The On This Day function on Facebook is one that entertains me no end. My statuses (stati?) pre children are a joyous mix of alcohol, partying, drama and ennui. The post children ones, a mix of delight, awe, sleep deprivation, photos and milestones.
I’m not going to apologise for that.
My favourite stati are the ’10 things’ ones, I love a good nosey into the lives of others, so I decided we should play today!
10 things about me
1) I have a Masters degree
Lots of people know that but they assume it’s in Art and it’s just ‘drawing and stuff’. My MA is actually in Art Gallery and Museum studies and it was bloody hard work and I’m actually pretty clever y’all. I can do drawing and schizz too.
2) I am really sarcastic
Sometimes I just can’t help myself. It’s mostly a defence thing, like spraying verbal venom in self defence. I’m REALLY funny though. Really funny. I always make myself laugh no end. Some people don’t get my humour though which can be awkward. For them. Not me. Obvs.
3) I love vintage
I would love to have lived in the 40s & 50s. The good Hollywood 40s & 50s. I’d have been stylish and glam. I’d have swooshed about looking sultry and probably a little mysterious. I’d have Lindy hopped like a pro. I’d have probably hated the actual, real life post war era where times were hard. Scrubbing the step and beating the carpet in my house coat with curlers in my hair and 12 mucky faced children.
4) I’m a bit of a nerd
I love superheroes, comic books, Dr Who, Korean and Japanese films and nerdy things like that. I’ve always liked the idea of an archenemy (Feel free to apply) or maybe even BEING an archenemy.
5) I am scared of slugs
It’s a stupid fear but what’s MORE stupid is that the fear came from reading a book. One of those trashy horror books where the slugs were carnivorous and got inside people then started eating them from the inside out whilst breeding at the same time at a rapid rate. I KNOW it’s a ludicrous idea but I will still give a slug a wide berth!
6) I’m not maternal
I LOVE my children with all my heart. I think they’re hilarious and wonderful but I generally don’t like other people’s children. I worry that my children will see how I’m not maternal toward other children and then I worry that it will have an impact on how they will grow and the values they will have and whether they will still love me and whether I’m doing the best for them. My head could explode with the worry.
7) I’m super shy
I can seem a bit standoffish and aloof (or mysterious, intelligent and brooding), I’m actually just trying really hard not to say something completely stupid and idiotic or act like a dickhead. I’m also a bit wary of new people so I watch a lot.
I find it easier not to like many people then I can’t be hurt or let down by them.
Self preservation 101.
8) I wanted to be a vicar
Seriously. Then situation led me to realise that Christians were human too and that I would probably find it really hard to sit by nodding and being magnanimous if someone was being an utter dick so I didn’t pursue it. I still think I’d make a frickin’ amazing vicar though I probably wouldn’t be able to reign in my swearing. I’m also not sure on the church’s policy regarding unmarried vicars with two children and an atheist boyfriend. Black is totally my colour though- slimming and goes with anything.
9) New situations and people stress me out
I have to psyche myself up for life generally and fret about it lots. I’m the person who internet researches everywhere we are going beforehand just so it feels a little familiar. I’m a weirdo.
10) Hold on by Wilson Phillips is my music kryptonite
Like Eric Cartman with ‘Come Sail Away’ If I hear the first line of this song I just HAVE to sing it. It’s like I’ve been hypnotised into responding to it this way. It’s not just a little sing, it’s a full on belt it out with fist pumps, pointing and air grabbing – the whole shebang.
Now you know these things we have a special connection.
You and me.
Now it’s your turn to big up your bad selves!
1. Share 10 things about you the person. Not you the parent, the baker or the business.
2. Name check the person who nominated you.
3. Tag 3- 5 others to share 10 things.
4. Enjoy the tidbits of information we all learn about each other.
5. Voila, job done.
The fellow ‘enthusiasts of the personal knowledge of others’ (or team nosey) I am going to tag are…..
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