Diary of a Secret Wedding – part III

So here we are! Part three of the Secret Wedding diary.
How will it end?
Will we, won’t we?

*SPOILER* We will.

If you’re catching up you can read part one here and part two here!

Thursday 15th Feb.

Last night I sad tweeted Schuh asking if they had my size in the shoe I wanted at any store in the country so I could order it.
Desperate times (and wine).
This morning I got a message saying they had a pair in my size right there at head office – I took this to be a sign of their absolute perfection.
The guy called, explained they were scuffed on the sole so offered a further discount.
Turns out Twitter isn’t just full of idiots – who knew?!
The children’s outfits have arrived and the rings are ordered.
Shit is really coming Together.


Friday 16th Feb.

The shoes have landed.
Oh. My. Word.
They are probably the most beautiful things I have ever seen (not including my children of course).
They make my heart feel big and happy.

Tuesday 20th Feb

After dropping Seth at nursery I popped to the florist to price up three posies and three buttonholes. I know EXACTLY what I want, a couple of Gerbera and a bit of a leaf hand tied into a posy.

She reckons it’ll be £150.

The florist kept calling them ‘bouquets’
I was like
“If you stop calling them bouquets we’ll probably find they cost less!”
I’m not tight, we are having a small wedding not a cheap wedding but FIVE POUND A FLOWER??

I can get a bunch of 12 for £8 at Waitrose!
I looked on YouTube and decided I would do my own flowers.
It looks easy enough – YouTube never lies.

I can’t believe that we’ve been planning this wedding for two weeks and all the big stuff is done.
How do people drag this stuff out for years?

I should totally be a secret wedding planner – do NOT steal that idea.

Monday 5th March.

I went for my dress fitting today the dress is still as beautiful as I recall.
It just needs lace cap sleeves adding and it’ll be done.
I can collect it on the 28th.
I’m a bit concerned that all initial urgency seems to have been cast aside but I’m sure they know what they’re doing!

My plan to plank and push up my wobbly bits has, frankly, failed.
Plan B is now in effect, I’ve ordered lots of lotions and potions to firm, tighten and unwobble me – in theory.
I’ve also ordered underwear, make up and accessories.

I am all over this.

Thursday 22nd March.

We have booked the meal for after the wedding, we are going to a nice little Italian at Granary Wharf, which means we should be able to get some nice photos in the dark arches (not as gloomy as they sound).

I’ve started a bit of a beauty regime, with face masks and whatnot, I’m hoping to look at least five years younger by next week. I was in the process of having a small make up meltdown.
The lipstick I ordered wasn’t quite the colour I needed and I was flapping.
Luckily fate and a bloody good friend (Erica, The Incidental Parent) stepped in and saved my face. A sexy Kat Von D lipstick landed on my doormat.
It’s like these things are meant to be…

I had hoped to have lost some weight by now but you know, food and wine!

I’m also not entirely sure all the fancy lotions are working as hoped, it is entirely possible I’ll need to implement Plan C – drink prosecco until I feel pretty.

The kids are away for the week after the wedding so our ‘honeymoon’ will be a few days in the lakes and a few days doing things we can’t do with kids about. Mostly sleeping, drinking and watching adult films.
Not ‘adult’ films, like films for grown ups.

I can’t believe we’re getting married a WEEK TODAY.
I just want to tell everyone, I’m about ready to burst.


Tuesday 27th March.

I’m getting married in two days.

I had to lie this morning, another mum suggested we meet for coffee tomorrow.
Obviously I can’t as wedding stuff so I said
“Ah that’d be lovely but I’m afraid I’m busy”

She said

“What are you doing?”

Who even cares that much to ask?!
I was flumoxed so mumbled some crap.
I need to stop talking to other people from now on.
Not forever, just until Friday.

Panic is starting to set in, I’m currently fretting about flowers.
Rachel has hurt her neck and is in agony.
The friend in me is genuinely concerned and hoping she gets better soon.
The bridezilla in me is screaming

“Not on my watch Rachel, NOT ON MY WATCH”

Obvs I didn’t actually *mean* that. It was the dark side bubbling…

Rory went to the market and wiped them out of red gerbera, £12 for 40 flowers.
Jog on florist!

I bet everyone thought he was a man in a LOT of trouble, seeing him walking along with all those flowers.

