Caring for your parents

Caring For Your Parents With Kids of Your Own

If you’ve got ageing parents, the idea of caring for them when you have kids of your own and a life to live can be extremely stressful. However, there are a few ways you can take a weight off your shoulders and make it far easier for everybody. Read on to find out how:

What To Do If Your Kids Are Acting Out

Your kids may act out if you’re under a lot of pressure and they don’t feel like you’re giving them the attention and emotional support they need. Deep down, they are likely just as anxious about what’s going on as you are. They may feel ignored, anxious about what’s going to happen, and have lots more confusing feelings. They may even just be picking up on the ‘vibe’ of your household and reacting to that. 

It’s important to remember that unless somebody is in imminent danger, then you should relax a little bit. It’s not a crisis. It could be a big issue, but it’s not a crisis. Take some deep breaths and bring yourself back to the present moment while bringing yourself out of fight or flight mode. Breathing sounds so simple and cliche, but it really can help.  

Stop Catastrophizing

It’s easy to lay awake at night and think of the worst case scenarios for everything going on right now, but thinking about things in this way will only make it worse. Instead, write a list of the things worrying you along with actionable steps you can take. You can only do what you can do, and you can’t control everything. Try to only focus on what you can control. If there’s no evidence that you’re going to have a ‘worst case scenario’ on your hands, don’t assume and overthink it. 

Ask For Help If You Need It

If somebody offers to help you, don’t automatically turn it down. Don’t hesitate to take it. You need a break, too, and if somebody has offered they likely want to help you very much. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, either. You need a break and some respite, too. 

Have Difficult Conversations

If you have ageing parents and kids, you’re going to need to have some difficult conversations at some point. You may live a long way from your parents, and you may not be able to reach them as quickly as you would like if something were to happen. What are you going to do if your parents have a medical crisis? Knowing their wishes now will mean you can respect them later on. Perhaps you could even discuss whether moving them to a place like could be right for them if they are struggling to care for themselves. This may feel embarrassing for you, but it’s better to have these conversations when everybody is able and healthy. 

Caring for parents when you have your own family and responsibilities is tough, but that’s why you need to remember to be kind to yourself, too. 

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