YOU. WERE. SORRY. YOU. WOULDN’T. STILL. BE. DOING. IT!” “SORRY THOUGH, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY” “Oh ffs. OK, you’re sorry!” I know that’s not the ideal way to deal with it but it really isn’t worth having a three year old right up in my face screaming sorry until I forgive him. So, how do we deal with this? How do you get a small human to say sorry, understand what it means and actually mean it? Am I raising a sociopath? Should I just abandon all hope? An interesting note here As I was typing this post Seth stood in front of me, looked me dead in the eye and stood on my foot. “Sorry, that was an accident” He said at exactly the moment his foot pressed down on mine. Ummm no son, I don’t believe it was!

The post Sorry seems to be the hardest word – or not. appeared first on Me, Annie Bee..

Weekly Winedown #31 Sangre de Toro.

Anna — Fri, 02 Feb 2018 19:19:20 +0000

The post Weekly Winedown #31 Sangre de Toro. appeared first on Me, Annie Bee..

Happy Valentine’s… to me.

Anna — Thu, 01 Feb 2018 19:26:32 +0000

Just last year I wrote about how we don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day, whilst I stand by all the reasons we choose not to celebrate I have a confession to make. I secretly DO love the idea of Valentine’s Day. My head talks sense but my heart gets sucked up in all the romance and hype. I like the idea of grand romantic gestures, declarations of love and surprises! Of the two of us, I am the one with my head firmly stuck in the clouds, Rory is more grounded. He REALLY isn’t bothered with Valentine’s Day. Or Anniversaries. Or any display of romance at all. Ever. Our first Valentine’s Day together he bought us a trip to New York. It was amazing, the best Valetine’s gift EVER. He’s been milking it ever since though. What is a girl to do? Well, there is but one answer… Slip into something comfortable, turn the lights low, pour a glass of wine and start shopping. Yes, I have decided to treat myself to some Valentine’s gifts. Where to begin? Since I was a child Debenhams has always felt really ‘fancy’ to me, (I think it’s all the well made up ladies squirting perfume at everyone). I’d had a wine, I was feeling fancy, I decided to check out their Valentine’s offerings. Lingerie, jewellery, clothing, beauty, tech and more -their Valentine’s shop is full of beautiful things for the one you love and, most importantly, ME! I’m not going to lie, I spent a very long time looking at beautiful things that I might like to buy. Did I want lingerie or quality make up? A handbag or a watch? So. Much. Choice. After much deliberation I opted for a Fitbit Flex. 20 years ago I’d have punched someone for buying me that but given I’m approaching 40 I figured it was time to start loving myself a little more. I also bought myself some ‘sexy lingerie’. I’ve not included that in the picture for obvious reasons. I don’t have a wide angle lens… Seriously, no one needs to see my pants but they are very nice. I decided I would share the love as I felt guilty for buying myself wonderful things am a good and loving girlfriend. Rory is now the proud owner of a Ben Sherman cardigan that I really rather liked. And I’m sure he will too. Amongst the abundance of Valentine’s gifts, Debenhams also sell gift experiences. I’m sure you’re familiar with these little boxes of joy. You pay for an ‘experience’ and the recipent can choose what they’d like to do. Once Rory found out I had the Ultimate Time Together, gift experience he was surprisingly on board with Valentine’s Day… “What will we do? Where will we go?” “Oh, we DO do Valentine’s now eh?” Showboat cruises, gourmet meals, bungee jumping, zip wires and Zombie apocolypses were all options in the package. We decided to rule those out, if I’m going away I want a bit of luxury, not something that risks ending in broken bones. As a result we are going to be spending a couple of nights at The Fat Lamb country inn in Cumbria. Two nights, sans enfants, with a chance to explore the lakes, enjoy a meal without eye spy and maybe have a sleep in. It sounds absolutely perfect! Happy Valentine’s Day to me us. I was recieved these items in return for taking part in the Debenham’s Valentine’s campaign. All opinions, as ever, are my own. My full disclaimer can be found here.

The post Happy Valentine’s… to me. appeared first on Me, Annie Bee..

Weekly Winedown #22 Bioletti’s Block Pinot Noir.

Anna — Fri, 13 Oct 2017 18:46:02 +0000

Welcome to the Weekly Winedown. Each week I selflessly drink wine for you and offer a review. Please don’t expect anything professional, I consume a lot of wine but I’m no pro. The only real ‘rule’ I’m putting in place is that the wine is to be under £8 a bottle. #keepitclassy. Last week eh? The wine was awful but the ‘live’ was good fun. Erica and I really enjoyed doing it and I learnt a few things. 1) I need a time frame and a loose agenda. 2) I must not treat it like a night drinking with a friend! I’m afraid you can probably expect more in the future! For today, let us say ‘Hi y’all’ to Bioletti’s Block Pinot Noir. “But Anna” I hear you cry, “You’ve already done this one!” I forgive you for thinking that but no dear reader. In week 15 I tried the Bioletti’s Block Merlot. I went into it a cynic and came out of it a convert. Despite my reservations about American wine, my mind was blown. When I saw the Pinot Noir was half price I thought I’d give that a go, it’s got to be equally as amazing right? Just putting it out there Pinot, you’ve got a lot to live up to. Pressure’s on! The label Nice and simple in black, white and red-my palette of choice. It offers the maker, the name and vineyards with birds in flight. It is entirely unoffensive. Unless you’re a farmer (which I am not) and the birds have trashed your crops (which they have not). The blurb “This Pinot Noir is deep ruby red in colour, with intense aromas of ripe black cherries and flavours of ripe juicy plum with a subtle hint of cinnamon. This wine is well balanced, with a soft silky finish, a perfect match to a roast pork loin.” Cherries, plum and cinnamon, like winter in a bottle. At least I hope so. The claim that this pairs well with pork, suggests to me that it’s a big flavour. Hopefully not as sweet and insipid as some can be. If you’ve been following my Winedowns you’ll know Pinot Noir isn’t a favourite of mine. Traditionally thin and sweet, it’s the exact opposite to what I like. I’m hoping that this offers something slightly different. Sooooo. Expectations we high. Probably a little too high. No ones fault but my own. The smell was lovely, cherry and spice. Perfect. Like a disappointing date with Julio, it offered abundance but didn’t live up to the hype. The taste was tart plum, the finish was warm but not enough to pull it back. You can certainly ‘taste the sun’ but it has no place in this bottle. It wasn’t the worst Pinot Noir I’ve had but it certainly wasn’t the best. America, you make a good Merlot, stick to that. Name – Bertolli’s Block Pinot Noir Price – £5.99 (should be £11.99) Colour – Ruby Red Smell – Cherries and spice Taste – Tart plums. Goes well with – Salted crisps I should think. Overall score – 2.5/5

The post Weekly Winedown #22 Bioletti’s Block Pinot Noir. appeared first on Me, Annie Bee..