I’ve put the CD together for the wedding and I cried at the thought of Aoife walking me down the aisle.
I’m going to be a mess on Thursday.

For the first time, I wish I was telling Mum.

Wednesday 28th March.


Today feels like it should be more exciting, like I should be having a hen do or something!

I found myself in a bit of an internal panic at midnight, I had visions of Seth running wild in the registry office.
I asked Rory if maybe we should uninvite him.
Not an option apparently.

Rachel is a lot better – that’s the spirit!
We went for a planning coffee and immediately bumped into another mum and so I found myself feeling guilty and talking about leggings.
WTF Anna?

We bought a few more flowers from Aldi to make the bouquets – yes I called them bouquets – then went to collect my dress.
I got to the shop and the woman said

“Are you here to collect the dress for Anna?”


It seems that once you’ve paid for the dress, that ‘special’ service is abandoned!
She didn’t open the bag properly in the shop, just enough to confirm it was my dress.
When I got it home I couldn’t wait to look at my dress…

During both visits to the shop  we had specifically talked about how I wanted the sleeves in order to avoid seeing that awful, near armpit bulge some of us are blessed with.

It was simple, the straps were going to be made super wide.

They haven’t made the adjustment properly and now my huge, hideous arms are going to be all over the place.

There is literally nothing I can do so I’m just trying not to cry instead.


Tonight Rachel and I drank wine,  made posies and button holes.
I’ll be honest, I was a little worried that the two YouTube videos I watched wouldn’t make me a pro but it turns out it is a piece of cake!
We did a bloody good job.
Our buttonholes are fab and our posies are perfect and only cost £38!
Everything is ready.

Bring. It. On.

Thursday 29th March. 

Who’s getting married?

Aoife has gone to school, she is still none the wiser.
Seth and Rory have gone trampolining – risky move.
I’m painting my nails and pacing the room feeling like I should be doing something but not knowing quite what.
It feels like there’s lots of time to kill….


Rachel came round at 12:30, we drank some prosecco and started getting ready.
Rory collected Aoife from school after lunch, she got home and was like
But I don’t FEEL poorly”

I gave her this lovely little card that said
‘Will you be my Bridesmaid?’

She was a bit confused and kept saying,
I don’t know what this means!” and “Is this real?”

Obviously, all that time we’d had, had passed us by and I needed lacing into my dress quick smart.
It was Rachel’s time to shine.
…”You can do it tighter…tighter…if it hurts it’s right…”

…”Just take your bra off…I might touch your bum sorry…I’m going to have to go under your dress…”

Things happened in that room that no friends should have endure but I was in and I felt fabulous – thank you Plan C.

At the Town Hall Aoife and I waited in a room for our cue.
She was to walk me down the aisle – cute.
The song started and we held hands and walked toward the room.
I saw a little light go off in her head…people would be looking toward the door.
She dropped my hand and trotted off ahead for her moment!

As it turns out Rory didn’t melt into a heap at the sight of me walk in, he didn’t even SEE me walk in.
Apparently music wasn’t quite enough to advise him of my arrival!

I cried happy tears.
The kids looked gorgeous, Aoife was sashaying around in her dress, Seth was declaring himself
Dressed for work”
And Rory looked fit AF.

I felt like the luckiest lady in the world.

My heart was all fuzzy, not in an attack kind of a way, and my face couldn’t stop smiling.
I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this but I’m not complaining.

Initially, I’d worried that as there were so few of us the ceremony would seem a little sterile.
I needn’t have fretted, everyone had been sat in a semi circle together and the children passed us the rings.

The ceremony was completely beautiful and intimate but it was totally weird saying the vows.
Not only was Rory a little concerned at the lack of ‘obey’ but I don’t think Rory and I usually look at each other when we talk, never mind so intently.
We also never say anything that’s quite as important, unless it’s Rory asking
Shall I pour you another wine?

We made our way through the city so we could have some photos taken.
My shoes became hateful in that way beautiful shoes do.
We ate good food, drank good wine and had wonderful conversation.
We were home for 9pm and we were exhausted.

It was the perfect wedding.

I’d totally do it again.

Now all that’s left to do is plan a party, oh, and tell the parents!

Thanks for reading, I'd love to know what you think.

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