There are the obvious things I miss from the BC (before children) years but I can live without
Not sharing my food
Peeing without an audience/running commentary
Being on time.
Then there are the things that I wish I could have at least bid a proper farewell to. If I’d have known it was the last time I’d have done it better.
I’ve never had an amazing figure but during the Party Years I managed to get it to a pretty good place, I liked it and everything was where it should be. Strictly speaking, giving up smoking was when the weight started creeping on but once I became pregnant with Aoife food freedom was found! Instead of spending lunchtimes fretting that someone would judge me for eating more than a dust salad with a side of fluff, I could legit eat sandwiches, crisps and things wrapped in pastry, it was immense! Now I’m just immense.
I used to have things like a waist and a jaw line. Now I have a kangaroo pouch and chins. Multiple. I live in fear of getting one of those huge necks that hang down from the chin and wobble and makes it look like your head is attached to your body with blancmange. In an attempt to rectify the figure (and hopefully avoid the neck thing) I’ve joined Slimming World, it’s coming off very slowly. By the time I have the figure for a short dress and hot pants I’ll be too old to wear them. I’m certainly no Kylie.
I miss the days of texting Rory telling him to meet me in The Vic at 5.30pm for a few beers then maybe head for cocktails. Instead I’m texting him to make sure he leaves work at 5.30pm prompt and comes home to tag me out because the children are on me.
I miss deciding at 6pm that we’ll go out for a pint or to the pictures because we can. Even if we had the luxury of a 24Hr babysitter on standby, The Figure has ensured that I can no longer throw something on. Instead I must try on numerous outfits, cry a while, get cross with myself then put on the first thing I tried. It’s all very time consuming and not very spontaneous.
Planned Nights Out
We may have a babysitter but still it’s not like the old days. We’ll be home before midnight and we don’t want to drink too much because a 6am start and a day of chatter with a hangover is most unpleasant. When we have the luxury of the children being at Grandma’s for a holiday we have every intention of living it large. One day last year we had brunch in Harrogate, went to the cinema in Leeds, then went to the pub for a few drinks before popping to Waitrose to buy something for tea. Three dates in one day and we were still home by 9.30pm. The Rock & Roll is there in spirit but not in action.
In the BC years a holiday might involve a bit of site seeing, reading on the beach, afternoon naps and late dinners. Even a hectic city break could be broken up by nipping into a bar or a restaurant without firstly checking there is a kids menu. Ambling round a Provencal market is now a 10 minute dash before the children are bored and we’re buying their ‘good’ behaviour with ice cream. A trip to the beach used to mean taking a towel and a book, now it’s a pop up tent, spare clothes, nappies, snacks, drinks, balls, buckets & spades. The whole time is then spent running back and forth to the sea
“but Daddy I’m sandy, I need to wash it off”
“oh no the sand is back, I need to wash it off again”…..
I used to love visiting hotels too, a chance to relax and unwind. Now it’s sitting silently, sipping wine in the dark at 7pm so the children can get to sleep.
|Bum shuffling trails|
I’ve always been one for a large handbag (you never know what you may acquire as the day goes on) but it generally contained the basics; purse, phone, keys, lip balm, eyeliner and a kite.
Now my handbag has been replaced by a messenger bag and the contents are substantial. At this exact moment my bag contains; purse, phone, keys, kite, reins, a nappy, nappy sacks, wet wipes, antibacterial gel, 2 wooly hats, 1 pair socks, 2 pairs gloves, some pebbles, some sand, a penny, a ticket, a Micky Mouse hairslide, some pencils, the best drawing ever, tissues (clean and used) a small hippo, a tiny pony purse, a gel pen that doesn’t work but I’m not allowed to throw away, a shopping bag and 2 notepads.
I used to love an afternoon of binge watching, CSI, Criminal Minds, Law & Order, American Horror Story. Alas all the shows I like contain swearing, blood and general disturbing behaviour so my daytime TV viewing has now been replaced by Ben & Holly, Paw Patrol and Toy Story, I even have a favourite character in each show.
To these amazing things I say goodbye. I miss you all greatly and live in hope of us reuniting one day.