There are the obvious things I miss from the BC (before children) years but I can live without
Not sharing my food
Peeing without an audience/running commentary
Being on time.
Then there are the things that I wish I could have at least bid a proper farewell to. If I’d have known it was the last time I’d have done it better.
Strictly speaking, giving up smoking was when the weight started creeping on but once I became pregnant with Aoife food freedom was found! Instead of spending lunchtimes fretting that someone would judge me for eating more than a dust salad with a side of fluff, I could legit eat sandwiches, crisps and things wrapped in pastry, it was immense!
Now I’m just immense.
My waist and jawline have been replaced but kangaroo pouch and chins.
I live in fear of getting one of those huge necks that hang down from the chin and wobble like a turkey. The kind that makes it look like your head is attached to your body with blancmange.
Spontaneous Nights Out
I miss deciding at 6pm that we’ll go out for a pint or to the pictures because we can.
Even if we had the luxury of a 24Hr babysitter on standby, ‘The Figure’ has ensured that I can no longer throw something on.
Instead I must try on numerous outfits, cry a while, get cross with myself then put on the first thing I tried.
It’s all very time consuming and not very spontaneous.
Planned Nights Out
We may have a babysitter but still it’s not like the old days. We’ll be home before midnight and we don’t want to drink too much because a 6am start and a day of chatter with a hangover is most unpleasant.
When we have the luxury of the children being at Grandma’s for a holiday we have every intention of living it large.
One day last year we had brunch in Harrogate, went to the cinema in Leeds, then went to the pub for a few drinks before popping to the shop to buy something for tea.
Three dates in one day and we were still home by 9.30pm.
The Rock & Roll is there in spirit but not in action.
In the BC years a holiday might involve a bit of site seeing, reading on the beach, afternoon naps and late dinners. Even a hectic city break could be broken up by nipping into a bar or a restaurant without firstly checking there is a kids menu.
Ambling round a Provencal market is now a 10 minute dash before the children are bored and we’re buying their ‘good’ behaviour with ice cream.
A trip to the beach used to mean taking a towel and a book, now it’s a pop up tent, spare clothes, nappies, snacks, drinks, balls, buckets & spades.
The whole time is then spent running back and forth to the sea
“but Daddy I’m sandy, I need to wash it off…Oh no the sand is back, I need to wash it off again”…..
I used to love visiting hotels too, a chance to relax and unwind. Now it’s sitting silently, sipping wine from a plastic cup in the dark at 7pm so the children can get to sleep.
A Normal Handbag
I’ve always been one for a large handbag (you never know what you may acquire as the day goes on) but it generally contained the basics; purse, phone, keys, lip balm, eyeliner and a kite.
Now my handbag has been replaced by a messenger bag and the contents are substantial.
At this precise moment my bag contains; purse, phone, keys, kite, reins, a nappy, nappy sacks, wet wipes, antibacterial gel, 2 wooly hats, 1 pair of socks, 2 pairs of gloves, some pebbles, some sand, a penny, a ticket, a Mickey Mouse hair slide, some pencils, the best drawing ever, tissues (clean and used) a small hippo, a tiny pony purse, a gel pen that doesn’t work(but I’m not allowed to throw away), a shopping bag and 2 notepads.
Watching Grown Up TV during the day
I used to love an afternoon of binge watching, CSI, Criminal Minds, Law & Order, American Horror Story.
Alas all of the shows I like contain swearing, blood and general disturbing behaviour.
My daytime TV viewing has now been replaced by Ben & Holly, Paw Patrol and Toy Story. I’m not too proud to admit I even have a favourite character in each show.
To all these amazing things I say goodbye.
I am sorry I took you for granted.
I miss you all greatly and live in hope of us reuniting one day.