Last week I told you how we’d booked our holiday and was getting ready to begin the arduous and predictable task of buying holiday clothes.
Well, as anticipated, it has thus far been as fruitless and soul destroying a task as I had anticipated.
All the beautiful clothes are for beautiful people. All the clothes for me (aside from the poplin trousers) are boxy and vast, if they meet my strict requirements at all!
I have simple wants:
A pair of nice sandals
Or a number of each of these items.
It should be easy right?
I think part of my problem is I never look much further than supermarket clothes (which are OK). I’ve belittled myself into a corner where I won’t even look at ‘nice’ places as they probably won’t make fat clothes and besides, my income is very little nothing so I don’t look at pricier stuff. I know, I know, tiny violins.
Now is the time of year when bloggers are going summer wardrobe mad. It’s all ‘The summer capsule wardrobe’ or ‘How to get summer ready’ or ‘the most fantastic sandals ever’ or ‘Summer wish lists’.
So I decided to make myself feel better (or utterly destroy myself) I would make my own ‘wish list’ but it will be the wish list of me if I were 10 years younger, 4 stone lighter, half a foot taller, beautiful and employed.
So here is *drumroll*
The Holiday wish list of a middle-aged mum dreamer.
Given that I am ‘long term girlfriend’ to an accountant, his frugal ways have rubbed off on me and so I decided to see what bargains were to be had in the sales. Just because fantasy me had a job I’m not going to fritter all my money on clothes!
The first thing I found was a swimsuit for £6, WINNER. What could be wrong with it?
Well, even fantasy me draws the line at ridiculous tan lines.
That can’t even be comfortable can it ?
Unless you have no soft at all you’d be seeping through all the gaps.
It’s just not even practical, or pretty.
Fantasy me has a slightly bigger budget!
Because fantasy me likes the retro vibe, the even tan and absolutely does not need any boob or tummy support. Everything is absolutely where it should be and stays there.
Because fantasy me has children who don’t wipe their faces all over my clothes and so can wear white without worrying about messes.
Because fantasy me could totally glide around looking elegant in this. She has long enough legs that she won’t trip herself over and she has £200 to spend on a dress!?!
Because fantasy me loves this retro pattern and could walk in these no problem, even after a vin rouge or two!
In fact, real life me really likes these too.
It’s my birthday soon. #justsaying
Because fantasy me has a quirky side along with abs of steel. If you’ve got ’em flaunt ’em. Besides, who doesn’t want to spend £71 on a t-shirt? It’s made of cotton, not gold!
I did think that compiling this list would be easy as a skinnier, younger me but it wasn’t.
It seems what’s fashionable just isn’t for me!
This is probably going to be my actual holiday look this year, just a little less Emma Thompson facially.