Happy Monday

Seth *turns off DVD. Cries*
Me *turns DVD back on*
Aoife *closes Mathletics tab on laptop*
Me *logs her back in*

Seth *pushes Tivo buttons so Minions goes off again. Cries*
Me *Puts it back on again*
Aoife *’Accidentally’ closes Mathletics again*
Me *logs her back in*

Xabi *scared of the wind, bombing round the house mewing like a mad cat*
Seth *laughs. Tries to catch Xabi*
Aoife *logs back out of Mathletics*
Me *Shuts down laptop*

Aoife *declares hate for me and laptop*
Me *calmly explains she can try again tomorrow as she’d frozen the laptop*
Aoife * shoves me*

Takes a breath

Me * less calmly advises her to go to the naughty step*
Aoife * refuses*
Me *strongly suggests she go*
Aoife *goes but renames it the good step*
Me *reiterates that it is indeed the naughty step*
Aoife *calls it good step*
Me *shuts door and mutters “naughty step” under breath feeling triumphant.
Aoife *yells through door “GOOD STEP”*

Shit

Aoife *asks how long on the step*
Me *reminds her it’s one minute for each year, therefore five minutes*
Aoife *suggests three*
Me *points out it’s not a negotiation*
Louis *starved of affection keeps clawing my stomach*
Seth *sneaks up and pulls Louis’ tail*

Aoife *points out the naughty step is boring so “let’s call it two minutes”
Me *Strongly suggests she stop shouting as it’s five minutes and will only increase*
Aoife * checks every 15 seconds whether it’s been 5 minutes and then suggests that maybe I don’t know how long 5 minutes is*
Me *reminds Aoife that of the two of us, I’m the one who can tell the time*
Aoife *serves her five minutes, re-enters living room and apologises*
Me * gives her a hug and reminds her we don’t shove*

Some time later

Seth *sleeps*
Aoife *sleeps*
Me *drinks wine*

Happy Monday.