Too tired to human today.

I’m tired.
I know we’re all tired.
We’re all parents and it’s our default position but I’m REALLY tired, almost at exhausted.
I’m too tired to human.

I’m so tired that resting bitch face is my default and I can’t change that.
It’s as if my brain has gone into energy save mode and my facial movements are low priority.
I’m left with this sagging, grumpy looking, jowly thing where my normal face should be.

I’m so tired that my blinks get longer and longer until Seth screeches “WAKE UP MUMMY” or cockadoodledoos in my face.
Most annoying.

I’m so tired that even coffee isn’t taking the edge off.
I’m so tired that I don’t know if I’ve said something or just thought it.
I almost certainly haven’t done it though.

So yeah, I’m tired.

I know I shouldn’t complain because some of you are more tired than me and are up more times in the night than me.
In fact, last year I was up more times in the night than I am now but it passed and I became used to sleep again.
But I am complaining.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew when I had babies I would suffer a lot of sleep deprivation, not cool but part and parcel of this parenting in lark.

But I’ve done my time!

When I could barely function with an 8 week old I was reassured it would pass.

“By the time they’re 3 or 4 you’ll have forgotten all about it”

THEY WON’T LET ME FORGET.

I’m now the proud owner of a 3 and a 6 year old and I’m still remembering.
Granted, I’m not the most tired I’ve ever been but I’m slowly getting there.

I shouldn’t be up in the night then awake before dawn has even cracked.

You’re probably thinking it’s the toddler right?
Wrong.
Well partly wrong.

He is the reason that we are roused from 4.20am when he’s had enough sleep.
He is the reason we saw many a glorious sunrise whilst on holiday.

During the night Aoife is our main protagonist.
The one who should be gradually heading toward sleeping in until noon is the worst sleeper in the house.

Nightly, one of us has to make our way to her room to stop her shouting.
The level of shouting indicates emergency.
What could possibly be wrong?

Well, there’s the classic

“My covers need tucking in the bottom of my bed”

Yes, she manages to untuck her covers and so she shouts one of us to come and fix them for her.
Obviously.
It’s not like she’s even the length of the bed, her feet are nowhere near the bottom!

Another regular is

“I need a drink”

She wakes us from our slumber requesting a drink.
I’m not a bad person, I don’t begrudge my children a drink day or night.
In fact, I enable the drinking by putting a bottle of water in her room.
Not just in her room but RIGHT NEXT TO HER HEAD.
She has a top bunk so there’s a corner to put the water to save her getting out of bed OR WAKING THE WHOLE HOUSE.

My current favourite is this beauty though

“I’ve woken up”

Really.

“You’ve woken up so you shouted and woke ME up to tell me you woke up.
At 2.40 am.
You could have woken up and thought to yourself ‘I’ve woken up’ then gone back to sleep.
You really didn’t need to shout me to tell me you’d woken up, especially when there’s nothing else to the conversation other than alerting me to the fact you’re awake.
I’m now awake, who am I going to tell?”

 

I’m tired.