Hi 1993? It’s me, you!

A friend posted this on my Facebook timeline….

“.on reflection…having lived a fun and interesting ‘couple of years’* since your teens, what 10 things would you tell/teach your 15 year old self if you could?

(I imagine your 15 year old self will only listen to you)
*maybe more than a couple 😉 x”

My 15 year old self existed in a town called Hartlepool in 1993/4.

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Me at 15. Not a goth.

1) Drop this tie-dye/flares shit. It’s shapeless and unflattering, the ‘alternative’ thing really doesn’t suit you. Indie & Emo will be along in a few years, embrace it. Skinny jeans, monochrome and good hair is more you. Two things to remember (i) black or red hair always suits you better (ii) a fringe is never wrong.

2) You’re not fat. For serious, you think you are but you’re not.  You are going to get fat in a couple of years then from 2006-8 it will drop off you’ll have a great figure (you’ll still think you’re fat though). Unfortunately you’ll get really fat again after you’ve had children. Yes you have children. Take that look off your face, we’ll talk about that in a minute. Pastry is NOT a craving you should give in to. In the meantime maybe exercise a bit. Running should do. In about 20 years running will be really cool. Stay ahead of the                                                                  game!

3) Don’t be jealous of those girls from school who seem to be all that. In a couple of years they’ll have a life that completely doesn’t interest you. In 23 years you’ll wonder why you were ever jealous, some of them are grandparents already, that really wouldn’t make you happy. Also, some of them do not age well.

4) Don’t worry about fitting into a group, you don’t and you never will but that’s actually OK. Be happy and comfortable being you and, believe it or not, some people will wish they we’re more like you (try not to put your ‘majorly freaked out face’ on when they tell you-Awkward)

5) Children aren’t actually the spawn of satan. Well YOURS aren’t (others are). Yes you have children. Don’t think about it too hard just yet, you have a long while before you need to think about it.The first born is very much like you, try to remember this when you feel like you’re arguing with a wall when it is five!  In 15 years this insistence that you couldn’t possibly have children because you’re too selfish and would be an utterly terrible mother will pass. Until then remain selfish, in fact I suggests you try being MORE selfish.

6) Anyone who treats you badly should be cast aside instantly. You’re going to have some self esteem issues and some people like to play on that. Be strong. They will always be sorry but they will never change. As long as they feel more powerful and superior than you they’ll continue to be a grade A c**t. You don’t need that, you’re a stronger person than you think.

7) DO NOT GET MARRIED*.  Move in with him, buy a house, think it’s a love everlasting  and see the relationship through but don’t get married. It will seem like the natural progression it’s just a way of trying to justify yourself and feel like you’re worth something. If you find yourself at the altar, crying and the vicar asks “do you want to take a moment” take it. Take it and run. People will be pissed off but they’ll get over it. It’s a massive pain in the arse changing all your details when you get divorced.

8) On Christmas eve 2010, you’ll get a phone call from a very old school friend. You’ll be exhausted with a new baby and breast feeding woes.  She’ll be a bit drunk and very unhappy. She’ll tell you things that are making her sad, she’s very lonely.
You will listen and feel sad and you’ll tell her you’re there and you’ll mean it. You’ll tell her you’ll ring on Boxing Day but exhaustion means you’ll forget. Then you’ll forget again. PLEASE take a moment, put it in your phone calendar (that’s an actual thing in the future) and call her.

9) Be true to yourself and have confidence in yourself. You don’t have to be mean but you do have to be honest. Don’t waste time with people you don’t want to be with. Don’t waste time doing things that you don’t want to do. Do what makes YOU happy because no one else is thinking about your happiness. Some people just won’t like you, don’t waste time trying to win them over, they probably aren’t worth the effort. From 2006-2008 you will be in a very strange place, you’ll be partying hard just remember to respect yourself and stay safe.

