My little big boy.

Saturday was a bit of a bittersweet day.

It was the open day at Aoife’s old preschool, the preschool we’re hoping to send Seth to in September.
On the one hand it was lovely. Aoife saw her old teachers, they remarked how grown up she was now and reminisced about her time at there with fondness, Aoife basked in the limelight.
On the other hand Seth, my last baby, is going to be going to preschool. It’s almost the beginning of a new chapter.

One looking back, one looking forward.


When Aoife started preschool Seth hadn’t even been born, it seemed barely five minutes ago and then suddenly we were stood there with a little boy who’s almost three, playing in the sand and showing us he is indeed ready to start this new journey. Well not QUITE ready, although he would be eligible to start in April the school like them to be near as damnit toilet trained and he still refuses to entertain the idea. He’s more impressed with the tricks he can do whilst sat on the toilet.

You really don’t want to know.

I’ve been asked many times why I don’t send Seth to nursery, even if only to get a bit of time to myself. It’s a perfectly legitimate question giving all the moaning I do. The answer is twofold and as we’re all a nice bunch here I know you’ll appreciate that my opinion may differ to yours and that’s OK.

Firstly, I don’t like the idea of private nursery. I KNOW some people don’t have the choice and have to use them but, simply put, I DO have the choice and I choose not to use them. I think my disdain comes from the one closest to our house. The one Seth would go to. It costs just under £40 a day to send a child there. They pop the babies into a triple buggy and wheel them down to the cafe where the staff drink lattes and the children….watch.
Yes, the children sit in the buggy watching.
If the children are older, they’re walked to the shops to buy whatever the nursery needs. We have a big old park round the corner but they go to the shops. If that’s the thrilling activity that goes on in public I can only imagine what goes on inside! As I have the choice, I choose to not spend £40 a day and let Seth watch me drink coffee and walk to the shop with me for free.

Secondly, and most importantly, because I am a SAHM, my children going to preschool is the beginning of the end. OK, that sounds a little dramatic but bear with me. From birth until preschool I’ve had my babies with me pretty much constantly. Initially it was me and Aoife, all day every day, then she went to preschool so we weren’t together all day, every day anymore just most of the day every day. And then real school started and she was suddenly spending more of her waking time there than with me.
I hated it. It’s OK though, I had back up.
Seth was with me all day every day but come September he will spend two and a half days at preschool. Then a year later, he too will spend most of his waking time at school until he is 18. Then both will be adults and won’t want to spend quite so much time with me anyway as they’ll have their own lives and not want to be with their nerdy (cool) mum.


So you see, once they enter the school system it’s the path to me seeing less and less of them. It’s a time when they grow faster and I feel like I’m missing it. As parents we’re always talking about how their childhood is fleeting, how it seems to go by so fast and  it does. So, that’s why I’m not sending Seth to preschool before I need to and that’s why I don’t need that time to myself just yet, because these are precious moments I’ll never get back and I want to enjoy them for as long as I can. Before he enters the system where he too is spending more of his waking time with people who aren’t me.

Yes, I will often complain I need a bit of space, I mean an inch or an hour. Yes, I’ll moan I’m tired, it’s human nature. Yes I feel like I can’t cope sometimes but I do cope.
In 18 months time I’ll be complaining my house is too quiet and I’m feeling pretty redundant.
I don’t need to rush that.

I’m off to drink wine and cry that my children are all grown up and don’t need me any more.

He’s not going to miss me at all.


Diary of an imperfect mum

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  • Kirsty - Winnettes

    New chapters are so hard on us mums, I swear! I think if you don’t want to use private nurseries then don’t! I send my eldest to one (on a preschool basis now) and she loves it and so do I. But that is because the staff do not take the kids out to watch them drink lattes! That is not appropriate (in my not so humble opinion). I don’t send my youngest there simply due to money. It costs £60 ish a day and as a SAHM I can’t justify that. She would really benefit from nursery though so I would love her to go. Ellie starts school in September and when we know where she is going I will sort out a preschool for Trix to start either September or January. Mean while I am enjoying our time together because like you say, their loves are flashing past my eyes!

