Today I got to thinking of all the things the grown ups told me and my friends that filled us with fear.
Things that I know now to be ‘untruths’ or ‘LIES’ but at the time, to our young and impressionable minds, seemed completely legitimate.
Hot dogs come from dogs legs.
This one really messed with me, especially when one bonfire night the dog had gone upstairs scared of the bangs and we had hot dogs for tea. WTF MOTHER?
If you swallow chewing gum it’ll wrap round your heart.
I believed this for such a long time then one day it clicked, errant broccoli doesn’t wrap round your heart. Why? Because your food doesn’t go that way!
If you eat seeds from fruit a tree will grow in your tummy.
Apple seeds in particular are tiny and easily consumed in error, imagine all the accidental body trees!
If you go to the hospital they’ll scrub the cut with a scrubbing brush before they stitch you up.
Thanks to this beauty from my Dad I have a right scar on my leg – good job he didn’t go into medicine he’d have been done for medical negligence by now!
If you eat paper/raw potatoes you’ll get worms.
This still sounds like it could be legit to me. I don’t know in what scenario I’d have been eating paper and quite frankly it makes me want to avoid potatoes entirely still.
If you sleep with your feet crossed they’ll drop off.
This wasn’t from my parents but when my school friend passed on this gem of information I did fret a lot. Even now I have a little worry that I might accidentally cross my feet in my sleep! THEN WHAT?
If the wind changes you’ll stay like that.
A classic – used up and down the land. Grown ups would do ANYTHING to stop us having fun and pulling faces. The imaginative grown ups would know someone who DID stay like that when the wind changed and it was AWFUL.
If you pick your nose your head will cave in.
Again, this was a physiological impossibility but still not worth the risk. I’ve caught myself saying this to Seth a lot.
If you sit on the cold floor you’ll get piles.
I didn’t even know what piles were but the way my mum said it implied I really didn’t want them.
If you don’t tidy your toys I’ll throw them in the bin.
It was never going to happen, they paid for those toys they weren’t just going to bin them.
If you eat too much *insert food* you’ll turn into it.
Funnily enough that didn’t stretch to vegetables did it? No one wants to risk becoming cake though.
If you play with your willy it’ll drop off.
Obviously, this was never told to me as I wasn’t a boy but can you imagine the fear everytime you had an itch??
So there we have it.
Proof if proof were needed that being a parent and a pathological liar go hand in hand!
What fibs were you told as a child?
Thanks to Erica from The Incidental Parent for sharing some of the fibs she was told in the olden days.
This post is a collaboration.