Out of the mouths of babes.

I have never hidden the fact that I’m not fond of children that aren’t mine. Heck, I’ve even written a post about OPC.
I will admit though, over the last few months I’ve become well practised at playdates and I’m becoming more tolerant (or I’m choosing Aoife’s friends for her more wisely…) and I actually find them entertaining now.

Watching the interaction between Aoife and her friends I was surprised to notice that even at 5  girls are more into one upmanship than boys.

A conversation with a girl will go
“I have Toy Story 1, 2 & 3 on DVD”
“Well I have 1,2,3,4,5 AND 6”

A conversation with a boy will go
“I have Toy Story 1,2 & 3 on DVD”

Saying that, I recently discovered that the one upmanship between 5 year old boys is VERY different. A friend told me that her son Buddy* came home and declared
“Juan said his daddy had a bigger willy than my daddy.”
Lord only knows what conversation Juan and his daddy were having!

Generally though, the conversation I hear amongst them have me smiling to myself a lot.

“Pretend it’s my birthday”
“Pretend I’m a Princess”
“Pretend this is my kingdom”
“Pretend I’m dead!”

“I don’t like pepperoni pizza”
“Me either”
“I don’t too”

“This is the best ball I’ve EVER been to!”

“She called me a poopoo head”
“She TOLD me to call her a poopoo head”

“I want to sit next to her”
“So you two swap seats”
“At least we can hold hands here”

“Who’s been squirting stuff?”
“No one, we’ve just been putting your lipstick on”.

“We’re twins”
“We’re twins too, except we have different trainers & different clothes”
“And your hair is different too”
“Yes, my hair is different”
“And we’re not sisters”


“Can we have the Snow White dress?”
“No, it causes too many arguments”
“No it doesn’t”
“Yes it does”
“No it doesn’t”
“My point is proven”

“We brushed our teeth upstairs”
“Did everyone bring a toothbrush?”

“What’s a cigarette?”
“It’s a long thing you put in your mouth and you get this thing made of fire and set fire to it then it makes your teeth go yellow then brown then black”

“Let’s play football, I’ll be the black team (she has a red top on) and you be the red team (you guessed it).”

“Let’s play football, I’ll be the guard of the goal”
(The Guard of the Goal sounds SO much more impressive that goalie)




*Names have been changed to protect identities….Of the daddies.

Thanks for reading, I'd love to know what you think.

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