    • Anna

      I should imagine the one I see isn’t how many are run but it still sways my opinion. As much as I find stuff to complain about, I love my time with my little man and I’m not ready for it to end. Thanks for reading x

  • Talya

    These new eras are so hard and I can totally get how hard this must be as a stay at home mum. It’s crazy how fast it all goes, and that we are supposed to just pick ourselves up and get on with it because the emotion behind it all is monumental. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xoxo

    • Anna

      I didn’t realise how emotional it would be. It’s really hard when you know baby would love nursery and people are telling you baby is bored with you.
      Am I selfish keeping him with me? Maybe.
      Thanks for reading x

  • Catherine

    Wow! What. A great little job they have at that nursery! ? Totally understand wanting to spend time with your little one. The time goes past so quickly and i can’just see my little girls first day at school appearing before I know and she is only one!! We have to enjoy this time as much as we can ?
    Lovely post! #ablogginggoodtime

    • Anna

      Enjoy every moment while you can. The school years are harder on us than them. Sometimes I completely understand why people have 10 children! Thanks for reading x

  • Catie: An imperfect mum

    Oh this is beautiful and I feel the same! School is The beginning of independence and you do have less time. Big hug ? Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime ?

  • Markus

    My boys only went to pre school about the last term before they were going to start reception year! We looked into nurseries and the like Early on and came to the conclusion that while I had a job Becky had a career and worked bloody hard to get where she was. So I became a SAHD! Pre school and subsequently reception class was quite a Schock to the system for them but they are in year 1 now and doing great!

    • Anna

      My daughter absolutely loved preschool and loves school. I KNOW my son will too. They’re completely unphased, it’s me who doesn’t cope 🙂 Thanks for reading.

  • Jo

    It is hard, isn’t it? I have three, two at school and one who has just started a playgroup attached to a pre-school. I totally get wanting to spend as much time with them as possible, I really miss my older two during the school day, but when I pick them up they still run into my open arms and we spend time playing and chatting after school. Although the way we spend our time together changes, I hope that I’m building a good foundation for open communication which will continue into their adulthood. I think as their mother, you will always be needed 😉

    • Anna

      I think that’s my real worry, that I’ll go from being the font of all knowledge and the fixer of all ills to just that woman who cooks tea 🙂 Thanks for reading

  • The Tale of Mummyhood

    I’ve been thinking about nursery these past couple of weeks, I’ve been tired and feeling a little overwhelmed. Thinking about it will be where it ends though. I know I won’t use a nursery, so preschool will be the beginning of the end for me too! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza, hope to see you again next week xx

  • mums' army

    You can only do what feels right for you and your family so nursery or not we just do what we think is best. The early years do fly by so fast even though sometimes the days feel like they go on forever (when the tantrums start) so I dont blame you for wanting to enjoy every minute of them while they are young. I have 2 boys and they are still under 4 so not at school until september but I sometimes daydream about what I would do if they get in their 20’s and tell me they are moving to Australia. I would find it hard not to hold on to their ankles and say ‘dont leave mummy’ and go with them! xx #Blogstravaganza

    • Anna

      My children are obviously going to buy houses next door to one another and with granny flats for me to stay in. I’m sure they’ll be up for that 🙂 Thanks for reading. x

  • Jenn @ Mad Mommy

    I can relate. While I do still have one at home (7 months currently) my 4 1/2 year old will be starting school full time in the fall. While I know that he is beyond ready, I cannot say the same about myself! Stay strong mama, and just know that you are doing something right when they are ready to go! #Blogstravaganza

    • Anna

      That’s the problem isn’t it? They are totally ready and largely unbothered. It’s us poor mums left home! Thanks for reading 🙂

  • Lucy At Home

    Ah this is exactly how I feel! People keep asking my why I don’t send my youngest (2.5yrs) to preschool to “get her ready for nursery”. Answer? Because I like her being at home, and she likes being at home, and I thought the idea of nursery was to get them ready for school. It seems like a but of a scam to then have preschool, to get them ready for nursery, to get them ready for school.

    I know they do lots more structured educational activities in preschool than I do at home, but is growing up all about education? Not in my opinion. We take trips to the park and we watch the flowers grow. We go shopping and decide what cereal to buy. We go to baby groups and play nicely (ish!) with the other children. She might not be having a formal education but she’s learning an awful lot.

    I’m dreading the day that she starts nursery. It really is such a massive step. Like you, I had a back-up last time because I was pregnant when my eldest started nursery. This time, it’s just me, myself and I. Eeek!


Thanks for reading, I'd love to know what you think.

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