Santa Baby, just slip a short break under the tree, for me.
Just a night will do, Santa baby,
I’m so bloody tired tonight.
Santa baby, a meal without a kids menu too,
And a babysitter,
Santa baby, send Spanx down the chimney tonight.
Think of all the horrific playdates,
Think of times I used to have grown up mates.
Next year I’ll cope reluctanly,
PLEASE just grant one Christmas wish,
Santa baby, I wanna bath,
And really, that’s not a laugh,
Been a mother all year,
Santa baby, send bubbles down the chimney tonight.
Santa honey, one little thing I really do need,
Alone without a song.
Santa baby, send earplugs down the chimney tonight.
Santa cutie, and fill my glass with some spiced rum
But don’t forget the lime.
Santa cutie, send ice down the chimney tonight.
Come and trim my Christmas tum,
Maybe liposuction now that I’m a mum,
I really do believe in you,
Please, please, please believe in me,
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing,
It’s been ten long years now.
Santa baby, send an offer down the chimney tonight,
Hurry down the chimney tonight,