We’ve all had those days. The ones where, in the immortal words of the Rembrandts:
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job’s a joke, you’re broke
Your love life’s DOA
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year
The days where you wish you could do a Reginald Perrin or John Darwin (the Hartlepool Canoe Man) and start again somewhere new under a new identity. Obviously not before ensuring your last will and testament and other relevant documents have been ratified by people such as those on this website.
You then slap yourself round the chops with a wet halibut, remember all the great things in your life and realise it is just a change of scene you could do with, mainly as you realise you can’t feel your fingers or toes. How far flung can one go on the available budget, where nice weather is likely and would be interesting to go? How about Florida now that they have a sane, though possibly senile person in charge?
The theme parks for the kids (both actual and grown-up), the Keys for a bit of boho chic and Miami for the nightlife – sure we’ll all fit in with the beautiful perma-tanned locals…
Did you know?
Florida has the most golf courses of any state in America. Obviously golf spoils a good walk (and I’m sure the development of courses isn’t great for the natural environment) but at least it probably distracts Trump and his goldfish brain from trying to run the US;
Approximately 1,000 people move there each day. The sunny days and mild winters no doubt help. It would help to click here if you felt like moving to Tampa (ranked the 6th best place to live);
There are no dinosaur fossils in Florida, as the peninsula was underwater during the age of the dinos;
Not surprisingly based on the above, it is the flattest state in the USA, with its highest natural point being 345 feet above sea level. In comparison, the highest point of the M62 is 1,221 feet above sea level – certainly not as warm up at that famous farmhouse up there; and
Florida produces 40% of the world’s orange juice supply – seems we have them to thank for us not being scurvy ridden.
You go across with the intention of hiring a convertible Mustang and cruising the coasts and boulevards, then realise a minivan is probably the best answer when you have the kids in tow. You also research best elderly transportation but realise you aren’t quite at that stage yet, albeit also not quite past the “Are we there yet?” questions.
More research also indicates:
Florida has more than 200 sunny days a year
There is no state income tax
For a southern state there is much cultural diversity – those born and raised but also retiree “snow birds”, and a large Latino population
The overall cost of living is lower than the national average
There is a vivid sports scene – Florida has three football (gridiron) teams, two baseball, and two basketball teams
Most importantly the fresh produce in the state and Cuban influence gives a vibrant food scene
The more you look at it the more you realise that you just need to get booked for something warm and enticing to look forward to next year – in the meantime, where did I put that hot water bottle?
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