We are family.

My favourite part of being our family of four is that we’re a unit.
We stick together.
We’re an invincible team.
I love it! (My current least favourite thing is Seth keep hiding under his bed, shouting he’s stuck and refusing to come out but that’s a different story)
However, I have been wondering recently if I am taking this togetherness, this camaraderie, too far.

Let’s not stick things to my face.
We don’t want to eat the sweet that fell in the drain.
Let’s not pick that stick up.
We don’t draw on the walls.
We don’t nip each other.
We don’t lick walls.
We don’t need anymore sticks.
We don’t lay on the floor in the rain.
We don’t touch all the satsumas.
We definitely don’t throw the satsumas, they’re not ours.
We don’t leave half eaten apples under the couch.
We don’t stick our hands up mummy’s top.
Let’s not honk mummy’s boobs.
We don’t throw plates.
Let’s not touch other people.
We don’t spit water down ourselves.
We don’t climb on each other.
We don’t push other people.
We don’t snatch things.
We don’t need to scream.
Let’s use our indoor voices.
We don’t want to jump in that puddle, we haven’t got our wellies on.
Let’s not dig in that mud.
We don’t pull the cat’s tail.
We don’t bite.

These are the things I’m saying all the time.

WE shouldn’t do that.
LET US not touch that.
I’m taking part of the responsibility for all the these things which seems rather unfair as I have no problem with touching what’s not mine. I share well, I don’t scream (although I rather feel like it at times), I don’t lay on the floor in the street, I don’t touch all the fruit in the supermarket and I don’t have an obsession with boobs so why do I say these things in such a way that I am taking part responsibility for them?
Anyone listening would think I’m a gropey kleptomaniac bully who likes to lay down in public places whilst shouting!

FYI I’m not.

The Tale of Mummyhood


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14 thoughts on “We are family.

  1. Haha! I’ve never realised this but yup, we do say this, don’t we?!
    My toddler licks everything…he started licking the kitchen floor the other day whilst yelling “Pizza! Pizza!” And that’s not something we should ever be doing as a family ?

      1. Oh my..I feel you. My boy is only just getting the hang of not running the hell away from wherever we are so he hasn’t been let loose in an eatery yet (always been pushchair>highchair>pushchair) I would never judge a KFC diner! We moved from being 10 minutes walk from Mcdonalds/the Hut/Subway/KFC/ and hundreds of restaurants and takeaways to the back of beyond. I don’t eat meat but I still love fast food. Nearest KFC to here is 1 HOUR!! drive away.

  2. thank goodness it’s not just me! sometimes I find myself repeating the same thing over and over again… I get so fed up of the sound of my own voice! x

  3. Oh god yes, that’s me all over. It’s funny but i’ve never really thought about it before! It’s time these kids took some accountability lol!
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

  4. Ha I love this! (Also just read your above comment: “We don’t put our willy in our belly button!” Brilliant. My baby is just 6 months old so I’ve got this to come!

    1. Oh once it starts it doesn’t stop, it’s mostly hilarious but sometimes you hear what you’re saying and think ‘never in my days did I imagine ANYONE would need to say such a thing!’ Enjoy it all! Thanks for reading

  5. My current top 3 are: Stop kicking each other; stop licking that; get off the counter! It’s driving me crazy! I have never licked the car window, kicked my husband or sat on the kitchen counter! Testing for sure!

    1. I think the time I surprised myself the most was when I had to ask ‘when did we start thinking it was OK to wipe bogeys on the car door?’
      Thanks for reading 🙂

  6. Yes! I feel like I’m always being boring and negative, but I suppose we do have to teach them the ways of the world. And I can imagine the looks if I started licking things in Tesco… #blogstravaganza

  7. This made me laugh, I say so many of those things too. I’m sure I’ve never actually done any of them though, haha! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza, hope to see you again next week! xx

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