10) You will be given an ultimatum, stay in Leeds or go home. You’ll be happy in Leeds but you MUST go back. It will be your biggest regret, you’ll have a shit job at a call centre, you’ll no longer be in that art loop that you so desperately want to be in for your future career and you’ll be stuck in a silly little town but you HAVE to do it.

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Me  at 38, still not a goth!

If you don’t make the same choices I did then you might not end up as ME. Yes you MAY end up in a better place, or you may not. I wouldn’t risk it. To you, right now at 15 I may seem like a frumpy, almost 40 year old but I’m frickin’ awesome. My life is great, I’m happier than I’ve ever been before, I have an amazing man and our family is fantastic. Although you have a LOT of good times to come there will be some tough times along the way. There will be sadness and hurt that you feel like you can’t survive, lows that you feel you can’t escape. I could advise you of paths to take to avoid those things but I’m afraid you need them to become me.

A couple of other things

  • Regret the things you’ve done, not those things you haven’t done.
  • Accountants aren’t all boring.
  • Rum is your drink of choice, you’ll never like cider.
  • Learn French.
  • Curry is good.
  • The amount of friends you have is irrelevant, it’s the quality of friend that counts.

What 3 things would you tell your 15 year old self?

*Before 2016

Mummuddlingthrough

 

Diary of an imperfect mum

 

11 thoughts on “Hi 1993? It’s me, you!

  1. I just love this. When I was 29 I wrote similar to my 19 year old self. It’s quite an emotional thing to do, makes me realise how much has changed and evolved. This is my favourite post I’ve read this week. #ablogginggoodtime

    1. Ah, thanks so much for such a lovely comment. I was surprised at how tricky I found writing this. I’ve probably said a hundred times “if I could go back in time I’d change this or do that” then when I REALLY think about the impact it would have on now I wouldn’t risk it. It hurts my head thinking about it! *goes to lay in dark room*

  2. What a brilliant thing to appear on your Facebook. I want to do it too. You should make it a Blogger Tag!
    Loved these lessons:
    Regret the things you’ve done, not those things you haven’t done.
    The amount of friends you have is irrelevant, it’s the quality of friend that counts.
    I think it’s great to hear how happy you are now. Perhaps it’s being in your 40’s because I honestly feel the same. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

    1. Thanks for your lovely comment. I should imagine that what may seem intriguing is probably quite boring! I wasn’t being intentionally vague 😀 Thanks for taking the time to read and for leading the gang,

  3. Love this. I’d forgotten all about the tie-dye craze – it wasn’t a good look although I thought it was the best thing ever at the time! Great advice to your 15 year old self especially the bit about not being jealous of the girls at school that are all that. So true that once you get a few years down the line, you no longer care anyway. I remember my older sisters telling me that at the time – it’s hard to believe when you’re in the middle of all that teenage angst though. #coolmumclub

    1. Thanks for taking the time to read. I’m dreading the time when my children will be making ‘mistakes’ abd fretting over the irrelevant, I’ll want to fix it, they won’t want to listen and I’ll have to sit on the sidelines watching it all play out. I should imagine that’s how my mum felt all them years ago!

  4. Your writing is beautiful ❤ and I do imagine this was quite difficult to write. It choked me up in a few places and you’ve inspired me to write something similar. Teenage me doesn’t sound too dissimilar to teenage you, and funnily enough I was just down the road in Middlesbrough 😂 As you’ve commented above too, it’s incredibly difficult to advise your younger self because had we taken that advice, we wouldn’t be exactly where we are now, and would we change that? Ouch, brain ache! Take care ☺

    1. Aww dude thank you. I initially accepted the challenge because I thought it would be simple, I was wrong. It must be that that bit of the North East creates two types of girls, those who are parents at 14 and cool ones! I jest of course, I’m not really making sweeping generalisations. It does hurt my head thinking about how different life could be if only one little thing had been done differently! Thanks for reading 🙂

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