“Mummy, I really need a wee”
“You should have gone before we left, we’ll have to walk fast”
“I didn’t need to go then but I REALLY need to go now”
“I’m afraid there’s not a lot I can do”
“But I NEED to go”
“I understand that but I can’t do anything about it, do you want to go in a bush?”
“TUT NO. I want to go on a toilet”
“We’ll be home soon”
“You’re really not helping Mummy”
“What do you mean I’m not helping???”
“I still need a wee, you’ve not helped”
We stop walking
“Right, go to the toilet then”
“I can’t, there isn’t a toilet here”
“THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU”
We walk in silence for a while
“You’re definitely not being very helpful Mummy”
Once again something is my fault. EVERYTHING is my fault. Always.
There’s so much responsibility that comes with being a Mummy, it’s not just the simple act of keeping them alive as I was initially led to believe!
It’s my fault that the TV scheduling is such that the programme isn’t on that she’d like to watch.
It’s my fault that she’s tripped over her foot.
It’s my fault that she’s tripped over my foot.
It’s my fault that it’s not snowing.
It’s my fault that it’s snowing but not laying.
It’s my fault that she wore the top she wants to wear and it’s in the wash.
It’s my fault that she’s been told off for being naughty.
It’s my fault that her heart is breaking because it’s bed time.
It’s my fault that an hour is 60 minutes long.
It’s my fault that food needs cooking before eating.
It’s Rory’s fault that 10 miles is 10 miles away (HUZZAH, it’s not me)
The list of my past errors is extensive! I can’t keep up.
Last week I had to walk to school carrying a booster seat whilst pushing Seth (and not carrying Aoife’s book bag much to her disgust as she could see I had a spare shoulder).
I had remembered the booster seat for the class trip.
I had remembered to dress Aoife in red for Heart day.
I had remembered to put the money in her bag for non uniform.
I had remembered to take money for the tombola.
I had got Aoife to school on time despite a diversion via the doctor.
At home time I remembered money for the cake stall.
I bought cake.
“Oh Mummy, thanks for remembering all those things for me today”
Is not what I heard.
Instead I got told off because she wanted to choose her own cake, yes she liked the one I chose but next time she’ll choose her own.
Then I got told off because I had forgotten HER bear for bearobics. The bear that she chooses and puts in her bag. I FORGOT.
All the things I remembered, completely unnoticed! But the one, tiny little thing I forget? You’d think it was the end of the world.
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