(S)he who does not ask remains a fool forever…..

It’s that time again, HALF TERM.
Time for me to do some of that ‘proper parenting’ that I’ve heard about….

Obviously it’s blowing a hoolie outside (well it IS June) so we’re mostly in house.
Aoife being here full time has made me realise exactly how many questions she asks me and this led me to think about all the questions I ask in a day…

Why do children never use their indoor voices indoors?

Why do Thomas the tank engine & his friends have drivers if the drivers don’t actually control them?
Why aren’t the humans scared?

Why does Seth need to walk up the street backwards leaning on my legs?

Why must Aoife pick up every feather she finds on the street and rub it on her face?

Where are Max & Ruby’s parents?

Why does Seth need to start eating stones the minute we’re going to cross the road?

Why do drivers get a grumpy face on when you don’t want to cross the road into fast flowing traffic just because they were kind enough to stop for you?

Is sausage roll and popcorn a balanced and nutritious lunch?

Do the Bananas in Pyjamas eat other fruits?

Why does Seth touch his food or cup to his neck before he eats it?

How can Aoife suddenly dislike the very meatballs that she’s loved for the last three years?

Why is Blaze the only monster machine with a driver?
Why aren’t the humans scared?

What time is ‘too early’ for wine?

Why do children need less sleep than me?

Why do you get an itchy nose when you’re holding hands with two children and trying to carry a heavy bag of shopping?

Why can’t my children stay on their feet?

Why do they have a delay in responding to anything I say but have bat like hearing when food stuffs are being opened in a different room?

Why does Xabi give teeth kisses when he wants to be stroked?

Why do I have a conservatory full of toys when they show no interest in them until I want to get rid of them?

Why do they have more clothes than me?

Why does no one tell Peppa Pig off for being rude?

Why do they have better social lives than me?

Why don’t they sleep when they get tired?

Are we really the rulers of our own destiny?

Why do they make that awful ‘I’m actual choking’ noise every time I go to the loo?

Why are they allowed to talk and sing constantly but I’m not?

Why in Paw Patrol is an 11 year old boy in charge of emergencies and a woman with a chicken voted in as Mayor?
Why is no one worried about talking dogs?

Why are they willing to attempt to scale bookcases to reach something but aren’t able to reach for their own drink right in front of them?

How did I fill my time before children?

Why can’t they walk around people in shops instead of trying to walk through them?

If all the male fairies  are adults and they only have daughters, who will eventually rule the Little Kingdom?

Why do they shout ‘HELP’ in their ’emergency’ voice for non emergencies?

Why don’t children like to try new things?

Why does Seth like Postman Pat the movie so much when it’s so very clearly flawed from start to finish?

Why do the good things taste so bad and the bad things taste so good?

Why don’t diet and exercise work right away? More people would stick to it I’m sure.

When will the Wise Old Elf and Nanny Plum get together?

Ugg boots and shorts-how can your feet and ankles be cold but your knees and thighs be warm?

Why do children say “look at this….NO CLOSE YOUR EYES”

Should I worry that it’s quiet in there or just appreciate the peace?

Why does Seth kangaroo kick me in the throat every time I change his nappy?

Why do they insist on standing on my feet?

Why can’t they get off my knee without using their elbows/pointy bits?

If they accidentally kill me by constantly leaping on me will anyone be able to get in the house to retrieve my body before the cats start eating me?

Is it time for bed yet?

Why is my wine consumption directly related to their behaviour?

How can the sun go on holiday if it’s got no hands to use the internet? (This is Aoife’s contribution)

The Tale of Mummyhood



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