Firstly I’d like to start by saying SORRY MUM.
When I was younger I idolised my parents, they were the most fantastic people in the whole wide world.
The people I looked up to most.
When I was around 7 I used to wear my dad’s old jacket (even though my grandma said everyone would think I was a lesbian for wearing a man’s coat – Seriously, who says that?) It was a grey, average jacket but it made me feel happy because it was my dad’s jacket.
I used to take my mum’s old make up and daub my face in blue and lilac eye shadow and frosted pink lipstick and blusher.
They were (and still are) the most amazing people in my life, they were funny, they knew EVERYTHING, they did things like go to ‘dinner dances’ which sounded REALLY exciting and like something I would totally do when I grew up (I never have). They threw amazing New Years Eve parties, like the ones you see on Christmas films where people dance in the living room.
They were FAB.
Thing is, they were my parents so, at times they were a bit…..naff too.
I recall being about 8 and there was this woman called Sonja, my mum was a childminder and used to look after her daughter. Sonja worked in London doing something amazing and exciting (to my 8 year old brain), she had massive curly hair, she wore amazing clothes, a lot of pink. I’d go to her house to ‘chat’ and she’d talk to me like I was a grown up. I think she even gave me her old clothes.
SHE WAS SO COOL.
Now with hindsight I realise she wasn’t talking to me like I was an equal, she was humouring me and I probably did her head in ‘chatting’ with her but I just remember her seeming so…..EXCITING!
In reality she was just different to my parents. She didn’t have to tell me off, set rules or any of that boring stuff.
I didn’t want her to be my mum or anything weird like that, I just thought she was really cool, I felt so grown up and I’d totally be like her one day.
Today Aoife watches me put my make up on sometimes and tells me my lipstick looks pretty and can she have some and I have to say no because daddy wouldn’t like it, the day I put lip tint on her (a very pale one) he was most unimpressed. She likes to go running with Rory and run errands with him.
Aoife looks up to us, she thinks we’re the most amazing people in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
Rachel is a parent at Aoife’s school, she’s a friend of mine. She’s really lovely, she’s got a lot of hair, she can drive, and Aoife thinks she’s a cool mum.
It’s happened, we’ve gone full circle.
In the same way that 8 year old me was drawn to a cool, more exciting mum with a lot of hair (I wonder if the hair is a thing?) Aoife is being drawn to a cooler, more exciting mum than me and you know what?
It kind of smarts.
On Thursday Rachel is taking Aoife to school for me and then Aoife is going there after school. She is positively giddy and witters on about it.
I asked her
“Why are you so excited? Are you excited to be going to play with George?”
“Well yeah a bit”
“But I’m more excited to see Rachel”
I’ve even been sacked off from reading at school because she’d rather read with Rachel.
I thought I’d done a good job of being a cool mum, I clearly haven’t. Even Seth thinks she is cooler than me and calls her ‘Mummy’.
It’s all just a little bit of history repeating.
I’m just going to secretly hope that one of Aoife’s classmates will think I’m the cool, exciting mum instead.
If you like what you read then please consider nominating me for ‘Fresh Voice’ in the BiBs 2017.