Before I begin, I would like to inform you this is not a declaration of pregnancy.
Made you click though.
It’s been eight years and eight months since I first announced to Rory I was pregnant and he still has an arse on about how I chose to do it.
I had a suspicion I was avec enfant.
I appear to be one of those people who know they’re pregnant a couple of days after bumping uglies.
My body goes from being a chateau fuelled by wine to a temple within which no substance bad for the unborn shall enter.
In this instance, we went to Harvester for tea. I finally decided to order the ribs and a large glass of red, as I sipped the wine I had the overwhelming urge to vomit.
I was upduffed, I knew it.
Rory was going out the following evening so I picked up a test on the way home from work.
I poured myself a glass of wine, I was still wine-broken so I peed on the stick.
I was pregnant.
Obviously, I was very excited and couldn’t wait to tell Rory.
I knew he wouldn’t answer his phone because it’s never on and I didn’t think I would be awake when he got in so I thought I’d text him the good news.
I sent him a picture of the positive result 1-2 weeks with the caption…
Who’s the Daddy!
Note the exclamation point, I was not questioning the parentage. HE was (is) the daddy.
I was quickly informed that, although he was terribly happy about the news, he did not feel that an MMS was the appropriate way to break the new to him.
I thought it was cute – apparently not.
With Seth, I once again received my positive result and remembered that text is not the appropriate way to share this information.
I decided, as Rory was away overnight, I would think of an even BETTER way to break the happy news.
Now, bear in mind I had a two and a half year old climbing the walls and driving every one of my wits to their end. I barely had a moment to think of something elaborate.
When Rory arrived home he wandered into the kitchen then walked back into the living room clutching the stick I’d left on the side and announced
“Really!?! You’ve done it again!”
He thought THAT was how I was announcing the happy news and I have since been tagged as the worst bringer of joyous news ever.
I figured that I couldn’t be alone in my terrible ways to announce a pregnancy and decided to ask some blogging friends how they broke the news.
I’ll be honest, I was just hoping someone would be worse than me.
“I took the pregnancy test in the car when I picked him up from the train station. He looked at and said ‘f*** off’! We had been trying for 2 years and were taking a break after fertility treatment so it was a bit of a shock!…As in took it with me not peed on it in the car!” Emma – Free From Farmhouse
“Mine heard me from the bathroom on the phone to my friend lol ? she found out first. Not happy at all.” Aimee – Dream in Colour
“We had tickets to a concert the following evening I asked him if he thought three of us would be able to get in on the two tickets. He started telling me that we wouldn’t but there were still some tickets left then he caught my eye and the penny dropped. We had been trying for a few months and had decided to take a break so it was a lovely surprise.” Sophie – Soph-Obsessed
“I gave the clear blue test to our springer spaniel who was really obedient – he went and took it too my husband when he came home from work.” Emma – Ready Freddie Go
“With my second I hadn’t even told him I was doing a test. I did it when he was at work. I was staring at the positive result in disbelief when there was a knock at my door. I shoved it in the drawer and planned on telling him when he got home. Instead he got home and went to the drawer to get something without me realising. He came to find me with it in his hands and a look of confusion. “Surprise!”. Claire – Life, Love and Dirty Dishes
“For this pregnancy (currently waiting for baby to arrive, he’s late!) the tables were turned and my hubby came home with a test ‘just to rule it out’. He was already booked in for a vasectomy at this point and we sat in stunned silence for ooh, let me think approximately 39 weeks.” Emma – Dirt, Diggers and Dinosaurs
“Well, I pissed on a stick in an ice cream parlour toilet in Seaham and let the shock and disbelief unravel slowly in my psyche for a good eight hours before I finally went home and he had to drag it out of me that there was a reason I’d been a starving, horny bitch for the last few weeks after all and it wasn’t cos he was irresistible, rather that the shit had hit the fan” Alex – Actual AR
“My husband actually told me I was pregnant! We had gone for ivf, it had failed the previous go, so I couldn’t stand to take another sad call from a nurse. So he took the call and told me over dinner that I was pregnant” Zoe – My Little Wildlings
“The second time we had been trying for a while and almost gave up hope… Every month was disappointment, so the month that I did finally get a positive I ordered two T-shirt’s on amazon prime. One saying “I can’t keep calm my wife is pregnant, and another for our son that said “I can’t keep calm I’m going to be a big brother”. I asked hubby to open the post and he saw the T-shirt’s and got all teary saying “hopefully I’ll be able to wear this one day” when I told him he could definitely put it on straight away there were tears from all of us!” Zoe – Lycra Widow
OK. I hold my hands up. Maybe Rory is right and pregnancy announcements aren’t my forte.
I suggested there’s only one way to resolve it – to let me get it right, he gave a positive NO!