Let’s talk baby weight.

Let’s talk baby weight.

It’s something we all think about at some point, or I do.

Some of us promise ourselves that when we finally have babies we will never let ourselves go.
Some of us barely put weight on at all.
Some of us decide to eat for two because, y’know, breastfeeding makes us lose weight quickly.
Some of us think it’s ‘good’ weight so we’re not bothered.
Some of us are  still sporting a little bit lot of excess a few *cough* 6 *cough* years down the line.

Whatever your scenario is it doesn’t matter.
As long as you’re happy and comfortable it’s OK.

You made, grew and housed another human, or two, or more.
That’s more important than many other things (I won’t commit to ALL other things because, wine)

What’s Dad’s excuse?

Before there’s a Dad uprising, I’m not talking all Dads, some don’t gain weight at all.
But amongst my friends, acquaintances and strangers whose life I watch from afar but do not stalk, there are a fair few Dads that gained a few pounds since their other half fell pregnant.

They’ve not grown a human so where does dad baby weight come from?

It’s a three part process*.

• Maternity Makes The blooming Mum-to-Be starts her maternity leave. If she’s lucky she has a couple of weeks until baby arrives. The house is spotless, everything is ready, they’re just waiting for baby. Mum-to-Be is in ‘box-set’ mode. She is going to take the time to catch up on all the programmes she loves BUT she feels a slight pang of guilt for sitting doing nothing. She doesn’t want to look lazy so she cooks. She makes cakes, she makes big one pot meals, she makes and she makes. Then she has evidence that she didn’t just sit watching TV all day. When baby arrives this all calms down for a while but soon Mum feels confident in their little routine and wants to start feeling human again. What better way than cooking and baking? Aside from making her feel ‘normal’ (what is that anyway?) again it, again, provides evidence of ‘doing useful things’. After all, some don’t realise keeping baby alive is bloody hard work

• Weaning wobble From 6 months baby is starting to wean. Whether Mum is cooking wonderful, nutritious meals or whether she’s offering pitta, hummus, Wotsits and chocolate buttons there is always left overs. Extra food left on the kitchen side that baby didn’t eat. Mum can’t be arsed to cook half an omlette, half a slice of toast, half a fishfinger or what not. In fact, it’s almost impossible to cook in halves and life is too short! Dad spies it when he gets in from work, he eats it – just to keep him going until tea. After all, it’s a waste otherwise.

• Toddler tub Baby is no longer a baby, he is a toddler. Ideally he isn’t yet ruined and will still eat pretty much anything. There are still a few leftovers for Dad – just to keep him going until tea. At this stage Mum is feeling less guilt about reminding herself who she is. She’s going out a bit more, whether to the gym, night classes, dance lessons or for cocktails with the girls. This is the perfect time for Dad and toddler bonding. It can often involve hot dogs, pizza, crisps and chips. There might be some ice cream or chocolate or both. There’s probably some milkshake too – it is Dad and Toddler’s Day of Fun after all, anything goes! Dad can then celebrate a successful day keeping his buddy safe and well with a take out and maybe a beer.

All of this paired with the fact that Dad can no longer ‘play football’ four times a week leads to that inevitable new dad baby weight gain.

*This is my entirely unscientific theory. No facts were harmed in writing this post.

 

 

 

This post was first published here